- 3 years ago
**This is NOT a breast milk vs. formula debate. I know this is probably the worst time to post with this question as I have seen a few of these posts that have gotten way out of hand over the past few weeks but this post is about me and my situation – not another opportunity for women to judge other woman for a choice that is personal to them.**
I am pro breast feeding, almost to the point where I would say I am anti formula, except in exceptional circumstances.
The issue, is that I have very large breasts. I’m a 36GG and by the way my breasts are starting to spill over the top of my lace cup, I’m pretty sure I require a 36H. I’m only 21, 5’4 and my breasts have a mind of their own. At 13 years old, I got my period and my breasts started growing – by 15, my cup size was a DD and my breasts have slowly but steadily kept growing over the past 6 years. It doesn’t matter if I lose weight, maintain my weight, or gain weight – my breasts just keep doing their own thing and frankly, it’s really starting to piss me of.
I cannot run, jog and even walking is starting to pose problems for my back; I’m in constant pain; the bras I have to buy are expensive ($65 is the cheapest I have found); I’m getting grooves in my shoulders; my posture is terrible; buying clothes is a joke – nothing fits properly; I get leered at by men; I’m losing sensitivity in my nipples; I feel disproportionate; and I’m starting to hate the way I look.
So, I started looking into breast reduction and as of yesterday, I am officially on the public waiting list (18 months to 3 years) – I am considering going private but at a cost of between $6,000 (with insurance) and $15,000 (paying myself) I’m not sure it’s worth it – especially when the only fault of the public system is the waiting period.
The dilemma I’m having is that I’m still not 100% sure I actually want to have the surgery – because of the possibility I won’t be able to breast feed.
Now I know that a lot of women have breast reduction surgery and go on to breast feed, I also know there are ways of having the surgery done which means that the decrease in being able to breastfeed is only around 5% – but I’m not sure I want to take that chance. (I also won’t know what surgery ‘style’ mine will be until I have my first consultation).
What if I have breast reduction surgery and then cannot breast feed my children. I will have made a choice which impacts my child in a way I view as very negative. I know I will feel guilty, I will feel like a terrible mother, I will hate myself for making a choice that means I have to do something I don’t agree with – I will have been selfish.
But if I wait to have the reduction until after I’ve finished having children, I’m looking at the very least, another 12 years of pain, financial burden and self-esteem issues. Plus I have to take in to consideration that when I get pregnant my breasts will get bigger, so not only will my back have to cope with enlarged breasts, I will also be carrying a child (plus placenta, amniotic fluid etc.) and we want 3-5 children!
My SO is pro the surgery, even if it means I will not be able to breast feed our children and his view on breast feeding/formula is the same as mine. He’s worried about the toll my breasts will take on my body and my self-esteem if I leave them as they are.
I feel as though I’m in a lose/lose situation. And I’m not sure what the right decision is.
So bees, any advice? What would you do if you had my views and were faced with my decision? Why would you choose one or the other?