Post # 1
So I am only 17 but I am crazy in love with my man. He has asked me what my thoughts are on him getting me a promise ring. I am 100% positive that he is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. I am ready for the commitment, but I dont know if he is ready or if he knows what he is asking of himself… What should I do?
Post # 3
I got my promise ring at 17, engaged at 19. I’m going to be wearing my promise ring as my wedding band. I would just have a conversation with him about the future, where you see yourselves, etc. Yes it’s young, but it happens and if you guys feel a promise ring is a good idea then go for it!
Post # 4
To @thatonegirlwhohassomequestions: First and foremost, I see this is your DEBUT post on WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”
You sound like a wise and reasonable girl… in that you aren’t all ga-ga about the prospect of getting a ring and asking the important Questions
1- What does this mean ?
2- And can he possibly be ready to make such a big commitment ?
The truth is ONLY you know your guy.
But the truth is (as any man will tell you) in their teens (and sometimes beyond) men are very focussed on sex… and getting as much as they can
And if that means making promises to make it happen, or happen more often, many times they are not above that.
So I’d continue to go on in this relationship with your eyes open
Only you can know how much of a commitment YOU are also willing to make to this relationship
If you feel that a Promise Ring might be too much for now… you can tell him that.
If he was looking to give you this for Christmas, you could suggest some other nice piece of jewellery that isn’t as expensive, but you would cherish. Then maybe move up to the Promise Ring in the future.
Hope this helps,
Post # 5
Post # 6
I’ve known a few couples who met in high school and got married right after they finished college. They are still happily married. At the same time, I’d feel bad not sharing my own story. I dated a guy in high school pretty seriously for a few years. At the time, I genuinely believed that I was in love with him and that he was the guy for me. He was a little older than me and broke up with me after doing long-distance for a year because he was away at college and he wanted to “see other people.” At the time it really hurt, but I’m so incredibly happy that we didn’t end up together. Hindsight is 20/20. Looking back I realize that there were so many things that were not healthy about our relationship and how he was not as respectful toward me as he should have been. I really believe that you need to date quite a few people so that way when you do meet the man you are meant to marry, you know without a doubt that he is the one.
My advice for you moving forward is to really consider what a promise ring means. You’re probably too young to have ever watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but she has this speech where she explains that she is like cookie dough- not finished baking and becoming whoever it is that she is going to be. For that reason, she decides not to be with either of the men she is interested in. You are cookie dough- about to go to college probably and take on life as an adult. You have so many things left to experience before you find yourself in a lifelong committment.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
@thatonegirlwhohassomequestions: I’ve had 3 promise rings from 3 different boyfriends. You can get a promise ring all you want, that doesn’t mean the relationship will necessarily last. This isn’t saying yours won’t. Hell, yours has as good of a chance as any relationship. I just don’t want you to have unrealistic expectations about it, it’s not the same as an engagement ring. Though, those aren’t a guarantee either. I don’t think it’s necessarily a good idea or a bad idea. It’s just an idea.
Post # 8
If the promise ring means you’re going to wait at least 5 more years until he gives you an engagement rings, I approve 🙂 People can change drastically between 17 and 25, you might grow together or you might grow apart- just please give yourself time to find out!
Post # 9
I was given a promise ring at 17 and engaged at 18, will be married at 20. My now fiancé has always been very different from any guy I’ve evee met. He’s just a really genuinely great guy with a level head. We were ready and we knew it, so for is it was a good idea.
My sister on the other hand, got a promise ring in high school and they didn’t last.
However, if having a promise ring is something you currently want, you should do it. There’s no reason to not! 🙂
Post # 10
@thatonegirlwhohassomequestions: I don’t think it sounds like a getting or not getting a promise ring is really your main question. Rather you are wondering if he really understands the commitment of marriage and what you see for your relationship. I think the best thing for that is just to continue communicating. Talk about the hard things, how you will handle, x,yz. Distance, job loss, poverty, sickness, children/no children, unable to have children, career goals, life goals, ect.
Honestly, I don’t think you need a promise ring to show that you are “promised” to someone. You are young and have so much growing and learning. Also, im sure it is money he needs to be saving now. If he is really exicted about getting you a ring – why doesnt that money be the start to your engagement ring savings fund. I’d rather the money go towards something ill wear for a lifetime than something to just wear “until then.”
Don’t rush anything. Just keep talking, breathe and enjoy your life and time together. Learn as much as you can about you, about him and just about life in general. Things have a way of working out when they should. The more you try and plan them or force them – the less they come out to be the way you want. 😛
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
I had a promise ring from a oreviius bf , i didn’t think it as serious as an engagement ring-still don’t . I see a promise ring as “I want to be with you and maybe marry you ” so go for it. Everything goes well maybe e ring next 😉