- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
What about using the toys together?
This could be physiological, or psychological.. I'm not really sure the best course for him to take, in terms of going to a doctor or whatever... but if you encourage him to share intimacy with you in other ways, it might help him feel better.
Tell him to slow down and take his time. If he keeps going at a fast rate, ejaculation is GOING to happen.
OR...hop on top! Men last a lot longer when a woman is on top.
I've heard of guys using a condom to cut down on the pleasure sensation. He could use one from the beginning to the middle of intersourse and then towards the end (or at least when you've had a few orgasms) take it off so he can "finish".
Is this something that might help?
@atalante:We've done that but he's one of those guys that doesn't like toys too much so we don't use it much. I don't know what to do about it either and I really don't want to make him feel worst. He's been sleeping on the couch for the past week and I'm not making him.
@Baby_Diva: We do that more often, and I did not know that I will more often.
@Ill Be Mrs B:That is true ugh but after we stopped using them it's kinda hard to go back.
try a cock ring, ive read that it can help a guy hold off from coming and they come with various vibrator/stimulators as well so some fun for you too - goodluck!
Or try a numbing cream. It'll dull the sensation that he recieves, prolonging the experience for you both.
The important thing about sex is that you guys both feel good at the end of it, whether that's from the ideal Cinderella PIV simultaneous orgasms, "parallel" orgasms, or one of you enjoying indulging the other. If he's having trouble lasting long enough for you to come PIV style, then by all means try the tips that previous posters have provided for him to be able to wait longer. BUT -- simultaneously, you could also decenter the role of PIV in your love-making. When he comes before you do, that doesn't mean that he or you can't help to finish you off one way or the other, even if that's you(or a toy) doing most of the work while he tells you how hot it is to watch you, etc.
In short -- he can work on lasting longer, without the sense that it's a *failure* for him not to last as long as you'd like -- more like if your partner really wanted to try something in the Kama Sutra, you'd work on getting more flexible, because it'll be fun to work into your routine. The point is that you both get there, and have FUN doing it! No one gets points for orthodox form. ;-)
@infamous-kei: Have him try male kegel exercises. My husband does this (though he really doesn’t need to but he just always has since he learned about it) and suggests it to his friends who have this issue. It’s basically the same as kegels for women. When he goes to use the restroom, he should try stopping/pausing while urinating. I guess it builds up the muscles and makes it so he can last longer/ be able to hold it off while in the middle of sex.
I was actually able to find this article on it: http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_60/67_love_tip.html
Hope this helps.
maybe this is tmi, but i had two ex boyfriends who were the same way, and i would just have them cum and then stay inside me. If no one moved so it slipped out they would end up getting hard again within a few minutes and we could continue having sex.
They were both able to cum twice this way, which is ironic since the urban legend is that guys can't and women can and I have NEVER been able to do that, lol. It worked for both of them, so this may be either a hidden and unexplored talent men have, or a function of how horny young men are (we were all 22ish at the time).
Have you tried not just "doing it" the whole time? As in stopping a few times for some other play & kissing.
TMI alert again. My guy can finish really quick if he isn't super slow. And I usually don't go about things super slow. And even going slow he can finish within a minute. Honestly, it's never been an issue for me. Part of that is because once he's finished he doesn't go soft. Literally. It's not like a done, soft, then hard again. It's like he has viagra pumping through his system. Sorry. :) So we end up having sex twice EVERY time and the second time lasts significantly longer (like 30 minutes, significantly longer) because he already finished once.
Perhaps you guys could double up whenever you do do it? Finishing once significantly decreases sensitivity and will help for a longer more satisfying round two.
Get him to masturbate a while before you guys have sex. Have him do it, give him time to recoup, and then work your way into lovemaking. You tend to last longer if you've fired the round in the chamber and have to reload, lol.
2 suggestions:
1) Have him get you to climax prior to the actual intercourse so that you aren't as concerned about how long he lasts during actual penetration.
2) Have him use a condom to dull sensation.
Although a lot of Bee's have given good advice on what you should tell him to do, I'm not sure it would be easy to flat out tell him to "use a cock ring.." or "do kegals so you can last longer." He's already sensitive about the subject (judging by the fact that he's on the couch)..I don't think any guy takes this sort of advice well. It's so easy to hurt their feelings in the bedroom department! Whatever you end up doing, just remember he'll never forget what you say!
maybe its because your so sexy! :) lol im jk, wish i could help....i have the other problem
All of this is great advice and should help. However I just want to reiterate SecretBee23's point of making sure that, whatever you do or decide, you don't in any way get mad at him about it or make him feel bad about it. A large part of all sex is psychological and nothing can kill good sex like feelings of inadequacy and hurt feelings. You have to work with him and be optimistic at all times. Talk to him in terms of what would help you or what you'd like to do for or to him and not what he needs to do or what's wrong.
1) try a cock ring or condom
2) tell him to masturbate a few hours before you guys have sex.
^ these two things always work for my fiance. 
Also, if you guys just talk and be open and patient about things, there shouldn't be any hurt feelings or anger. Just tell him you want to experiment and make sure you're BOTH being satisfied! Good luck!
we have the opposite sometimes - he lasts too long and i get sore :(
I know of a friend with this same issue. They've tried lots of different things, even to the point of him being put on anti-depressants to help. It still continues to be a problem. They've tried condoms, switching positions, focusing on her (foreplay actually makes it MUCH worse). I know this isn't what you probably wanted to hear. But I'd see about getting some help outside of you two, maybe starting wtih a doctor.
We are having the same problem. I don't really say anything to him about it cause i don't want to make him feel bad. maybe ill try to suggest to him to masterbate a few hrs b4 sex.
He needs to focus on slowing his breathing. Thinking about "Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day" or whatever is totally ineffective. Instead, if he concentrates on slowing his breathing, he will delay the biological responses that come along with the quick pace and the heavy breathing. I know it doesn't sounds sexy, but if you can respectfully and gently coach him to breath in much the same way that we breather in yoga class...in for 3, out for 3, that may help.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 89 |
| beargoose | 54 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 51 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| akp0702 | 41 |
| ndreighton | 40 |
| stardustintheeyes | 36 |
| Beckster329 | 36 |
| MrsPom | 35 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| DevolSyawla | 2 |
| LibraryBlondie | 2 |
| strawbs | 2 |
| Gemstone | 1 |
| hotchildinthecity | 1 |
| Gabrielle123 | 1 |
| DeathByDesign | 1 |
| QuietOne | 1 |
| KristenGotMarried | 1 |
| Mrs. Chai | 1 |
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of "problem" but it's really and utterly annoying/upsetting sometimes.
I've known him since we both were in high school together and I've always overlooked this but now like I said up above that's happening.
To put it bluntly he can't last long, and the stopping and going isn't really helping much and now I'm making him feel bad because he caught me in the shower using some *ahem* toys and use it more often now. I don't know what to do if there's anything that I can do to help him.