Post # 1
My Fiance (god i love that word!) FINALLY proposed to me on christmas day just gone… and I, ok we are absolutely thrilled about it.
You see, we have done the whole ‘First comes love, then comes marraige, then comes the baby sitting in the carraige’ thing backwards. Not just a little bit backwards… we have done it so backwards we made backwards look like going forwards!!
Very lonnnnnnng story short…..
We bought our house first. broke up. I kept the house. Had his baby after drunken booty call when we were not together… it was melbourne cup day (like kentucky day?), I had 7+` bottles of champers under my belt… he looked…ravishing and I had… needs!!! I had our son 16.5 weeks prem but we were very much broken up as he moved on a week after melbourne cup and I was seeing someone after I had our son. We started quietly dating again just before our booty call baby turned 2. fast forward 9 months, he moves back in.
Then the pressure started by everyone asking ‘when are you going to get married?
‘ so just to make it even more backwards (thanks to a bottle of southern comfort and two failed morning after pills) We have baby number two five months later. No she wasnt prem.. I was pregnant before he moved back in. fast forward another 7months… he proposes!! 🙂
Any way… since we have become engaged everybody is continually asking ‘when are you going to set the date?’ omg when do the what are you doing next questions finish! I dread setting the date because the next quesiton will no doubt be… ‘have you found a venue?’ ‘who are your brides maids?’ ‘
Post # 3
They never, ever, ever end. I don’t think it has much to do with doing things “backwards,” just that people are trying to make conversation or are nosy.
I put a pretty tight lockdown on wedding details and people seemed to respect that. When people would ask questions, I’d just say, “We’re working on all the details but I don’t want to say anything until it is set in stone. You’ll be one of the first to know once we have the details worked out!” And then change the topic to something about them.
Not spilling details constantly was a great decision for me during wedding planning. Things DO change, and if you give people 6 different plans as they develop, it just causes confusion and incorrect expectations. I’d suggest you ask your Fiance and close family to keep a lid on wedding plans, not go around telling people things. My policy was “SAY NOTHING!” I don’t regret it.
Post # 4
We did things backwards, as well:
Met in ’01, baby in ’04, proposal in ’09, ‘separation’ (we moved apart, and called off the proposal, but we worked on our issues, and were still seeing each other), re-engaged in ’11, bought a house that summer, married in ’12… and hopefully another baby in ’13/’14…
… so I know ALLLLL about those questions.
Don’t feel pressured, though. Some people are just nosy.
Post # 5
We haven’t really done things backwards, we’ve just taken a long time. I just turned 30, he’s 31 this June, we’ve been together 8.5 years. I have friends who have met, married & divorced in the time we’ve been together. We finally got engaged on March 24th and I’m SOOOO excited but I’m already sick of the when and where question. It’s beyond annoying. The first question everyone (except my sister) was – have you decided when yet?
Seriously, i’ve been engaged 5 mintues? Can I enjoy this, I’ve been waiting a long ass time for this ring (which is gorgeous).
Post # 6
I think it a a habit for people to ask and rush a date when there not planning the weeding. The same day I got engaged everyone kept asking so when are we going to have the wedding. Like come on I just said yes.
Post # 7
I also know how this feels… You have done your relationship on your own terms, do your wedding the same way! Do not let others judgments or questions bother you, this is your life and your family!
Set a long engagement people will want to know why so long.
Set a short engagement people will want to know why so soon.
In the end…it’s all about you and your family – no matter how “backwards” things may seem! Good luck!!!
Post # 8
@zeniadb82: You and me both! lol Future Mother-In-Law asked when the date was when we told her I said yes – 20 mins after the proposal! I was still in shock! 😉