Pressure to TTC

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I can really understand this situation. My future MIL and FIL were like this. So badly, that we had a wedding planned years ago, and it was cancelled. One of the reasons that my partner brought up was that he felt under pressure to have children right away.

On the second visit to my partner’s family, his mother was telling me that she wanted to be in the delivery room when I gave birth to her grandchild. (At this point I had only been dating her son for 2 months!). Really scary!!! It only got worse from there. Now, 8 years on, he doesn’t want children at all, because he knows that his mother will not give us a moments peace.

Time to set boundries!!!!

Post # 4
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@LadyElva:  Sigh. Why do our parents/ in-lawsto do this to us? I get a little of this pressure too and I just simply ignore it.Actually, I usually say “we’re too poor and I just don’t want a kid right now, so quit bugging me.”

I think it would be good to set some boundaries with them. They have to do none of the “work” of having children. I would mybe tell your husband to tell them to lay off. It’s really none of their business when you want to have kids. 

Remind them they will not be pushing the kid out of their vagina, or missing work for weeks at a time, or having their belly itch from stretch marks for 5 months, or changing diapers at 3, 4,5, 6, 7am, or paying thousands of dollars a month for their day care.

I could go on. Have your children when you’re ready.

Post # 6
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

do what you want to do and dont let anyone talk you into how they think you should live your life. They are simply excited for future babies.

One word of wisdom: when you do decide to ttc, dont tell anyone you are ttc! that way if you dont get preggo right away, you wont have to tell everyone it hasnt happened yet. that would suck! let them be surprised and they wont see it coming

Post # 7
Hostess
8726 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh.My.Gosh. This is way too intense. I would kindly explain that you’d like some time alone with just your husband (more than 9 months!) and that you have some pre-baby things to work on .. I know excuses aren’t always best but I gotta do that with my FIL too.

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