Post # 1
I am posting this because I am so tormented, I barely slept last night. My fiance worked with a lawyer and had a prenup drawn up without discussing it with me. Then he gives it to me last night….19 days before our wedding. I know we all love to talk about love and bliss and I am sorry to not be on that same boat at the moment. I don’t know what to do but the timing and the way it was done seems and feels so wrong. Our relationship has been wonderful. I am shocked.
Post # 3
He hasn’t mentioned anything about it at all in the past? Seems kind of weird to blindside you like this.
Post # 4
First step – get yourself a lawyer to review.
Second step – talk to your FH about where this came from and why the short notice
Third step – try to listen with an open mind, there’s probably a good reason behind it (although the execution sucks) and make sure that your interests are covered in the document as well. If not, have your lawyer send it back to his for revisions until both of you are sure that it’s not a one-way protection that completely screws you over.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
I think this is definitely something that should include your input and yes his way of going about it was unsavory, I think.
Did he ever tell you before there’d be a prenup? Do you have any of your own assets? I definitely agree that this is something that should’ve been brought up MUCH sooner and I’m unsure how to give you advice.. I’d be very shocked as well.
Post # 6
Wow. I am vocally pro pre nups but that is way wrong. He better have a good explanation for why the short notice and why he expects you to sign it without have had a hand in drafting it or having had time to get a lawyer etc.
What you do, do not sign it without having time and a lawyer to look at it and revise. Do not. If he calls off/postpones the wedding because of this, that’s on him.
Post # 7
Wow. I’m wholeheartedly in favor of pre-nups, but I’m still flabbergasted by this. A pre-nup should be about protecting *both* of you, and should have been something you talked about and agreed on together. To just dump it on you without any warning, three weeks before the wedding? Just…wow.
He handled this horribly. He owes you an explanation and an apology, stat.
And don’t even think about signing anything until a lawyer has vetted it.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
At the very least he needs to get you a lawyer to review the document with you and make any changes you feel you need. He cannot expect you to sign this without your own lawyer.
But it was a bitch move to drop this on you this close to the wedding. There, I said it.
Post # 9
What did he say when he presented it to you? Did you ask as to why he waited so long and didn’t discuss with you months ago? This should be something you both agreed to. I would be furious and very upset. I would talk to him ASAP. Did either of you ever mention the idea of having a a pre-nup in the past? Definately do not sign until you’ve discussed with him. Do you even want one?
Post # 10
Agree with pp who said he owes you an explanation and an apology immediately! I’m in favor of prenups if the situation warrants, but it isn’t something that should ever come out of left field at a time when you are basically being “forced” into signing, since you are weeks out from your wedding.
Also agree with pp who said you definately should have a lawyer read through the document before you sign anything.
Post # 11
I totally agree with all PP’s, Prenups should protect BOTH parties, and for you to have had no input is ridiculous. Not only that, but to not tell you he was working with a lawyer, to spring it on you NOW?!?!?!
Post # 12
Legally speaking, believe me, this is too short notice. The invites have gone out, dress is bought, you’re really under pressure to sign this bad boy. Even if you sign this, he will have a very difficult time having it held up in court (if G-d forbid you have to go through that.) You will see, once your attorney reviews it, they might even point out where it is a weakly-drafted document. After all, it sounds like a last minute type of deal.
The more important issue is, why was this handled so badly? You two need to have a frank talk about what is really going on with him. I wish you the best of luck!!!!
Post # 13
I would be pretty furious with my husband if he did this with only 19 days to go until our wedding. Not because it’s a prenup, but because he didn’t discuss this with me beforehand or give me a chance to draft it with my own lawyer. Lawyer up and get to it!
Post # 14
I am very pro- prenup but the way he did it is not ok. I deff wouldnt sign anything with out a lawyer and an explanation!
Post # 15
WOW. Just wow. That is ridiculous. I don’t mean to upset you, but I’d be worried that this was a tactical decision on his part. That is really deceitful and just…. wow.
I’m pro pre-nup, but this is unconscionable and insensitive and so many other things. 19 days? Get a lawyer ASAP. Hopefully you can get this squared away in time… but if this is a sign of things to come… you need to have a serious conversation with your FI… and evaluate whether you feel comfortable marrying someone who would do this to you. Maybe he was just ignorant about the process and decided to do it last minute… but still….
Post # 16
Wow. I thinks prenups are smart, but doing it with no notice so close tothe wedding when you might not be able to have someone review and negotiate revisions….that was not a good move on his part. You guys really need to sit down and discuss why he did that…it’s pretty shady.