I'm getting married in just over a month in a Catholic church. Both my fiance and I are Catholic, so it would seem there wouldn't be a problem. But there is, the preist.
We don't attend the church we are getting married at, as it is located in our hometown, and we no longer live there. The priest acts as if he couldn't care less about us getting married. We've gone through the whole process to get married in the Church, but it doesn't seem to matter.
He won't answer my calls or emails. He will answer my fiances, but only to act as if it is a pain. We are nice people and our current church gave us the go ahead to get married. Plus we discussed with him the expected donation.
Has anyone else experienced this problem with a priest? I'm considering switching priests and the wedding is only 38 days away.
Awww, I'm sorry! I'm in a similar situation as far as getting married in a church in my hometown; but we're not getting married until December, so I've only talked to him twice: once to see if he would do it, and another to set the date and fill out the paperwork. We'll just have one meeting with him in October, and that's pretty much it.
Perhaps it's just that he is busy with other people's weddings and all the other things he has to do? Good luck with whatever you decide.
Thanks for the support. I finally got ahold of him. It seems he was busy, and needed all of our paperwork from our church before he would continue on with us.
One thing I've learned from this, prayer really does work!
Yes, MissKB, prayer does work! We were planning on getting married at the church that my FI and I have gone to for about the last year and a half (since we moved to this town after college) but we haven't really gotten to know many people there and didn't feel that connected to it. Talking to the secretary (we couldn't get an audience with the priest) was like pulling teeth. She wouldn't tell us if our date was even available until we had been through many steps of paperwork etc. Finally she puts the priest on the phone who tells my FI to call back when he's serious about getting married, ugh! We prayed for a new place to worship and asked St. Anthony to help us find a place for our wedding. We have changed churches in the last 2 weeks and it is like night and day. We spoke with a deacon at the new (and much more historic and beautiful) church who is just as kind as can be and so much less rule oriented. The other church had told us we needed to have signed affidavits from our families that we had never been married before so I brought them with me to the meeting at the new church. The deacon looked at me like I was special and said my word was good enough. *Big sigh of relief!*
There are certain procedures you have to follow to get married in the church, but sometimes it's not the church, but simple personality confilcts that are the problem. I'm glad it was just timing in your case!
Sorry to hear about your priest issue. We ran into the same issue with many priests(pastors). We found that if you are not a parishoner you will get very little attention. One reason may be that most priests are so busy with their duties that they don't have much time (especially for non-parisioners). Many priests are weary of forum shopping couples (especially if they have a pretty church). It's been a common theme when we were getting married. Our solution was to BYOP (bring your own priest). We had a family friend who was a priest that was willing to do our preparation and the ceremony. He was not a priest at the church where we were married (the church is our home parish now). The Pastor was more than willing to pass off the preparation to our priest. I did find that our priest, despite being very happy to marry us, was also very busy with his own parish. In the end it worked out (as will your wedding). Most priests want to get to know the couples they are marrying so I would suggest to make an appointment to meet with the priest. Take him out to dinner or lunch - just to talk. Take some time out to show him how committed you are to getting married in the church and how important this is to you. Also make an effort to say hello to the priest every Sunday when you go to mass. It makes a difference that he gets to know you and you're on his mind. I think you'll see a difference in the time your priest puts into your wedding. Best of luck.
Switch Priests and FAST! My best friend had this problem, after agreeing he reneged and said as they did not LIVE in that community they could not use the church (they had each just graduated college) The groom in this case happened to have a cousin who was a BISHOP and a letter from him accomplished NOTHING either! Sorry but just b/c he is a priest doesnt mean he is immune to human failings, you wouldnt tolerate this from any other vendor so I suggest you say a prayer and move on! Sorry its happenning.
Hi all!
I'm getting married in just over a month in a Catholic church. Both my fiance and I are Catholic, so it would seem there wouldn't be a problem. But there is, the preist.
We don't attend the church we are getting married at, as it is located in our hometown, and we no longer live there. The priest acts as if he couldn't care less about us getting married. We've gone through the whole process to get married in the Church, but it doesn't seem to matter.
He won't answer my calls or emails. He will answer my fiances, but only to act as if it is a pain. We are nice people and our current church gave us the go ahead to get married. Plus we discussed with him the expected donation.
Has anyone else experienced this problem with a priest? I'm considering switching priests and the wedding is only 38 days away.
Advice??
posted by MissKB 2 posts 4 months agoAwww, I'm sorry! I'm in a similar situation as far as getting married in a church in my hometown; but we're not getting married until December, so I've only talked to him twice: once to see if he would do it, and another to set the date and fill out the paperwork. We'll just have one meeting with him in October, and that's pretty much it.
Perhaps it's just that he is busy with other people's weddings and all the other things he has to do? Good luck with whatever you decide.
posted by cricketpe 36 posts 4 months agoThanks for the support. I finally got ahold of him. It seems he was busy, and needed all of our paperwork from our church before he would continue on with us.
One thing I've learned from this, prayer really does work!
Good luck with your wedding!!!
posted by MissKB 2 posts 4 months agoYes, MissKB, prayer does work! We were planning on getting married at the church that my FI and I have gone to for about the last year and a half (since we moved to this town after college) but we haven't really gotten to know many people there and didn't feel that connected to it. Talking to the secretary (we couldn't get an audience with the priest) was like pulling teeth. She wouldn't tell us if our date was even available until we had been through many steps of paperwork etc. Finally she puts the priest on the phone who tells my FI to call back when he's serious about getting married, ugh! We prayed for a new place to worship and asked St. Anthony to help us find a place for our wedding. We have changed churches in the last 2 weeks and it is like night and day. We spoke with a deacon at the new (and much more historic and beautiful) church who is just as kind as can be and so much less rule oriented. The other church had told us we needed to have signed affidavits from our families that we had never been married before so I brought them with me to the meeting at the new church. The deacon looked at me like I was special and said my word was good enough. *Big sigh of relief!*
There are certain procedures you have to follow to get married in the church, but sometimes it's not the church, but simple personality confilcts that are the problem. I'm glad it was just timing in your case!
posted by ErinSea 129 posts 3 months agoSorry to hear about your priest issue. We ran into the same issue with many priests(pastors). We found that if you are not a parishoner you will get very little attention. One reason may be that most priests are so busy with their duties that they don't have much time (especially for non-parisioners). Many priests are weary of forum shopping couples (especially if they have a pretty church). It's been a common theme when we were getting married. Our solution was to BYOP (bring your own priest). We had a family friend who was a priest that was willing to do our preparation and the ceremony. He was not a priest at the church where we were married (the church is our home parish now). The Pastor was more than willing to pass off the preparation to our priest. I did find that our priest, despite being very happy to marry us, was also very busy with his own parish. In the end it worked out (as will your wedding). Most priests want to get to know the couples they are marrying so I would suggest to make an appointment to meet with the priest. Take him out to dinner or lunch - just to talk. Take some time out to show him how committed you are to getting married in the church and how important this is to you. Also make an effort to say hello to the priest every Sunday when you go to mass. It makes a difference that he gets to know you and you're on his mind. I think you'll see a difference in the time your priest puts into your wedding. Best of luck.
posted by tpierce 5 posts 2 months agoSwitch Priests and FAST! My best friend had this problem, after agreeing he reneged and said as they did not LIVE in that community they could not use the church (they had each just graduated college) The groom in this case happened to have a cousin who was a BISHOP and a letter from him accomplished NOTHING either! Sorry but just b/c he is a priest doesnt mean he is immune to human failings, you wouldnt tolerate this from any other vendor so I suggest you say a prayer and move on! Sorry its happenning.
posted by ju1244 254 posts 2 months ago