Post # 1
Ladies & gents, can we please please please try not use the word tacky anymore? I swear, one day last week I came to the boards and I saw about 4 or 5 posts with the word tacky in the title. Just in the title. I did a little search using just the word tacky on weddingbee and came up with over 400 posts with the word tacky somewhere in the post.
I think everyone here wants to have a beautiful wedding and for their guests to enjoy good food and have a great time and most importantly, marry the person they love the most. Whether we spend $500 or $500,000 to do it, those are our main goals in this wedding planning process.
I have been to weddings of all budgets. Each one has been special and meaningful in its own way. Never have I considered someone’s offbeat choice as tacky. Different, but not tacky.
I think we need to respect that each couple has their own vision for their wedding. These days, with the economy as bad as it is, couples are trying to have the best wedding they can on very limited funds. Each couple has their priorities as to what is important to them. So they cut back in other areas. Does that mean they are tacky? No, it just shows they are smartly utilizing their funds to what is most important to them.
I also understand there are rules of etiquette. But I’ve learned that a lot of that varies upon age and regional norms. It’s ok to bend the rules to fit what works best for your audience.
I guess what I’m saying is, can we use a little tact when responding to questions? Everyone is here to get support and positive feedback. And I know when we ask questions here, we should expect honest answers. But there’s a big difference between being brutally honest and giving constructive, helpful feedback.
I apologize if I’ve offended anyone here, that’s not what I’m trying to do. And I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m sure I’ve said things here that other people haven’t agreed with. I’m just saying, stop and think before you post. That’s all.
Post # 3
I 110% agree that using the words "cheap," "tacky," etc. is just not at all constructive and just serves to make people feel bad about themselves and their wedding plans. There are ways to express your opinion regarding these matters without using loaded words like this. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, and that is the point of these boards, but let’s all keep it positive!
Post # 4
it’d be nice if people could try but some people do come on her for straight-up honest advice, and they get it! I know sometimes I come on the boards when I’m in a bad mood (I shouldn’t) and it might come out in my posts. I’ve even written responses to some posts and deleted the response before I even submit it because I realize a little snark is coming through!
I guess that being said, maybe people should make an extra effort to re-read their posts and think twice before they get too nasty. At the same time, maybe people coming for advice need to be a little open to people playing the devil’s advocate!
Post # 5
Amen to that! I think it’s okay if you let someone know if you don’t agree with their choice, but often I find that people refer to any cost-cutting measure as "tacky", which feels a little harsh for those of us who have no choice but to cut costs.
Post # 6
Thank you for that, very well put!
Post # 7
Kudos!! Thanks for speaking up 🙂
Post # 8
oh sweet lord i’ve thought the exact same thing EVERYTIME I read the word "tacky"
Tacky is for glue only 🙂
Post # 9
Haha! I love vents like this, just love it!
There is no tacky! There is now the beloved DIY! And sales! I mean really, we’re in a massive recession, doing things on a budget is intelligent! We should just say AWESOME.
Post # 10
Well said! I am in agreement. Different strokes for different folks! One person’s "tacky" may be another’s "beautiful" or even just "necessary." This is a forum for assistance, not judgement.
Post # 11
couldn’t have said it better myself
Post # 12
i agree tessabella!!! well put!!!
however, i must also add that my experience with wedding bee thus far has been quite pleasant…when i post, i have never encountered any nastiness or caught offense from fellow bees, and every one on here has been super nice and super helpful!!! y’all are like my new BFF’s! haha
i do think Bees that post pictures of wedding dresses for advice /choices, etc. are looking for honest non biased answers and opinions from the other Bees, however I agree that you can be honest while being constructive. i have seen several Bees on here that will say "oh i like option 2 because it accentuates your (insert complimented body feature here)"…and i like that! i find that its helpful and constructive without "dogging" the other choices that the bee had posted for opinions.
good post though! we should all try to be more considerate of each other as much as possible!
Post # 13
I don’t really understand where this post is coming from. Most every time I see tacky on Weddingbee it is from a bride asking if X is tacky. When I was trying to find your post, I saw it at work and reminded myself I wanted to comment on it later, I did a search and found a lot of titles with tacky in it that said is XYZ tacky.
I agree with an earlier poster that people come here for honest advice. If it is the bride/planner throwing the word tacky in, they want to hear from real people their honest opinions about decision making. I am a frequent reader and do not see attacks, if anything I see people being careful to say, "I respectuflly disagree" with so and so and giving their perspective.
Post # 14
First of all, probably 90% of the comments are honest without being mean. But I have seen some not so nice comments and the use of "tacky" when it’s not really appropriate. I’m just saying, lets try to be a little more aware of what we are saying before we post to try to keep this the nicest place on the wedding planning web.
And I personally haven’t had any problems with anyone in regards to my posts. Everyone here has been nice and honest without being mean. 🙂
Post # 15
Thanks for this post! I always try to think twice (or three times) before posting to make sure it is positive feedback!