(Closed) PROBLEMS WITH MOH, PLEASE HELP

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I feel like there’s not a great answer for you (I’m sorry). If she’s as controlling/selfish/bossy as you say, asking her to step down is NOT going to go over well-but at the same time, this is YOUR day. And things like this should be the last of your worries.

How would it go if you simply told her that you guys decided not to name any one person-that you would like her to stand next to you, but that your long distance friend has known you for a long time, the two of you are very close, and you feel inclined to have her give the toast?? (This is what we are doing, for several reasons-but at the end of the day, avoiding the drama was easiest if we just didn’t name a best man/moh. My fiance’s brother will be standing next to him, another groomsmen who is very close to both of us giving the toast. My side of the bridal party is a similar situation-I know who’s standing next to me, haven’t decided on the toast yet)

You could also consider having her SHARE moh with your long distance friend. That way you’re not “demoting” her, but you’re still including both of them, which makes sense since the long distance friend was the one you felt should be your MOH anyways.

Hope this helps!!

Post # 4
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@krrmee5:  If your FI says this is her normal attitude, and you’ve offered to help her find a babysitter and she rejected, I would continue to let her cease communication with you and look elsewhere for a MOH.

If she ever does establish contact again, I give her an “out” by saying you understand that the wedding may add stress to her life seeing as she does not want to leave her son to non-family memebrs and you understand if she needs to leave the bridal party.

It sounds passive-aggressive, but I would let her establish communication again. I would use this time to regroup, consider what you want for the wedding, and plan it with your FI

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