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Program Help--Groom's Father is a Widow and now has a serious girlfriend

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
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    Newbee
    s_looten    May 1, 2010   Lubbock, TX

    Long time luker--first time poster!

    I've searched the internets high and low but can't find any advice on this subject.

    My fiance's mother died in 1997 and after a few years his father started dating again. FFIL has since been with his current GF for about 8 years. GF is a nice, sweet, caring women--and is basically my FMIL for all intended purposes. Fiance and I spend holidays with FFIL and GF,have Sunday brunch together, etc. She is invovled in the wedding planning, we are inviting her family, she is sitting next to FFIL at the wedding and she will be in family portriats. (We're still having a memorial candle for his mother and mentioning her in the program)

    So my question is this--What do I call GF in the program? "Groom's father's girlfriend"? "Girlfriend of the father of the groom"? I'm not really gonna do that--but I am totally and utterly confused as to what to actually call her!?!?

    Any suggestions?? At all?? Anyone else have a similiar situation?

    Thanks in advance!!

     

     
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    Bumble bee
    GirlWithARing    September 5, 2010   Living in NYC, marrying in Philadelphia

    Tough one...maybe partner?

     
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    Buzzing bee
    mrskesslertobe    September 18, 2010  

    How about significant other

     
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    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    How does FFIL refer to her?  (or how does she refer to herself?)

    Since you guys are close, just ask them at the next brunch how they'd like to be addressed.

     

     
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    s_looten    May 1, 2010   Lubbock, TX

    GirlWithARing-That's an idea!

    mrskesslertobe--I like that idea, but I'm worried about how to word it--"Significant other of FFIL" As my program stands now, everyone is "....of (bride or groom)"

    oracle--We all just refer to her as "Ruth." Fiance is still a little touchy about the subject. Since his mother died when he was older he doesn't see GF as a motherly person. And I'd love to talk to them about it, but these sort of things are kinda awkward. Such is the life with two philosphy professors as in-laws. (And they're getting old and hard of hearing..they're both 70.)

    Thanks for all the suggestions!

     
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    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    I'm assuming you are listing them as they process, correct?

    What about putting:  Mr. John Smith, Father of the Groom, accompanied by: Miss Jane Doe.

    Or, if that formatting doesn't work, I'd just list her name - sans title.

    I don't think she needs a title - and, I agree with you, that GF isn't the way to go.

    You could also give her a title that FI would feel comfortable:  Honored Guest, Step-Mother at heart, Honorary Step Mother....

     
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    June Bug    June 5, 2010   Boulder, CO; McDonough, GA

    I like oracles ideas a lot! I was about to answer, but I think hers beats what I would have said :)

     
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    Buzzing bee
    skibobrown    July 31, 2010   CA (wedding in Bar Harbor, ME)

    Oooh... I like "accompanied by".  That's a good one.  I hadn't even thought about this, but my fiance's mom and dad are divorced and not remarried... but BOTH are in serious relationships.  So we are going to have the same wording problem for what to call their dates as well. 

     
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    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    Will the significant others feel slighted if they are left off the program?

     I ask b/c this is a situation that my SIL ran into when I was planning her wedding. She just mentioned married couples only.

    Another thing you can do is just put the significant other's name in parentheses beside the name of the "main person"

    Father of the Bride - John Doe (Mary Jane Doe)

    Mother of the Bride - Mama Jane Doe (BF Doe)

    etc...

     
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    Sugar bee
    GaBGal    September 25, 2010  

    I like the "accompanied by".

    I also suggest asking her. It seems that you have a closer relationship and that way, she knows you are taking her feelings into account!

     
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    s_looten    May 1, 2010   Lubbock, TX

    Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions!

    I am going to talk to her about it--but I feel a lot better bringing up the topic with possible options instead of just sitting and listen to crickets chirp.

     

    Thanks so much ya'll!

     
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