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it depends on the venue you rent as a private residence -
if i'm a guest flying out of town, i would much rather attend a nice/fancy wedding instead of a random poor quality house to celebrate someone's marriage... not trying to sound like a snob.
There are venues like Ralston Mansion that is very nice and grand, or various country clubs that are worht considering for a cozy feel.
otherwise, hotel is a safer/easier bet - they will take care of most things for you so you dont have to worry about coordinating meals or dessert with different venders.
I think a private residence will definitely be cheaper, but it will also be a lot more stressful because you will have to coordinate EVERYTHING, and rental fees are not cheap so at the end of the day the savings might be smaller than you think and it might not be worth the extra stress.
Also, having friends that are chefs cater the entire wedding is asking a lot, and it might not work out as well as you hope, so it may be easier to have an outside cateror regardless (especially since they would then be responsible for clean up). i went to a wedding at a private residence that was beautiful and they catered it themselves, but they had a buffet and people ate more than expected so they ran out of a lot of the main food before my table had a chance to eat. i also heard the wedding party spent a good amount of the next day cleaning up, which isn't something I would want to do the day after a wedding! Just things to think about :)
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We are trying to decide between a wedding and reception at a hotel and renting a private residence in Northern California. It's a wedding of about 50 and there are pros and cons of each...
If we rent the house, the wedding party can stay there, stay as late as we want, AND we can cater ourselves (friends are chefs) and go with any vendors we want for flowers, food, buy our own booze, etc. but we would have to coordinate, rent linens, and DIY so am not sure how quickly that adds up?
OR do we just go to a restaurant/ hotel and have to share the space and pick from their food? And pay well over 100/ head- and most end by 11 pm. It's not as personal and sounds more expensive, but most of the leg work would be done. But guests would have to drive/ cab home after.
Any thoughts? I can't figure out the budget of doing it ourselves. It sounds cheaper and more personal but does it add up quickly?? I am a big planner so no problem doing it, more worried about the "feel" of the wedding...and the PRICE.