Post # 1
I have a male coworker I’m decent “work” friends with. He’s probably in his mid 40s and is single. We get along well and joke around a lot about the bs that goes on in our department.
Well, I was invited to lunch with someone but didn’t want to go alone, so I asked my coworker to tag along so it wouldn’t be awkward. He agreed. I said, “Thanks a bunch ..I owe you something for this!”
His response …”How about a date?”
It caught me so off guard, I didn’t know what to say! I just laughed politely and started talking about something else and he goes “Oh, you’re avoiding answering that one, aren’t you?”
What the heck. Not only does he know I have a significant other but I talk about my boy to him constantly. And he knows we’re very serious. AND this coworker is old enough to be my father.
Maybe he got the wrong idea? Bleh. I guess it’s time to scale back on my interactions with him.
Anyone else have any stories like this to share? 🙂
Post # 3
Yup. Always an awkward topic. Crushes exist in all environments and during all ages, however most people have the decency to keep it to themselves and not make the other person uncomfortable!…not this guy.
I don’t know what advice to give you since this crosses many lines – the most important being office ettiquette.
Good luck girl!
EDIT: I didn’t read that last part. This has happened to me but since then I learned to keep everything super professional with everyone, all the time. It’s hard because we’re people and friendship is important, but situations like these are always tough.
Post # 4
@Mimoza: Yes. I honestly don’t even want to be around the guy now ..very awkward and uncomfortable. It just never would have even crossed my mind that he thought anything more of our “friendship”.
And thanks! 🙂
Post # 5
@Mimoza: Always an awkward topic. Crushes exist in all environments and during all ages, however most people have the decency to keep it to themselves and not make the other person uncomfortable!…not this guy.
Yep. Hey we’ve all had crushes on someone not so appropriate. But some things you just gotta keep to yourself. It sounds to me like he’s testing the waters with you. If I had my composure about me I think I would have said something like “Well that wouldn’t be appropriate! But next time I stop at Starbucks on my way to work I’ll bring you a coffee, how does that sound?” Or something like that. Be nonchalant but firm and unambiguous. Hopefully it was just a temporary lapse and he won’t make any more awkward overtures.
No real stories to share…there have been a couple of instances in the past where I got the impression that a coworker was acting crushy towards me and I usually just tried to keep my distance, but these weren’t people I considered friends so it was easier.
Post # 6
My male co-workers always offer to buy me lunch and it always creeps me out. I don’t think they mean it as a come on, but I’ll politely decline, and they’ll hound me until I agree. Ick.
Post # 7
Ugh I know this feeling and to me the worst part is now you’re uncomfortable around someone you have to see on a daily basis.
Whether the person is joking or is serious in my opinion it crosses work boundries and leads to an all around uncomfortable feeling for the person being pursued.
Post # 8
I was talking to a coworker about piercings and he said we should go get our nipples pierced – and he was serious.
Oh, and one time I gave a coworker a ride home to his gf’s house and when he saw that she wasn’t home, he tried to make a date with me.
Post # 9
Oh man, that’s awkward. I’ve got a divorced, 40-something male coworker as well, but he’s my work husband. We always joke that we’re together, we carpool so we always say we’re starting rumors….but it’s two-sided bantering, so it’s okay. He actually requested that FI and I have a special “Ashley/Coworker’s name dance” at our wedding. 🙂
If I were you, I would still hang out with the coworker. If he brings it up again, say “You know, Bob, I really value our relationship. I also, however, value my relationship with SO, so I’d appreciate it if you stopped joking about this”. If he doesn’t stop, say something to HR.
Post # 10
@pokie45: That’s uncomfortable!
I had a male coworker that I used to cut up with several years ago when I was married to my ex. He knew I was married, and yet he’d ask me to lunch. Not like “hey, several of us are going to lunch, want to join” but more like “hey, let’s just the two of us go.” It was extremely uncomfortable. I hate how men mistake kindness and friendliness as “I want you to hit on me.”
Post # 11
@Eglantine: Yes! I would just laugh and say something like, “Well, I’m not sure my fiance would like that!” Treat it like he’s just joking and he’ll get the idea.