Post # 1
I am no where near my bridal shower date, nor do I know what they plan to do.
Somehow the convo came up about the party on Sunday, and obviously we already have our baby’s name picked out (Luca) and MIL & SIL noted that they think it’s “tacky” and “weird” to have the baby’s name on invites and/or favors etc. incase I change my mind.
I get it, but I speak for my husband and I when I say that we don’t change our minds often about things we agree on together. If we love something, that’s it, we’re stuck. The only two names we both love together for a boy or girl are the ones we have stood by.
I was told that the day of the birth I may change my mind when I see our baby, and he might look like a different name…I couldn’t disagree more. I feel like now that we decided the name is one less thing we have to worry about! We absolutely love it!
Would you/Did you have your baby’s name on the shower invite or other items? (Like a name plate, etc) and if you were sure of your baby’s name 100%, did keep it or change it when he/she was born?
Also my MIL references our baby to “Luca, for now” which is fine, but it’s not for now! It will be Luca! haha.
Post # 2
OK – Definitely meant baby shower…dur..
Post # 3
I think it’s fine, especially if people want to give engraved or monogrammed gifts. Although I will say that it’s a good thing I have a unisex name because even the doctor told my mom I was going to be a boy!
Post # 4
Eh, I think you’re probably right that you’ll stick with your name, but she is right that people do crazy things at births. Seriously. I work in a lab that gets samples from newborns and I’ve seen three different names for the same kid. Or kids that turned out to be the opposite gender (though usually the other direction). Weird things happen.
The nice thing is that it doesn’t really matter! There’s certainly no requirement for the baby name to be on a shower invite so let them design them however they would like, with or without the name (I’ve actually never seen a baby name on a shower invite, even when parents were sure of the name). And while it’s annoying that your MIL isn’t convinced with the name, it really isn’t that big of a deal. So just smile to her face and roll your eyes when she turns away (figuratively speaking!).
Great name, by the way!
Post # 5
BellaDee: Quick question, did you mean baby shower in your title instead of bridal shower? Just curious because if you meant bridal shower…then I think this situation would be a little different/strange.
If you are talking about baby shower, then my thoughts are to leave the name off the invite. If you really want to “present” the name, why not reveal it at the shower? Then if by some chance you do change the name, it’s not like it’s written all over everything. I haven’t had a child, but I have had many friends change the baby’s name at the last minute. Heck, I was supposed to be Ashley and my dad literally changed my name (on the birth certificate) after my mother fell asleep and then submitted it. My mother was not happy at first…but it worked out in the end.
Post # 6
bmo88: haha yeah definitely meant baby. This is what happens when you don’t post a thread in a while and have preggo brain. I keep referencing baby as bridal. You’re right, all of you, so thanks! No hard feelings towards my inlaws but they don’t know me as well as they think they do! If it’s a boy it’s for sure Luca. lol
Post # 7
The babies name I love starts with an H and his last name will also be an H… so I figure going with an H monogram will work regardless… Other than that, I would probably stay away. Just in case.
Post # 8
I get the impression that your in-laws might be passive-aggressively trying to get you to consider other names with their comments. While I’ve certainly heard the “you could change your mind!” route, rarely is it so heavily pushed. Given that “Luca” is a less conventional name, I’m guessing that’s why you’re running into so much beef.
I probably wouldn’t have my baby’s name on anything shower-related because there is a slight chance I could change my mind (though, like you, I’m pretty firmly decided) and I don’t like the idea of being locked in or explaining things later. That, and if unconventional names aren’t the norm for boys in your social circle, it means explaining your decision and how you came up with the name and blahblahblah to family members and friends you may not even really care about. I feel like incorporating the name into the big day can, on the plus side, help everyone feel a little more bonded to the baby — on the downside, like it’s open season for criticism.
If they keep making their “for now,” comments, it’s time for someone to say, “Luca for sure,” every time until it drives home the point. If they make comments about changing your mind later on, a curt, “I heard that happened to you, but it’s not for us,” can get the point across. This is better, of course, if it comes from your husband if he’s dealing with his family.
Post # 9
CookieCreamCakes: I didn’t think of it that way! Luca is a pretty common Italian name, and they are off the boat. The only thing I could see is maybe because I’m not naming him after my FIL, but my husband is already named after him! 3 Sal’s in one immediate family is too much for my taste, plus I feel my child deserves his own “idenity” if that makes sense.
I agree, maybe not having anything on the shower invites is best…I thought it was a cute idea (though I didn’t tell them it was), and I’ve seen the name on the cake before at other showers.
If Luca’s name is mentioned again by myself or someone and there’s a problem with it being said “too soon” or as a temporary type name, then I’ll have DH speak up for sure, good idea.
Post # 10
I don’t see a problem with it, however I wouldn’t do it. I have seen people steal other’s baby names before birth before so I wouldn’t chance it. Plus, I’ve read that gender mistakes STILL happen with all the technology these days.
Post # 11
I don’t see a problem with it. Our daughter’s name wasn’t on the invites but the cake said Quinn 🙂
Post # 12
I am not saying you will change your name choice, but I would probably not put something on the invite just incase. My sister told everyone through the entire pregnancy that her babies name was Paul and we embroidered all the blankets with it, painted it on the nursery wall etc… Her babies name was Augustus. No one has any idea where it came from, I still call the kid Paul but whatever, stranger things have happened when giving birth.