Problems with my immediate family, do I now just wash my hands of them?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ugh! What a family!

I’d walk myself down the aisle (or walk with FI!), demote your BM sister (I don’t think she’ll mind), send them an invite and treat them like any other guests.

Post # 4
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@sargz123:  Do i just send them all an invite and leave them out of the planning?

I chose this one.  Continue your planning as if they are regular guests and only allow them to be involved if they make an effort to be involved.  Otherwise it sounds like you are going to be stressed out trackign them down and arm wrestling them into doing stuff for your wedding.  I’m sorry you have to do that with your family but at least they’re not being overtly mean or negative about the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@sargz123:  Sounds like the relationship my DH has with his parents. They completely favor his sister and her husband, and we get reminded of this when we talk to them (which is rarely!)

Anyway, if I was in your shoes, I would plan the wedding without their help and treat them as guests. (Is your mom paying for the wedding? Bc then this will be difficult).  Walk down the aisle by yourself.  As for your sister, I would keep her as a bridesmaid – but demote her in your mind.  If she buys the dress, then she will be in the pictures and thats it. If she doesnt buy the bridesmaid dress, then she chose not to be a BM herself. Don’t get her a bridesmaid present, and don’t expect anything from her. 

Post # 6
Member
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

unbridesmaid her and just invite them as a guest

Post # 7
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Any updates?

Post # 8
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@sargz123:  I showed up late to my big sister’s engagement party, but that’s because I had to work when it first started. If your sister had to work then that’s one thing, but if she was 5 hours late just because then no, that’s not ok.

I would demote the sister and issue an invite to them like you would any other guest. Don’t involve them in anymore wedding conversation. And I would walk myself down the aisle or ask another male family member, like a Grandpa, to do it instead (unless you feel close enough to your bio dad to ask him).

For the record, I’m really sorry this is happening. Go do something nice for yourself to try and relax for a bit.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors