probably too fat for my dress…

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

I think what is the most important thing to remember is that your future husband loves you at whatever size and I’m pretty sure he’s still going to be amazed and wowed by you in the dress.

Secondly 30 pounds in 75 days is a lot. I’d probably just stick with trying to lose the 12 pounds you’ve gained, if you really feel you need to lose weight at all. Have you tried your dress on recently?  Is it super snug? Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. 

Post # 3
Member
2685 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I’m so sorry you’re in this position! I definitely think that under the circumstances you would find it less stressful to buy a new dress than to try to lose 30 lbs in 75 days. 10 lbs would be totally doable, and 20 lbs would be possible but I wouldn’t advise you to count on it. I just think 30 lbs in that amount of time is really unlikely even if you resort to making unhealthy choices. Your body and your health deserve better. Is there a chance you could get your current dress altered so it would work if you lost 10-15 lbs?

Post # 4
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

Is it possible for you to return it for a larger size, or have it altered to fit better?

Post # 5
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I planned on losing, but have maintained, so I feel a good amount of your pain. My dress is not in a size I can wear proudly.

Post # 6
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You know how ppl always say “if there’s something you don’t like you only have two options: either you change your reality or you change your perception of reality”? 

Ok some cognitive restructuring is absolutely needed here (aka changing your PERCEPTION of reality) because changing your reality right now the way you’re thinking (losing so much weight in such a short amount of time) would be downright unhealthy for you. 

1. There is NO SUCH thing as a size you can wear proudly or a “good” size to get married in. You’re getting married to someone you love. The end. Repeat until it becomes your reality.

2. Sizes are just numbers. Do NOT fall into the nazi trap of dehumanizing yourself and turning yourself into a number. You are not what the scale says you weigh, the number inside your jeans/bra/whatever. You are what’s INSIDE of you. That’s what everybody that loves you responds to. And other ppl that don’t? F**k them. You are not your age, your ssn, your gpa, your tax return, the number under account balance…why would you be your size?

3. Your ultimate reality is your dress does not fit. Period. None of this “I’m too fat for my dress” crap, it simply “doesn’t fit”. If you think “I’m too fat” you’ll only create a negative emotional state for yourself. If you think “it doesn’t fit” you’ll strip away the humiliation, sadness inducing component ok? So your dress doesn’t fit? Guess what? They never do. Not until you alter the shit outta them, have dress regret, buy a new one, sell the old one…whatever.

4. Stop thinking “crap I gotta sell it cuz I’m too fat” and change it to “I have a new opportunity to find a dress that flatters ME RIGHT NOW”.

5. You can be happy, healthy, in love, glowing and radiant in the body that you have right NOW. 

Hugs JerNCher:  

Post # 9
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

JerNCher:  Then the good news is that since the dress was super cheap, you can (probably, hopefully?) get another dress. There are plenty of places to get plus-sized dresses for under $500, assuming you’re plus size. It’s not ideal, I know know you love the dress you have, but you have options. Here’s to hoping you find a new dress to fall in love with, cheers. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

JerNCher:  Also consider the major dept. stores, especialy Nordstrom. I was just looking on their site today and they had some nice dresses in the $300. And since you’re a straight size, you should have even more options available for you. So yeah, a bummer, but again, you have options. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I know how u feel! I’m in the same boat currently!

Post # 13
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

JerNCher:  Did you order it too small? Has it come in yet? I gained 10 pounds and they are letting out the top two inches, but the dress is otherwise fine. It really really sucks, but try to not concentrate on it and do what you can …

Post # 15
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

David’s Bridal got my dress to me in 2 weeks, and they have a good selection

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