(Closed) Private Ceremony – Traditional Reception?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

What is the reason you want to elope?

The reception is the hard and stressful part of planning the wedding.

I personally dont think there is anything wrong with doing it that way.  If I was a guest it wouldnt bother me, of course people would obviously ask you why and stuff, but who cares right?  The reception is more for the guests annyway.

 

Post # 4
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Don’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all. Its not like you’re invited some to the ceremony, some for dinner and some for cake. 

Post # 5
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Black-Eyed-Susan:  Etiquettely speaking, it is ok to have a private wedding if the total is like 20 or less, then have a bigger reception. 

Just when your wedding has like 50 and you invite 100 to the reception is when it gets weird.

For your reception, maybe you can change a few things.  Have a receiving line for when guests arrive for dinner?  Or will you come out after being introduced as Mr. and Mrs?

Will those guests’ invitations indicate a celebration rather than a wedding?

Post # 6
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t get why you would not invite everyone to the whole wedding.

Post # 7
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am thinking that some people don’t like to recite intimate vows in front of long lost relatives they hardly know?  Or it’s their comprimise for not eloping?

Post # 8
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Black-Eyed-Susan:  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

We are doing a private ceremony (just the two of us + officiant and photog though) and a mostly traditional reception. Before we come in there will be a lovely edited 5-10 min long slideshow and ceremony video. Then we will be announced during a champagne toast, then mingle for a short time and sit down for dinner. We will be foregoing some of the usual traditions like less special dances and probably no bouquet toss, but we will be doing cake cutting and the like. It will pretty much be a super fancy party with amazing food and free booze!

The reason we are doing a private reception is because we had originally planned to elope and then realized it would be nice to throw a party for our people. We are doing a mountaintop ceremony so it’s not like we can get all 60 of our guests up there anyway, and it works great for me so our vows can be more personal and private and intimate. 

 

Post # 9
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Black-Eyed-Susan:  That is exactly what we are doing! Except we aren’t having a dinner at our reception. Family is really important to us so we want our day to be shared but still private. We would still like to celebrate with our friends so we are essentially hosting a big party later that evening. We are also going to do a few pictures of the ceremony at the beginning of the reception.

Our ceremony will be us and 20 others (immediate family only) and our reception is about 180 people. We can only get 60 people into our ceremony venue so instead of excluding some people we are just doing a private ceremony.

Do what makes you happy! Its your day!

Post # 10
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

We are doing something similar but without a sit down dinner – a cocktail reception with heavy hors d’oeuvres such as pulled pork and carving station sliders, mashed potato bar, etc. I think what you suggest is fine. Perhaps you and your new hubby could greet your guests as they arrive and spend the cocktail hour mingling with them? 

Post # 11
Member
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think that’s fine. Guests will be happy!

Post # 13
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Black-Eyed-Susan:  I think that is fine, some people will want to see you get married, but as long as you add this to the invitation that they are invited to the reception after a immediate family only ceremony.

Post # 14
Member
7297 posts
Busy Beekeeper

This is fine. It’s only a problem if you do the opposite: invite people to the ceremony but not the reception. I know, I know, the ceremony is the purpose and the most important part, but other than parents and super closest friends & relatives, to most everyone else, it’s the boring part you have to sit through to get to the fun part. So it is no faux pas to invite people to skip that and come straight to the party.

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