- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I’m in a really confused and stressed state right now and could use your thoughts and opinions.
FI and I have planned a ceremony and reception for our families and friends on October 5. We have about 80 people on our guest list and from our RSVPs it looks like we’ll have at least 70 people attending.
My problem is that I have anxiety issues, especially in large groups of people. When we got engaged, I wanted to elope so that we could have a private, intimate wedding that I felt comfortable with. But FI was so set on the big family and friends wedding that I gave in.
Now that the wedding is so close, I’m really starting to panic, mostly because in addition to my anxiety, my family is starting to cause serious drama concerning the wedding. I’ve tried talking to everyone about the problems, but there isn’t a solution that pleases everyone and the result is that I feel stressed and guilty constantly. I’m getting ulcers and I have stomachaches on a daily basis, and I’m having trouble sleeping as well.
My concern is that I am going to hate my wedding day because of all the anxiety and stress that my family is putting on me, in addition to the anxiety I already deal with on a day-to-day basis.
Tonight, I had the idea that FI and I could have our “legal” wedding a week before our planned wedding. We would invite his parents and my mother. We would sign our marriage license (we’re self-uniting, so no need for an officiant) and say vows written especially for the occasion. Then, a week later, we could go through with the large religious ceremony and reception we already have planned.
I like this idea because it lets me have the intimate, private ceremony that I wanted, but also gives FI his big family celebration that he wanted. And if things go wrong at our big wedding (like family drama or anxiety issues), I will at least have nice memories of our intimate legal ceremony to look back on, and it won’t feel like our entire wedding was completely ruined.
Does this seem like a good idea, or are there drawbacks that I’m not seeing? Your thoughts on this would be much appreciated!