Post # 1
So, despite trying to steer clear of wedding madness, I let myself be sucked in pretty badly. There was a bridal fair last weekend and my friend (who is engaged) wanted me to go with her. I had no problem with that. It’s fun/nice to have a girly day sometimes, and I can always make mental notes for my own wedding, right? I just wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of being snubbed by about 5,000 vendors for not being a bride. So my friend and my mother suggest I wear a falsie ring so that I can ask questions. So I did. I promise it was like walking into a den of ravenous wolves at that fair. It was pretty overwhelming.
I mentioned how scary wedding planning seemed and the boyfriend suggested that we do a destination wedding. We talked enough that we even tentatively picked a date. ~FAINT~ On top of that, he was all uber excited for a destination wedding. We both did some research and found that resorts are pretty expensive and don’t offer much choice. I can deal with some things being preset, but to have absolutely no choice bothers me and makes me sad. I tell him this, we commence to figuring out a way to get what we want.
For the past few days I’ve been researching like mad. Today I thought I found the perfect place and then I checked the reviews and they are just “Meh”. I was so frustrated and then I thought: “What the hell are you doing? You aren’t even engaged. Why are you making yourself insane?” So right now I’m pretty disgusted with myself. I feel like a fake. What was I thinking? I don’t have a ring or even a semi-proposal or a promise, why am I trying to plan anything? I must seem so desperate. Ugh, I just don’t even want to face the world right now.
This is probably not the best time to bellyache and wallow. I’m blessed, I really am. I just need to stop reaching. Tomorrow is the first day of the semester, so I will brush it all off and throw myself into everything with school. At this moment, I just make myself sick.
T’is all. :: sigh::
Post # 3
Honey you can’t beat yourself up like that! If your boyfriend is willing to set a tentative date, it’s not crazy to just browse venues and things like that. If nothing else, it’s fun to fantasize about your dream wedding…not desperate!
And I completely agree with you about the wedding fairs being overwhelming…some girls get absolutely rabid about bridal stuff! Have fun looking at all the possibilities the way you want to and enjoy dreaming until your big day comes!
Post # 4
Don’t beat yourself up. There is nothing wrong with looking into things, especially since you have discussed it. Maybe you should look into wedding stuff on the weekends and focus on your school work etc. on other days. That is what I did while waiting and it kept me from going nuts lol. But when the semester was over, that was all that I did lol. But my FH was okay with it and it has made wedding planning a tad bit easier because we know what we want.
Post # 5
oh many i know how you feel.
it’s so easy to get sucked up into the ‘i wish i was engaged so i could research and not feel bad about it’ phase.
my bf and i have discussed in depth what we’d like to do for our wedding (he’s surprisingly open), and needless to say that opened up a pit. i have so many sites saved on my computer it’s pathetic.
especially since your friend is probably knee deep in planning.
i can only agree with the other posts. there’s nothing really wrong with looking up so information. if anything it’ll make actually planning way less stressful right? as long as you don’t go booking a venue for years down the road like that one episode of friends…
Post # 6
I’m going to be honest with you. Do I care that you aren’t engaged and hear that you want to start wedding planning? No. It doesn’t matter one way or the other for me. Also, if I was a vendor and I met a girl who was not yet engaged, I would treat her just the same as a bride to be because one day, that girl will be a bride to be and she may remember the vendor that she met with who was so helpful, etc.
Don’t feel weird at all for starting to wedding plan. I wish I had before I got engaged.
Post # 7
Oh man – don’t feel bad. I had practically everything picked out before he proposed. To keep “sane” (loosely using that term, since planning a wedding before the engagement is on the horizon may not exactly qualify) I started up my search for venues. Then specific food options. And estimated costs based on number of guests.
But, I kept it all to myself, and when the proposal came I was excited to have all that research at my fingertips (although I waited a couple weeks to show him, so he didn’t realize I had such a head start!).
Post # 8
Thanks ladies. I get that it is ok to plan, but I just feel like I got carried away. I’m so sick of feeling like a nut all of the time over this. I told myself I wasn’t going to get like this again. At least I will have school to keep me occupied for the next few months…. Yay?
Post # 9
definite yay.you simply need a breather.
and don’t worry, i have to be careful when i plan because i plan everything as if it’s happening next week and if i’m not careful, i’m prone to being disappointed when something doesn’t work out the way i hope. that said, i make allowances for myself: when i start to feel overwhelmed, i step aside and take a break. it’s a plus of researching before the engagement because i have infinite time out buttons. i can’t always take a break for however long when i actually have a wedding to plan and a deadline!
Post # 10
@ tea: That’s actually a really good way to look at it. I never thought about not being able to take a break when the time actually comes to plan. I’ll try to look at this time as a luxury instead of a trial. Thanks.
Post # 11
I’m with the rest of the ladies – while there’s no harm in browsing around and looking into destinations you *might* be interested in, don’t get yourself into a tizzy! You can certainly start to make a list, but I’ll tell you one thing – even though I had started researching venues a long time before we got engaged (unbeknowst to ANYONE), I’m still feeling overwhelmed with all of my options. It helps to have place to start, but certainly be open once the moment comes upon you!
Post # 12
Just think, this whole process led to y’all picking out a date. so don’t be too down on yourself.
you’re not a fake. nothing wrong with research and planning. as far as the place you found that you liked that had ‘meh’ reviews-maybe their reviews will improve in the next few months.