- 9 years ago
I am the last of three sisters to get married next year (yes, three. within 6 months) We are each our other sisters’ maids of honor, but I’m having a lot of trouble getting on the same page/getting along with them. I am the oldest, and was the one who wanted to get married the most – I’m not a spring chicken – and when they got engaged, it was really hard for me (and my FI who felt like there was then some sort of clock ticking for him to propose) FI and I got through it and are now thrilled to be engaged, but I haven’t completely recovered relationships with the rest of the family (I was called selfish for being upset and a fool for staying with my FI since everyone thought he was never going to propose – after just 2 years, mind you).
So, fast forward to getting engaged. I wanted to tell my sisters in person, and evidently handled it badly – I waited for them to notice the ring when we got together (the ring they had already seen because FI took them with him to initiate the purchase) and they didn’t say anything for like 10 minutes. I finally put my hand on my face, faking scratching an itch, and the response was, “Oh – I thought I saw something. Congratulations” And that was it. Then we started talking about another sister’s wedding.
They offered to throw the engagement party, and then didn’t follow up about a date until I asked. Then they put off ordering invitations until I brought it up. And then asked me if I could cut my guest list. The thing is, I did all of this for both of them – and wrangled our crazy family – right after they were engaged and I was so upset. And I did it with a smile.
I’ve mentioned to my FI how I feel like I can’t really count on them to be the kind of MOHs that I am for them – and I frankly want someone who is going to fuss over me when it’s my turn to be fussed over. He called my other BMs and told them what was happening, and they offered to my sisters to step in – and were rudely told that it was THEIR responsibility as MOHs. I just got into a fight with one about the other’s bachelorette party because she told the other bridesmaids what we had planned was too expensive. I offered to cover her part, and she and I just blew up at each other.
I’m not sure if I’m asking for advice or just venting here, but I don’t seem to have the support of my family, and I just don’t know how to handle it. Obviously, I can’t demote them (although I never formally asked themt o be MOHs) – they’re my sisters! I just wish I didn’t feel so hurt by them.