- 7 years ago
So for those of you keeping track (yes, I know you are all pining to stay updated on the minute details of my relationship), we may have made some sort of break-through during the Xmas holidays.
Quick review. Dating 3.5 yrs. Living together 3 yrs. SO travels M-F for work. Ages 31-32. Have dog together (well, 2 dogs…1 from my previous singletonness.) I’ve been “waiting” for years, and he’s been happily stuck in the status quo of “just dating”. After 2 years, he pulled the “I don’t know if you’re the one yet” card, and even after 3.25 yrs, he pulled the “I’m pretty sure” card. Oh, the romance and emotional availability of an auditor. He himself admits that he doesn’t like to disclose his emotions and sentiments, but gee honey, it’s called communication.
Around our 3rd anniv., I told him he had a year to sh!t or get off the pot. Around Tgiving, I told him it would be nice to get engaged by the end of 2010, but I knew there was no way in hell (since his reaction was “but that’s only a month away!) He knows the ring I want (he likes it too, and he can easily afford it), and all he has to do is ask my dad for my grandmother’s stone (which In My Humble Opinion takes more ba!!s than asking for my hand). So NYE came and went with no engagement.
But at least now he has admitted to me that he knows he wants to marry me. FINALLY, some form of long-term (i.e. lifetime) commitment! Up until now, it’s always been a sarcastic “maybe” and “if” and “we’ll see”.
Yes, it sucks that he travels for work all week. And in June, he’ll only be able to come home every OTHER weekend, rather than every weekend, FOR A YEAR! That will suck. I don’t want to be engaged, or married, by myself. So on one hand, I don’t really want to be engaged while he’s gone so much. But at my age, I can’t continue to put my life on hold for his job (that is not his intended long-term profession).
So now that “if” has turned into “when”…now that he “knows” I’m the one (he has probably known for a long time, but just wasn’t ready for marriage generally)….his latest excuse is, “I’m just hesitant to propose b/c I know that once I do, it will start the whole process which will ultimately require me to spend thousands of dollars on a rehearsal dinner.” It’s not that he doesn’t have the money… he does. I’ve paid all the bills for years and put a roof over his head so that he could save, since he is admittedly the cheapest man on the planet. I’ve told him that we don’t have to do something elaborate for a rehearsal dinner…BBQ is fine. I’ve told him that it’s not my fault that he has a big family. I’ve told him that it irks me to hear that since I’m the one who allowed him to save for the past 3 years. And I’ve reminded him that, it doesn’t matter WHEN we get engaged, a wedding is eventually going to come and it’s going to entail spending money (and no, we’re not having a big expensive wedding…and my parents and I are going to be funding 95% of it anyway). So just delaying the engagement (and causing me more grief) isn’t going to avoid that.
So ugh…..just venting. Men are a pain in the butt, but at least mine has finally been able to admit out loud that he’s going to marry me.