(Closed) Prescription drug abuse

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m not questioning you, just wondering – how do you know she is abusing prescription drugs? How long has this been going on? And what kind of meds are they? While any prescription drug abuse is dangerous, certain drugs are worse than others. And lying and manipulation come with the territory of addiction, so it’s no surprise to me that she is showing those characteristics. I understand that you are frustrated with the situation but drug addiction is a very big deal. Has anyone in the family suggested some sort of intervention/rehab scenario? I’m just trying to gauge what the level of addiction is and what has been done about it, if anything, to date.

Post # 4
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Drugs affect your brain (neurotransmittors). Memeories are encoded, stored and retrieved in the brain. Also, people who are addicts tend to have other mental issues, and she may just be the type of person who is selfish. So if she doesn’t care much in the first place, she’ll say she forgot.

In any case, I’m very sorry for your situation. Try to be as supportive as possible, but stand your ground. Best of luck.

Post # 5
Member
381 posts
Helper bee

My mother is addicted to prescription medication for a barrage of illnesses – I completely blame the pain management doctor.

With that being said, it affects everything about a person including memory.  This past Thanksgiving I visited my parents.  While my father was preparing dinner, we repeatedly yelled back to her in another room that we were ready to eat.  After about 20 minutes of her replies saying she would be there, we had dinner without her.  She is ADAMENT we never told her, despite the fact she acknowledged us reminding her every 5 minutes that we were ready.

That among other things.  She has actually forgotten my birthday once a few years ago, as well as serious things I ask about – like her sending my medical history for my doctor.  To date, she has never done it. 

This is what happens.

Post # 6
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Im so sorry for your frustration. I knew someone who abused prescriptions and did fib about nearly everything. I actually talked to a counselor about this and the counselor told me not to be frustrated because what this person is going through (addiction, forgetting and making excuses or fibbing about everything) is an actual illness that requires professional help. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how right the counselor was. And although it was annoying having to put up with the forgetfullness, fibbing, and other behaviors, the more I realized how important it was to show that person I cared and try to get them the help they needed. Ultimately the person I knew ended up in psychotherapy. Maybe your FI is defending her because he loves her and wants her to get better, but may not know how to help? Perhaps your counselor can add some insight on what you both can do to make it a little more manageable during your wedding planning.

Post # 7
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Two years ago, I was taking pain medication for a number of months as I recovered from a couple of surgeries. Although I wasn’t addicted I definitely noticed a decline in my memory throughout this time. I would occasionally forget basic words while I spoke, definitely forgot details and even sometimes simple things like forgetting to close the fridge after taking something out. I don’t know whether or not she is feeding you bs, but I can honestly say that it definitely effects you!

Post # 9
Member
381 posts
Helper bee

You could try to advise the doctor of her issue, but if he does listen more than likely he will drop her as a patient.  If she is abusing – AND if for some reason he’s prescribing something which would be a benzo/pain medicine – he’s stuck with the liability. 

It sounds like she is competing for attention with you though – and may be guilting your FI about it.  This happens with a majority of MIL/DIL relationships… though not always to this extent. 

Post # 10
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hi Pendola,

My sister abuses prescription drugs (Oxy) and let me tell you I understand exactly where you are coming from. Unfortunately, those drugs are going to damage your brain over time, and affect the nerve pathways involved in memories. My sister’s short term memory is horrible. She promises to do something, then promptly forgets. Also, my sister constantly tells fibs – being a chronic liar is often a part of drug abuse as well. Similar to your mother, my sister uses drugs so she doesn’t “feel” – she went through two verbally and physically abusive relationships in which she used drugs to cope.

You FMIL must get help, but only she can decide to do that. The best thing you and your FI can do is make sure you are not “enabling” her and just be there to support her by telling her you love her. By enabling, I don’t mean you are giving her the drugs, I just mean giving her an oppurtunity to continue with her behavior i.e a reason not to change. For example, my parents often gave my sister money because they were worried becuase she had no food, but really she just spent it on drugs. So for you, it sounds like she is manipulative (so is my sister) so you and FI just have to not give in to her manipulations. You can discuss more strategies specific to your sitution with your counselor.

Hope that helped a little – or at least let you know that others are going through what you are!

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