Post # 1
I’ve read up on wedding101 and have started pre-planning and researching ideas, venues etc. for our wedding next year. Both me and Fiance would prefer an “intimate” ceremony- which for us means close friends and family. That puts the A-list at around 100 people. I haven’t had a chance to talk budget with my parents, so I can’t say quite how much leeway we have.
In discussing the guest list with my Fiance, I realized that I had simply assumed we wouldn’t be doing +1s. I have girl cousins and bridesmaids who are single, as are his groomsmen. Fiance commented that he would like to let his friends have +1s. I said that I though the numbers were pretty even as they were, but that we could look into it once we started planning for real. I’m not fundamentally opposed, but I would like to keep the budget manageable.
I admit- my friends all know at least a few other girls I’m inviting and my cousins have family. One or two of his guys wouldn’t now anyone at the wedding. What are your opinions? Do you think +1s are essential? Would they make the wedding so much more fun for the people bringing a guest? Or are budgetary concerns valid?
Post # 3
I didn’t vote because there was no it depends.
+1s are not required by etiquette for anyone not married, engaged or living together. However I do think it is courteous to extend +1s to anyone who wouldn’t know anyone else there, and to out of town guests.
In my case we did +1s for the above listed and for the 3 or so friends that aren’t married or engaged. Only because it worked out easy enough for us, since there are so few singles. But no dates for cousins we barely see, etc.
Post # 4
I vote yes for plus 1’s.
I know the wedding is your day and your guests should be there for you, but they are supposed to have a great AMAZING time enjoying themselves too and truly enjoy the party you’ve worked so hard for.
Going alone, making small talk with strangers all night… doens’t exactly breed those reactions the majority of the time.
If you can, plus 1 is a wonderful thing.
Also, you may be the reason for your friends getting married in the future! Weddings are very romantic 🙂
Post # 5
I also didn’t vote because there was no “it depends”. We are extending +1s to all of our guests. For my side, it’s a destination wedding so they’ll be more than welcome to bring someone with them to enjoy peak color season in MI! We’re looking at about 175 invites, including all +1s.
Post # 6
Sorry, I also didn’t vote because I also think “it depends”. I am allowing a +1 for my birdal party (only 1 person is single out of the whole group, so I don’t want her to feel left out, and I will know the person she is bringing).
Other than that, there will be no +1, mainly because we are trying to keep our number low so we don’t go over budget. I have had to cut some people that I probably would have liked to invite if it was in the budget. So I don’t want to have other people bring +1 when I probably have never met them when I could be having people that I really want there. But I will warn you….this may cause “discussions”, especially if it family members that want to bring the +1 (cousins).
All the Best!!!
Post # 7
Our policy is that spouses and long term girlfriends/boyfriends were invited on the same invitation. Also, if someone goes out of their way to ask to bring a date, I’d probably let them. But we didn’t do any of that “and Guest” stuff.
Post # 8
I voted “no” because ALL my guests are *my* guests: I invite them by name, send them their own separate invitations if they live at different locations (or live at the same location but aren’t a social couple), and consider them welcome for their own sake. But I make a point of getting to know my guests personally, and inviting both members of any socially-acknowledged couple to any “couples” event — both as my guests, never as a nameless “plus-one” or as a guest-of-a-guest.