(Closed) Proposal Coupled With Unfortunate Events

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Let me begin by saying I am so sorry for your loss. I empathize with your situation. Shortly after I became engaged my mom was dianosed with two chronic illnesses, which required quite a bit of hospitaliization. The first hospitalization was about 5 weeks total with 3 weeks in a hospital, that was 2 hours away. My two younger brothers were both still in school (the youngest was in first and the older was a sophmore in high school). I left school to come home and take care of the boys and my dad stayed with my mom. After my mom would go into the hospital every couple months for 10-14 days at a time. Now almost five years later the hospital stays are only a few days long and have much longer streches in between. My dad and my mom have learned how to control and treat her symptomns at home. So here we are 4 1/2 years after our engagement, finally planning our wedding. My life and feelings are so different now than when I first got engaged. Although this was the most difficult time in my life, but I also grew so much and my relationship with my fiance changed. I know this time should be the most wonderful time in your life, but it’s not and it’s okay. Everything will be okay. Your wedding will be perfect when you have it and your relationship with your fiance will be stronger than you ever imagine. When tragedy strikes you look to the ones closest to you to be your rock and no one will be a bigger rock than your fiance. This is how I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that no matter what happened in our lives my fiance would always be my rock. As he has been as I dealt with the ongoing illness of my mom. This may not be what you imagined for your engagement, but you will be a stronger person because of it.

Post # 4
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I am so sorry you are going through all of these things at once!  I had a similar experience as well, my mom is coming out of her treatment for breast cancer and my grandmother just got diagnosed with bone cancer, thought not as close to my engagement as yours was.  I don’t know if you’re a religious person but when I read your message, I felt the engagement was God providing you with a physical representation that you are not alone during all of these hard times you are having and someone will always be there for you.  

Post # 6
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Pink Elephant- I can relate to your post and I feel so much empathy for you right now. I found out I was being let go from my job and that my fiance’s dad had leukemia three hours before we got engaged. It took me a few months to feel genuinely excited about being engaged. I even had a hard time focusing on the proposal as it was happening. I was nervous about losing my job and benefits because I have a few longterm health issues and terrified that my fiance was going to lose his dad.

It’s a lot of emotions to process at once, especially the loss of your grandfather. Your engagement is the one extremely happy thing in all the events that are happening in your life right now. I would focus on the fact that someone loves you so dearly. It’s truly a blessing and I wish you the best!

Post # 7
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was told of my dads passing half an hr before I got my ring.

I keep thinking ” I want a do over for my proposal” but this may make my fiancé upset

Now 4 months later we still haven’t had an engagement party, but I know we will organize one once the grieving becomes easier.

You can ‘announce’ ur engagement when u r ready

Xx

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