pressure to tell the specs of your engagement ring? really rude?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
  • poll: was this girl rude in pressuring me for the details of my ring?
    yes, rude- I would have told her though : (20 votes)
    14 %
    yes- I would have told her to mind her own business : (32 votes)
    22 %
    yes- I would have pretended not to know the specs : (76 votes)
    53 %
    no, she wasnt being rude- but I wouldn't have told her : (4 votes)
    3 %
    no- she wasn't being rude- I happily share these details with everyone! : (11 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    This is the “modern era” and people are a lot more casual / forward about topics that used to be taboo… such as health, money, personal possessions etc.

    In truth what she did was VERY RUDE

    And there was no obligation for you to answer… I would have stared her down – told her to mind her own biz – or said I didn’t know

    I don’t share details about my ring anywhere for the most part except on WBee (my closest BFF knows, but I also have known her for 20+ years, she is to be trusted, not a blabber mouth, and I knew when I told her that she would understand and be frickin thrilled as much as I was)

    And NEVER would I take my ring off for another to try on… ain’t gonna happen

    My ring is mine… and I am superstitious that way.  No sharing, lol

    Hate to say it, but your Aquaitance was immensely RUDE… seriously someone needs to clue her in.

    Hope this helps

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    Is it possible that she’s in the market for a ring herself? If so, I can see how she might have had shopping blinders on and not realize how awkward she was being.

    Or she’s just a money-talker.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7410 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    This must definately be a cultural thing because I find in Australia that people really don’t care or worry about stuff like this. I personally cannot see what the big deal is to share the specs of a piece of jewellery. I know the cost, size etc of everyone I knows ring. Do I rememebr them, hell no but it was helpful when looking at rings becuase i knew what I was looking at.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @polly-pocket:  Well she started out rude by asking in the first place, but then continuing to bother you, bother other people and ask to try your ring on? She’s bonkers.

    Post # 7
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee

    Wow, that’s awkward!   I became engaged recently, and I’ve only had one person ask me about my ring size/center stone size.  She was nice about it and said she knew it was a personal question and that I didn’t have to tell her.  I told her because she’s an awesome person who is about to look at rings with her boyfriend, and they didn’t know where to start.

    Your acquaintance was rude in persisting you (and other people!) with questions. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1312 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @polly-pocket:  Uh, no this is very rude. I can’t believe she started asking other people about the cost of your ring. I would only ask (and answer) questions about the specs if it was a close girlfriend.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2305 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    No, I would find that rather rude.

    I’m pretty laid-back about letting other people try on my ring. I figure they’re just admiring it/wanting to see what a ring looks like on their OWN hand if they’re not already engaged.

    So while it wouldn’t bother me to let an acquaintance try it on, I’d be rather uncomfortable about her asking about the cost.

    (My younger cousin asked me about it, though, very politely, and I didn’t mind sharing at all. She’s been with her boyfriend for about 4 years now and I just figure she’s trying to get a handle on what she thinks she might like for herself.)

    Post # 10
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @polly-pocket:  I don’t think it’s very polite but I wouldn’t get all offended over it.  I’d just say I wasn’t comfortable discussing those details with her.  It would depend why she was asking.  If she’s looking at engagment rings and just trying to get knowledge for that purpose, I’d have no problem sharing the specs (except for price – I’d keep that generic).  If she’s just being nosey then no I wouldn’t tell her.  

    Post # 11
    Member
    4468 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @polly-pocket:  yep she was definitely rude! I would have told her some specs, maybe nit disclosed cost though.

    Post # 12
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 1993

    Yes, rude.  I don’t know if it is superstitious or not but nobody tries on someone else’s ring.  If it does happen or the owner offers or encourages it you are to put it on your right hand and then quickly remove it.  I have had that happen to me and it is hard to describe the pit in my stomach I had when that person put it on her left ring finger!  It’s just poor etiquette.  If someone is inquiring to try to get an idea of design for their own ring I would answer a few questions but probably never price or exact statistics.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    5432 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    I’ve had people ask me tons of detailed questions before (mostly girls who were waiting for their boyfriends to propose) and I always found it rude. I wouldn’t mind telling someone who was genuinely interested and cared, but the girls who asked me always seemed judgemental or jealous or resentful or something because their boyfriends weren’t proposing to them. I just give as little information as possible, try not to give them a weird look aha, and move on with my day. It definitely does catch me off guard though. The most common question I get is ‘how big is it (meaning ct weight)’ or ‘is that white gold’? I’m a cashier, so I even get those questions from random people since they see my hands a lot 😉 The questions from customers don’t bother me though, since they all seem really excited for me.

    Post # 14
    Member
    8426 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @polly-pocket:  When people start pressuring me for information I don’t want to give, I just make stuff up.  I figure if they’re going to ask stupid questions, they’re going to get stupid answers.

    Post # 15
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @polly-pocket:  aaah this has happened to me before!! AND people want to know our budget for the wedding, etc etc… so ridiculous!!! i can understand being interested in the carat weight (just because i’m curious and a diamond lover haha!) but unless it was someone i knew VERY well who knows that about me, i would neeeever ask!

    Post # 16
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @polly-pocket:  I happen to think it is incredibly rude for people to ask how much money was spent on something. All throughout the wedding planning process everytime I would do ANYTHING my MIL would ask how much it cost. I don’t get the whole being forward thing. I don’t think I would even ask someone how big their diamond is. Some people are just beyong annoying.

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