Post # 1
I have set up a bit of poll here, but a friend at work just got engaged.
He proposed at home, in front of the TV, didnt get down on one knee, no flowers, no cooking dinner, no “i love you this much” speech, no ring – to me this equals NO EFFORT at all?
I think a proposal in your own home can be the most sweetest, romantic thing, if there is effort – a bunch of flowers, a nice meal, most importantly good conversation! She wasnt even watching the TV, she was on her laptop working and actually didnt hear him the first time and said “what?”
I completely understand that guys may not know what to get, the girl wants to help choose the ring, etc. However, she is now ring shopping ON HER OWN…. because he is “over it” after an hour in 1 jewellery shop?
I obviously havent said anything to them, but am i being a bit nieve to think that i would at least want SOME forethought before proposing, rather than, “oh look NCIS is on, and by the way will you marry me?”
Post # 3
Maybe he was just so nervous that’s all he could do.. did he propose without the ring or with a ring?
Post # 4
personally i feel sorry for guys – some of the womens expectations out there are huge and i think some women need to get a grip
technically i havent been proposed to although we are now married – lets just say its R-rated but i find it a funny story and i dont sit at home resentful that he didnt get on bended knee, flowers and orchestra ect
Post # 5
Well I think it is super situation-specific. If he proposed with some comment about how he just couldn’t wait one minute longer, that is kind of sweet. Like he was so overcome at even such a mundane moment he couldn’t stand to not ask her.
The not wanting to ring shop is kind of suspect though. Could go either way :/
Post # 6
My fiance proposed at my house. I was living with my parents. He came over under the pretense of taking me out and just asked me in my kitchen. I thought it was perfect. He is usually such a ham and has to be the center of attention, so I was worried that he would do something over-the-top and impersonal. In the end, he said that at the end of the day, we are low-key people and we should have a low-key proposal. I loved it.
But at least it was sort of thought out. I think a ring is a nice gesture. Knowing that your guy planned something feels really good.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
My fiance proposed to me when we were in bed. None of the stuff you mentioned were present.
Some people just don’t go for that stuff 🙂
Post # 8
My fiance knelt beside the bed with the ring and then climbed into bed with me afterwards. No flowers and I think we went to Burger King afterwards
Post # 9
my FI didn’t make a big deal of it, but he did go ring-shopping and picked me the best ring ever, and waited until we went on a cruise mini-vacation to find the perfect moment…so really, it was low key but perfect. every couple is different, but i think a little effort is nice =D
Post # 10
We were just hanging out on our couch when my husband asked me to marry him. We bought the ring together, and when the sales lady gave us the ring I put it on. It was absolutely perfect for us. Have you talked to your fiance about this?
Post # 11
@crebre80 – no ring?
Thanks guys for the opposing view…
I just feel bad for her because she is so embarrased that she is shopping for her own ring she isnt telling anyone she is engaged!
Post # 12
The fact that he didn’t even bother to stop her from working on her laptop before asking, didn’t make any other speech and isn’t helping her shop for a ring is really, really not cool.
Does he think marriage is easy? It’s gonna be work too, especially if you thought the PROPOSAL was work!
Post # 13
Normally I’d say that an at home proposal is totally sweet and completely what I want, but the fact that she’s ring shopping by HERSELF and that he’s over in an hour is completely and totally not sitting well with me. This should be really special to both of them and the fact that he can’t even make himself go with her for that… it bothers me.
Post # 14
although my then FI was part of the ring shopping – when it come to any other purchase hes like “you do the ground work and tell me when you have the final 3”
i know my new curtains is different to someones e-ring but thats what i did, i searched and researched and eventually i took him to the store and said what about these and he said yep – maybe your friends FI is like this?
Post # 15
My fiance proposed at home – in bed, also. On valentines day. After a day of breakfast in bed, a surprise massage at a spa, lunch, choc. covered strawberries, champagne.
I can’t imagine having the t.v. on or being in front of a computer. I know a lot of huys aren’t into planning all the romantic stuff, but he could’ve done something.
Post # 16
I think its a total cop-out. Something similar happened to my friend, but she didnt really seem to mind. I, on the other hand was really sad that he didnt put forth the effort to show her how much she really means to him.
To me, its not so much receiving flowers or candy, but knowing that he took the time to plan something really special out for such an important time in my life.
I would have kindly asked him to try again! lol