Priest Insisting Couple Take Prenuptial Class In Order to Marry?

posted 3 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Umm, that is weird. I would think it might serve as a possible later basis for an annulment because participation is basically saying that the couple is going into the marriage not expecting it to be a life long commitment.

Post # 6
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Olive12:  Perhaps the goal is the discussions and understandings that happen in the course of a class like that.  But it does strike me as very odd, as well.

Post # 7
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

What?!!!  I’m shocked!  At first my husband wanted a pre-nup.  After speaking with our priest, we decided against it because they “nullify” the marriage.  The preist explained that the marriage would not be valid in the eyes of the church.  So this sounds very strange to me!  

Post # 8
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I can guarantee you that this is not officially sanctioned by the Catholic church. Something is amiss here. I don’t know what exactly but either this priest has gone “rogue” or isn’t really an actual Catholic priest.

Post # 9
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Olive12:  I think she is explaining it wrong. I think it is probably a part of pre-cana to talk through these issues. I know DH and I went through a session where we talked through the priest about our assets and how it related to marriage–in short, money is the biggest reason for divorce and they wanted to know we are on the same page. Kids affect money if you will be a stay at home mom, so they want these issues to be discussed.

Post # 10
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

wtf? are you sure?? I can’t even imagine…I mean, I would PERHAPS expect them to prepare the couple for if they ever hit a hard spot, chose to separate temporarily or indefinelty, but to prepare them for divorce, I can’t imagine the church would do such a thing. 

Post # 11
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

This is required by our diocese as well as many others I know. Its amazing and I’m happy I went through it and recommend it to all my friends Catholic and non Catholic.

This is not weird at all.

Its not a class that is: “it’s basically a class where the couple decides the division of their property and a custody agreement (if they have kids) to help prepare them in the event they divorce.”

Those are aspects of it but it covers, Faith (acutually surpised at lack of it in some of the points), Money, Family, Children, Carrers, Sex life, etc.

People who complete this class generally have lower divorce rates beacuse you are forced to talk about all these things before you get married. Something alot of people don’t do. For instance talking about what our love language was really helpful.Talking about all these things and the uncomortable ones helps you discuss things you don’t agree on.

In the Catholic Faith a Marriage is a Sacrament, more than a traditional marriage, an unbreakable bond, divorce is not an option (talking about healty relationships not ones where there is abuse etc.)

Biggest take away is Love is not a feeling its a choice, you choose to love the person even in horrible situations, just like Christ loved those who perscuted and mocked him.

Post # 12
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@Olive12:  That is very odd since prenuptial agreements invalidate marriages.  We’re not allowed to have them.

Post # 13
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Olive12:  I’d find a new priest. We are not into prenups in this house. Gives us the icks.

Post # 14
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sounds like misinformation to me.

Post # 15
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Having been through a divorce I actually think this class is a good idea (Although it would not have made a difference for ending my abusive marriage). Not actually making and signing a prenup but talking about what you would do.

It would open up a discussion about all these things while the couple is still in the ‘in love’ stage so they would be more open to understanding how these things can ‘sneak up’ on you during a marriage…instead of when the two are just angry with each other And can’t communicate.

To me it’s like teaching kids not to bully…you teach them BEFORE it happens and hopefully they never do!

Post # 16
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I can see the value of going through it as an exercise if the point is to examine where the couple differs in their values and perspectives. If this is done as an exercise and hypothetical with that goal in mind, as suggested by asianbarbie, then I think its a good idea. If it’s being done with the idea that divorce is likely and they want an actual prenup in place, that is amiss. Sounds like the bride needs to get the priest to clarify his objective.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors