Proposal most likely longer away than I originally thought :(

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Evanstobe:  It’s gonna be ok! We first went ring shopping in March and he was supposed to propose by end of the summer. I had picked out the ring. Then come summer time, he got pretty busy with interviews for a new job, then transitioning to said job. So he didn’t actually go buy the ring until like a few weeks ago. I was understanding about everything. Life happens but as long as you’re still on the same page about getting engaged and married, have faith that your man will make it happen.

Post # 5
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I could understand your situation alittle bit, me and my SO also went ring shopping back in March of this year ( so I thought it sould be happening in a few months) and recent events occured ( him looking for a house) and now I know I will be waititng longer for a proposal, which Iam okay with but before he started his house hunting I felt like you did, where I was thinking why did we go ring shopping if nothing was going to happen for while but things come up in life and I know he would want to get the house first ( which is what he told me, then he will propose) and be able to provide us a home. Im sure everything with your SO will turn out all right in the end and that he will propose to you and he is probably still wanting that to happen and it is going to be great! Just enjoy your relationship with your SO, it will happen [:

Post # 6
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry for your delay.  I know it’s frustrating.  My SO’s also an engineer, trying to finish his phd and get a job, THEN maybe we can worry about getting engaged.  When we first started dating I talked timelines, where I was at in my life, and (politely) said DON’T WASTE MY TIME.  Thought an engagement would have been here by now and guess what!?!?  It’s probably a good year and a half away.

So heartbreaking.

Good news though, it’s not the end of the world.  Sometimes it just takes a little bit more time to get what we want, but it will be worth the wait.  Keep your head up and just focus on doing things that make you happy, and your time will come.

Good Luck!

Post # 7
3268 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Evanstobe:  Blargh, that sucks. 

A lot of guys wait a while to propose after buying the ring.

I found out (by snooping, bad me) that my SO purchased a ring in July, I think hoping to have it finished and sent to him by late August, when we went on a vacation before I had to start grad school up again. I think what happened was that it didn’t arrive in time (it is custom made), and now he is waiting for something else to happen– probably my classes finishing and me moving home again, which is happening in mid-December. So you are not alone in knowing the ring is around but having to wait until late in the year, or maybe sometime next year, for being engaged.

I don’t let it bother me too much. I know he has the ring, and I’m pretty sure I know why it hasn’t happened yet– and it sounds like your situation is similar. Probably nothing to worry about!

Are you in the Shut-it-Up Pact? That helps with the keeping quiet. 🙂

Post # 8
1235 posts
Bumble bee

It’ll help if you don’t mention engagements and just support him like I know you will! And really, I know this is no consolation right now.. But I wish I could go back to those waiting days because it’ll make you appreciate the day he proposes even more! I know it’ll happen to you soon!!! Cheers!

Post # 10
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@Evanstobe:  we’re in this together! we went shopping around the same time, but my boyfriens won’t even have my ring until December 1st. 🙁

Post # 11
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Guys are different than women by nature.

When a Man makes up his mind to get married, he often wants it to happen IMMEDIATELY (Propsoal & Wedding… bang-bang)

In reality, when they going looking at rings they are usually floored by what an ERing typically costs

Particularly so if they are looking at a Diamond(s)

Men usually want their Proposal / Ring for the Girl to be special…

So when they finally discover what one costs, they can get quite intimidated

As women we can “step in” and say… “Hey it doesn’t matter, I just want to be married”

BUT ultimately Men don’t want to hear that… they want what they want

(We have to remember that a Wedding for us is usually about a “vision” we’ve had for a long time… a wish, a hope, a dream come true.  Same for a Guy and his Proposal)

In the end it is best to just go with the flow once they’ve clearly expressed that a Proposal / Ring is coming (more so if you’ve gone looking together)

More than likely he’s

(a) Saving up for a BEAUTIFUL Ring he’s chosen for you


(b) He has bought The Ring and is now planning some sort of special Proposal


You really need to respect that, and give him his space

I suggest in the meantime, you read up and follow Mr Bee’s Plan for Waiting

Hope this helps,

PS… The Proposal is coming.  Believe it.  There is relief in that.  Now Breathe, and embrace this time in your Relationship… don’t miss today by being too focused on tomorrow.  Tomorrow will come in due course.  (( HUGS ))


Post # 12
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Evanstobe:  I feel your pain. We went ring shopping in February, and still nothing. But he is working at a job that is 100% hates right now, and says he doesn’t want to start our family off on a bad foot. He’s been looking really hard, but no luck on a new job yet. So I’ll probably be waiting for who knows how long. It’s been sucky waiting since I just want to be MARRIED already (we already own a house together!), but I am trying to not push anything and just enjoy life and him. 


Post # 13
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Evanstobe:  Yes it is great to know you have other people who know what you are going through and could provide comfort, it is really helpful. Yeah, getting a house together is exciting and thank you! [; That is great that you are enjoying your realtionship and I could imagine trying not to stress out with the wedding planning. I wish you all the best with the wedding planning though [;

Post # 14
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Evanstobe:  hello there! I just want to put this idea out there…but if he’s suddenly working long hours, who’s to say he’s not doing the OT in order to bring in extra money to pay for the ring? Mine is doing lots of OT and has been making payments since June. So, you never know..there might be a surprise coming your way sooner than you think 🙂

Post # 15
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I know that must be super diasappointing! However, just think about the fact that he is waiting until the right time for the both of you. I don’t think you’d want him to propose when he is too busy to put in the effort to plan your “perfect” proposal or to contribute to the wedding planning process. At least you know he is totally on board since he has been ring shopping with you and you all have agreed on the ring. And to spin things towards the positive light… it’s already the middle of October so the end of the year will be here before you know it!

My SO is an engineer also and sometimes he is so crazy busy at work that I think he forgets that I exist… it doesn’t help that we’re long distance and 3 time zones apart, either. 

Post # 16
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sorry for the delay… But I’m sure it will be worth it! No one wants a crany, stressed-out new FI (!!!) with no free time to gush over pretty things in wedding magazines!

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