Post # 1
My fiance and I are getting married in a few weeks. His sister is the Maid/Matron of Honor. She is also having a baby and is past her due date. We’re getting married seven hours away from where we live so realistically her and her husband (who is a groomsman) probably won’t make it. While we are obviously sad his sister may not be there, what can you do? The problem we’re having is his mom and sister rather forcefully suggesting we get married early so she can be there and faking our ceremony and not telling the guests. While this is actually possible since we’re doing a self unifying ceremony neither of us feel this is fair to everyone else who have helped us plan our big day. His mom is threatening to not pay for the things she said she and ffil would pay for. I can ask my parents to pick up the tab and we can pay them back, but I’m afraid expaining the situation will create drama between our families. Any suggestions to diffuse this uncomfortable situation? Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
That is an insane demand. I suggest that you talk to your folks or find some way to pay for the things she promised and don’t take anything from her at all.
If you give in on this, she’ll know that she can threaten to withold whatever she wants in the future and you’ll cave. If she’s willing to make these kinds of crazy demands while it’s just the two of you, what if you decide to have children? What kind of hoops will she force you to jump through then in order to keep her from denying things from your kids that she gives to her other grandchildren?
It may cause drama. Regardless, when you talk to your folks, let them know that you specifically don’t want problems from this. You don’t want them to speak up or say anything, and the only reason you are coming to them is to avoid the nastiness from his family. Hopefully, they will support you and understand why you don’t want to give in to the in-laws, but you also don’t want to purposefully stir the pot any more than what they are currently doing.
Post # 4
Wow, how much money are you talking?
Post # 5
thanks guys sorry it took me so long to get back! We’re not giving in. We’ve been planning for over a year and we can’t change our planning for one person. His parents were paying for around 2,500 worth of wedding costs. My parents are picking up the extra expense and we’ll just pay them back. I’m pretty sure his mom isn’t coming now which means the rehersal dinner is cancelled. My brother has offered his house so we’ll order lots of pizzas and have a good old time!