Progress! :)

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Helping pay towards your own ring?
    Do it! Sounds like a very sensible plan! Who cares what people think. : (38 votes)
    90 %
    What? That sounds like a stupid plan! If he loved you, he would pay. : (4 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    51 posts
    Worker bee

    I think it is fine as long as your SO is ok with it. Some men, not all, may find it very important that they provide the ring. They may even feel emasculated in some way if they feel that they cannot provide this symbol that has traditionally been given by men. However, other men are fine defying these traditional gender roles, and as long as you are sure that your SO is on board with this plan, I see nothing wrong with it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1241 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @MsBeer:  I offered to help pay for my ring although my SO has far more money than I do. I see it as an investment in our future, and if it’s something we both like, but it’s over the budget he is comfortable with, why shouldn’t I help? After all, it’s a symbol of *our* love and a commitment to *our* marriage. Why shouldn’t it be *our* ring?

    As for your mother…unless you are really honest with your family, simply don’t volunteer the information. If they ask, I wouldn’t lie, but most will assume that he paid for it on his own. There’s really no reason for anyone to ask such a crass question as to whom paid for what.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I have made a rather large contribution to my ring and I am very happy that I did it. I told SO to add to it whatever he would have paid in the first place. For me I not only wanted a nice ring;  I also didn’t really like or understand the idea of SO footing the entire bill for something that is supposed to represent an equal union. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1164 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Once I finally got my SO to admit a proposal would be soon, we started talking about rings. He was so happy for me to give him ideas about what I liked and give him my ring size so he doesn’t have to go investigating secretly. And while we have separate accounts, we’ve lived together for 2 1/2 years so we’ll be paying for the ring together. But unless someone asks, I’ll just let them assume he was just an amazing ring chooser and paid himself…although I don’t see anyone asking.

    Post # 8
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee

    I think it’s great That you’re willing to help finance it he ring. As long as he is okay with it too there’s no problem. Congratulations! 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1312 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    No flames from me!  I think it’s great that you’re willing to help pay for the ring and that your SO is ok with it.  Yes money isn’t everything but it is your ring and as long as SO is cool with it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I see nothing wrong with it! SO gave me a budget for the ring (we’re picking it out together), and I told him that if I fall in love with anything over budget, I’ll make up the difference. I ended up finding something well under budget, but if that didn’t happen, why should he have to pay more than he is comfortable with just because I want something more expensive? Also, if you have two people saving up, you can get the ring twice as fast!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1207 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I think this is great! I offered to do the same, but my SO won’t take the money from me because he’s stubborn and tries to be traditional whenever it suits him. What he might agree to instead is me paying the mortgage for a month or 2 so that he can pay for the ring. I like this plan so hopefully he’ll go for it. I say do what it takes to get the show on the road!

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