- 7 years ago
So given recent events and realizations, I have been on a proactive “take fate into my own hands” streak. I don’t want to re-hash past events, because I feel like I’ve already done it too much on this board, and frankly, I’m driving myself crazy by doing it.
But last weekend, I asked him, “please take 20 minutes this week to think about what you really want…whether you want to marry me or not.” I don’t know if he did or not. But this is all following a (yet another) conversation last weekend where I told him that everytime he says, “just want to make sure”, it is very hurtful to me, that he needs to man up, make a decision, etc.
But yesterday, as I left for work, and as he stayed in bed for his MLK Day off, I thought about writing him a note (where I’m sure I would inevitably say too much b/c I am an over-communicator), but instead I just told him, “please take some time today to think about what you want…whether you want to marry me or not. This waiting is killing me, and I don’t know if I can do it much longer. It would really mean a lot to me if you really took some time to think about what you want today.” I think he could hear the serious concern in my voice, like he really took it to heart. But the smarta$$ that he is (we both are), he said, “I’ll think about it.” I said, “you’ll think about it, or you’ll think about thinking about it.” Him: “I’ll think about it.” I just reiterated, “please do this…it would really mean a lot to me.”
So when I got home last night, I didn’t ask him if he’d thought about it. And he didn’t say anything about it either. But he did act a little “sweeter” than normal, and we cooked dinner together (which we never get to do since he’s gone all week every week), and he cuddled good last night.
So maybe, in his own understated way, he did think about it yesterday and did have some realizations. I’m not going to presume that he “made the decision”, but I am assuming that, if he had thought about it and had some negative realizations, that he would have been more distant rather than more cuddly.
I don’t know. We’ll see how subsequent events unfold.