Proposal rant (long)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
687 posts
Busy bee

If he didn’t want to marry you, he wouldn’t have proposed. That’s the bottom line right there. 

Feeling guilt or pressure from his mom may have been a smaller reason behind it, but it’s not the most important one. We all get guilted and pressured by our parents about things 🙂 The mom thing would not have driven him to propose if he didn’t already want to do it himself though. 

Post # 4
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Rethinking:  I think he was just being honest. It sounds like no matter what, he would have proposed, but it seemed like the right time for multiple reasons including to patch up the fight and enable good feelings. I’d let this one go and enjoy being engaged!

Post # 5
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Rethinking:  I can understand why you are hurt because I am sure that I would have been upset as well. However, marriage is a life long commitment and he decided that he wants to go down this path with Y-O-U. Maybe tell him you felt hurt because I am sure he would explain a bit more and make things a bit better. He must love you and was probably planning on proposing anyway but out of fear of losing you thought he needed to do it sooner than later. Best of luck dear and I hope you feel better soon! 

-don’t let it get you too down in the dumps! 

Post # 7
Member
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Rethinking:  I have no doubt that my FI felt a little bit of pressure to propose. He knew I wanted to get engaged and all of his mates had been making comments for months like “marry that girl already” and “if you don’t hurry up I’m going to ask her out”. However, our FIs would not have proposed out of guilt alone. Marriage is a serious commitment and not one you enter into just because other people are telling you to!

This sounds like a classic ‘foot in mouth’ situation. He told you *one* reason for his proposal. He just assumed you’d know all the other reasons, like that he loves you and wants to be with you. However, while men often assume we know how they feel about us, sometimes we just need to HEAR it! You’re not being irrational, it just sounds like a misunderstanding.

Post # 8
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

Just have a heart to heart talk with him about how you’re feeling about what he said.  That way you can get it out in the open and not harbor these feelings or questions you have about the proposal.  This is actually a great opportunity to communicate openly with your partner about your feelings and when he tells you where he’s coming from, it will bring you closer and feel more bonded about it all  🙂  I think this can actually turn into a very positive experience.  Good luck and congratulations!

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