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i'm getting a lot of pressure from my mum on it - she wants to make sure i look great for my day. all our conversations around the wedding have focused on what my attire / accessories, etc are.
i'm trying to balance it by reminding myself that it's a day in my life.. an important day but really just a great big party surrounded by all my friends and family - who've seen me bright red from drinking, with smudges on my face and all sorts of other embarrassing moments (i'm a klutz!) they've seen the worst of me... so i should just make sure i'll have fun no matter what.
i guess i'm telling myself i DON'T have to be perfect - just happy, which for me means being clean and presentable! :)
i'm not sure if that philosophy might help you? (ps: i'm also freaking out about other details around that day instead - channeling my energy elsewhere if you will!)
Yes, and no. I'm working out like mad, but I'm also a cyclist, coming back form an accident, so it feels good to go. I am planning ahead some- evening out tan lines, weekly face scrubs and manicures, but I'm not going nuts over it.
For me, the big question is how much is my hair and makup worth. I hate to spend the $, but the lure of perfect curls and all-day makeup is pretty alluring.
Nope, doing my own hair/makeup unless I can talk my very special aunt or cousin into doing my hair. I will probably let my mom do my makeup. She just does such a good job!! That will be the only thing she has to worry about. :) I am going to work out to make sure I have done everything I can to make myself look toned and hot, but I'm not going to stress out about it.
I totally know what you mean. I keep staring myself in the mirror... and not admiringly either! I guess I just remind myself that my fiance loves me RIGHT NOW as I am, 15 lbs heavier than I'd like, blemishes and all. That's all that really matters, right?
I know exactly how you feel. I've got spa appointments booked for day before the wedding to scrub my skin so it'll look nice. On the wedding day I have two hair appointments and two make up appointments booked (so everything can be touched up). My craziness extends to all my wedding projects as well... I feel the need to make it all perfect. It's sick but I can't help myself. And I'm making myself sick with worry trying to pull it all off and I can't stop.
I think it's a me thing though... the perfectionist in me... not a wedding industry thing. A me thing. Something for me to work on for sure. An opportunity to grow and learn I guess. If I don't go crazy before the wedding that is.
Good timing on this post... I was just musing about this on my blog yesterday b/c I made myself sick (literally, to my stomach) with worry over wedding projects.
Hang in there. And I'll just say what everyone tells me... It'll all work out and in 10 years you won't care. (Even though I don't quite believe it myself yet)
:)
On your wedding day, you will feel the most beautiful you've ever felt. You won't be thinking about those trouble spots you thought you had. I was the same way (nervous about pictures, beating myself up for not spending more time in the gym) but on the day of I really just felt great!
Just get your self there! Only a couple more weeks!
I really don't have this problem. I've never been the sort of person to dream about my wedding day or anything. I'm relying on my aunt and cousin to do my hair and makeup the day of. I have no idea what I will look like! I know it's crazy but I'm sure they will do a great job.
Um, yeah, kinda! OK kind of a lot. I worked out like crazy, was EXTRA careful about what I put in my mouth (coworkers were shocked to see me eating jelly beans today. Everyone gave me crap for it b/c I never ate junk b/c of the wedding!) and I was always stressing over my skin. I stopped wearing foundation for a week and a half leading up to the wedidng. As in naked face+mascara. Unheard of for me. I had my teeth whitened. I went tanning (AGH!). I went on a no-salt diet. I wore strapless swimsuits EVERYWHERE even though it meant almost flashing some kids at a pool. I kept nice, acrylic nails on all the time so when people grabbed my hand they weren't embarassingly chewed up. I spent money on bikini waxes and some other super high end beauty things that I am too embarassed to admit, even on WB. Although it WAS totally worth it and the wedding was just a little incentive for some things. Some things I just wanted to do to take care of myself, now that iw as finally OUT of college and had money, I felt like I could spend it on myself to make myself look and FEEL better. If you feel confident, you exhude that. And it shows in all aspects of your life. By the way, I'm a professional money-justifier =].
On the day of, nobody would have noticed or cared if I weighed 5 pounds or more, was 5 shades tanner or lighter, or whether my teeth were ever so slightly whiter. Oh, and I had two huge zits on my back right where my sports bra goes. Like, huge deep cyst ones. And you know what? A bridesmaid whipped out foundation, put a little sparkle powder over my back, and it disappeared. NOT worth stressing over, lemme tell ya, girl.
In the end, it's all about how you feel. But you know, I want to get back to my pre-wedding weight now b/c I realize how comfortable and happy I was without all this extra excessive muffin top hanging out on my dress pants. My top button has remained unbuttoned for a week now. I know. =(
I am just now feeling it. I got back from vacation and told my soon-to-be mil about my over indulgence ... chocolate, chocolate, steaks, chocolate ... more chocolate ... lol and she answered "Omg, are you going to fit into your dress!" ...
So yes. I guess as soon as it was nice to lay out I would never leave my straps on the bikini up ... I wear them strapless so I don't have lines.
I will begin the 2 month teeth whitening tray routine soon. I have been taking lots of vitamins and obsessing about my hair, length in particular!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
People put so much pressure on brides - people who still think we're getting married next year with the traditional wedding are telling me only to eat "lettuce and water" for two months beforehand. Sheesh, I'm glad I've never had an eating disorder. That said, I'm putting lots of pressure on myself! I'm working out every day, focusing on those pesky triceps, and starting to think before eating. The pre-wedding facial doesn't seem so much like pressure to be beautiful, as something relaxing and indulgent to do beforehand that has the benefit of healthier skin.
Try not to stress too much. I found that working out more prior to the wedding doubled as stress relief. On the wedding day, my hair wasn't perfect, but I felt great and had a fabulous time. If you're worried about looking good in photos - if your photographer is shooting digital, it's amazing what post-processing can do. It's more important to *feel* great than it is to stress out about not *looking* perfect.
I feel you. I have over a year...and I'm attempting to work out (since I never do) and I'm starting to really think about what I eat. At the same time I regret when I have a latte, and stuff like that. I'd love to go in to my dress fitting this may, it'd be nice for them to need to take it in a little. And I worry that I might put on more weight...it goes on. haha. And I never worried about this stuff before! It'll be better once the big day is over.
I totally understand how you feel! Here is the number one argument against wedding-body-perfectionism: If you push yourself too hard to make too many changes, then as soon as the wedding is over you will start to resent all the changes you forced yourself into and slide back the other way. For example, I lost some weight before the wedding by not eating particularly well or very much, and in the 8 months since then I've gained it all back plus a few pounds. I'm right back where I started because the changes I made were induced by an exterior standard, not by my internal desires for myself. My internal desires then and now pretty much are summed up by "want to eat more candy."
Also remember the power of photoshop! If you get a huge zit on your wedding day, you can photoshop it out. You can even whiten your teeth in your photographs. I zapped zits and whitened my husband's teeth in a few of my wedding photos in a free photo editing program called picnik (www.picnik.com).
Regardless, what matters most about a bride and groom is that they're happy. True happiness makes anyone the most beautiful version of themselves. You are going to be beautiful on your wedding day, don't let anyone tell you any different, especially yourself. It is impossible for a bride to look bad on her wedding day. So really you are automatically starting with a baseline of "beautiful" and going up from there. :)
I can understand how you,re feeling. A year out I started obsessing about my wedding attire...but since I purchased my dress I feel a little more relaxed, and more focused on reasonable goals...Although I have been eyeing some La Mer face cream!!
I completely understand! And the sad thing is I just ate a BUNCH of popcorn. Not just plain popcorn - but cheddar and caramel corn - YUM! I just tell myself I'll work it off - I have 6 weeks!
I do seriously keep trying to tell myself that I am fine and need to stop worrying about it - everyone will think I'm beautiful no matter what... but sometimes, I can't help it and look at myself and think - 5 lbs... just 5 lbs. But seriously - 5 lbs!?!?! WTH? Why am I stressing!?!?!
After the wedding - I know I won't worry about it at all... and I can't wait... I just want to eat something without thinking about working it off later.
This is such a common problem. But you have to consider a few things.
Looking perfect (like a movie star) is no small feat. Celebrities literally have teams of people that are responsible for making every detail (hair, skin, make-up, wardrobe) look perfect at any given moment, and right now you are making yourself crazy by trying to do it all yourself. So here is my best advice on how to achieve the look you want without stressing yourself out to the max.
1. Get your hair and make-up done by a professional on the day of. It can be tempting to want to save money by doing it all yourself, but trust me, the last thing you want to worry about on your wedding days is applying your eyeliner or burning yourself on a curling iron. Let the professionals do their job so you can relax. So Hair and Make-up--CHECK
2. To have your skin in peak condition of your wedding day, start drinking lots of water every day. Rather than compulsively washing your face or trying to find the perfect toner, keep the face washing to a minimum of twice a day and let mother nature do her thing. Most of the time we break out because our bodies are not properly hydrated. Also, Drinking water, instead of soda or sugary drinks may also help you feel more slender. Even if you don't lose 5lbs you feel lighter and less bloated. Can you tell i'm big on H2O! Skin and Figure--CHECK CHECK
3. Pick a few specific things to do every day for your beauty regimen and stick to it. Focus your efforts on a few things, rather than constantly searching for each imperfection and a new way to fix it. Think of your beauty regimen as a way to pamper yourself, not as a necessary procedure to fix your flaws. The most of important part of your day should finding time to relax. Peace of Mind--CHECK
Hope some of my ideas can help you!
Best of Luck
I also completely understand! I am usually really laid back about my appearance (possibly too laid back!) - I never wear makeup, jeans & t-shirt everyday, little concern about my face routine, etc.
For some reason, everything changed for me when I got engaged - I became obsessed with the idea of looking amazing for my wedding. I think maybe when you don't make much effort on a daily basis, you feel even more pressure for the big day to be perfect -- maybe to show you are capable of it afterall!
Embarrasingly, I have booked facials for the next year, deep conditioning hair treatments, personal trainers, pricey skin care regime, hair coloring, you name it! I know the actual marriage and having a life with my future husband is the most important, but it is SO easy to get side tracked about the less important things (e.g. looking amazing).
I have a year until my wedding and I'm hoping I can calm down a bit about this, but on the other hand i'm enjoying 'justifying' all these splurges - a wedding is a once in a lifetime. I think the key is enjoying the process and not letting it stress you out!
I think for me the wedding was just an excuse.. I have always been self conscious about the occasional break out on my face, but the wedding gave me an excuse to spend the money to really get my breakouts under control. I don't regret it for a minute!! I haven't had a break out in 2 months.. knock on wood! As for the working out, I have always wanted to get back into better shape and the wedding was the perfect motivation. Will I keep up the 6 days/week workouts after I am married.. maybe not.. but I will at least be in the habit of doing something and I can keep up something after we are married.
I think it's very common to want to look your absolute best on your wedding day. It's not so much how you look, but how you feel you look. With that said, I would spend the money on professional hair and make up especially if you seldom wear make up. The pros really know how to give you that extra oomph and create hair and make up that lasts and will look good in photos.
Break outs will be triggered by stress, so try to take things easy. I also swear by drinking plenty of water. I get tons of compliments on my skin, and I attribute it to water and using an alcohol free toner twice a day after washing my face. Clinique has a good one. You still have two weeks to your wedding, and could firm up your arms by doing 10 push ups every other day. Your arms will feel much more toned trust me.
I have yet to see an unattractive bride. You will look beautiful and glowing in your white dress and veil, because you will be radiating love and happiness. That you cannot buy in a jar.
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Is anyone else putting an insane amount of pressue on themselves to look perfect for the big day?
I am not sure if it is because the wedding pics last forever...or because I have always thought that they wedding day is the day the woman looks the best she ever has,. Maybe I have just built this up to be such a big deal...that I am freaking out.
But I am noticing every inperfection and feeling the need to look perfect. I look at the zits on my face and rush out to get a stonger face wash. I see a little scar on my foreheard and was goign to get mederma until I saw how $$ it is. I want to tan so that my legs look great for the honeymoon. I am wearing white strips for my teeth look white. I am beating myself up for not working out...cause my arms are not perfect. I want my arms to be perfect. I want my hair, my makeup...I want everything to look perfect. I want to look perfect.
I am not someone who wears makeup daily. I do not normally feel so "stuck" on how I look. But right now..it's all I can think about. I slammed my finger in the car door and almost broke it...and my 1st thought was "oh no! I can't have an ugly finger at the wedding". I have been wearing tube tops all summer because I can't have tan lines with my strapless dress.
I feel like I am making myself insane. I feel like I see every inperfection thru a magnifying glass. I worry.....am I going to feel like this on my wedding day? Will I only see everything that doesn't look perfect? Why am I putting so much pressure on myself.
Does anyone else have this same struggle? Am I the only one who feels like she is trying to be the best version of herself....but to the point of feeling insecure?