Post # 1
Just wondering how many other bees out there have proposal regrets? My regret is all at myself. My SO and I have been together for 8.5 years now ( 8 when the engagement happened). And to say I was getting a bit naggy may be a bit of an understatement. The proposal was amazing, the ring is even more amazing. Just to give you all an idea – gorgeous sunny day on top of a mountain ( it doesn’t get any better, right?). Well there’s the problem. I can’t believe my reaction. ( To be fair I had just had a panic attack about 1/2 hr later, so I wasn’t really myself). I just sat there staring at him and then all I could think about was – how can he put the ring on when I am wearing gloves. I guess I was just surprised and in shock. I always thought I would jump into his arms and cry ( I cry at EVERYTHING) but I didn’t. And then by the time it really hit me we were back with the group of people we were with and well my SO is NOT into PDA of any kind so I couldn’t really even show him how I felt. I know he feels like he screwed up and I have tried explaining and I guess it will come with time.
So any other bees have similar stories?
Post # 3
It’s really not that serious. I’m sure you have shown him how much you’re excited to be his future wife. Women’s reaction does not have to be what we see in Hollywood; everyone reacts differentrently. You don’t have to cry. Don’t ponder on the should have, could have, would have and just move on from there with no regrets. The proposal was still beautiful.
Post # 4
Mine is I thought I’d have amazing pictures but didn’t realize I have Kim Kardashian’s ugly cry face, but I was so happy that I started to cry.
I also wish I remember saying yes. I was so surprised at the whole thing, but FI says I did say yes. 😀
Post # 5
I feel you there, I don’t necessarily “regret” my reaction, but I am still surprised how underwhelming my reaction was. As we were out for dinner on our vacation to Vancouver, BC, my FI became really quiet and fidgety, not at all like himself. I, ofcourse, clued in to what was happening and excused myself to the bathroom to try and calm my nerves/excitement a bit so I wouldn’t rush him into the moment. When he put the ring on the table infront of me and asked me to marry him, I smiled,very calmly that “yes, I would love to”. And then dinner kind of went on as per usual… our server didn’t even realise it had happened! Like, ThisGal said, I think we all expect to have the hollywood moment after the ring comes out, and sometimes it’s just not how our bodies handle the excitement and shock! 🙂 It was still a beautiful day and evening!
Post # 6
@ThisGal: I just feel bad making him feel like it wasn’t good enough. 🙁
@Redroc_13: I totally agree – we expect this big reaction and now I’m just sad I didn’t give him that. I sure cried later that night/the next morning when it really sank. I can’t believe I am going to finally get to marry my best friend and the love of my life. Our night was pretty similar to yours – we just went for supper with friends and it was like any other night.
@asianbarbie: Haha, guess I am lucky that we were able to take some nice pictures on the top of the mountain. I am sure you did say yes 🙂
Post # 7
I knew mine was coming and so I had rehearsed my reaction in my head beforehand.
So, when he asked, and I answered (“Abso-freaking-lutely!!”) it felt a little rehearsed. HE had no way of knowing that and was a huge bundle of happy. But I felt a little bummed that I’d taken some of the surprise away from myself.
I did that because I knew I’d lose my sh*t and freak OUT and say something completely incoherant, if I hadn’t come up with an answer before. 😛
Post # 8
@sbruin99: When my FI proposed, I was so shocked (even though I thought and hoped it would be coming soon) that instead of saying “yes!” I said “sure.” Haha who says sure?? I just couldn’t believe it was happening at that moment and I was at a loss of words. I immediately followed it with “I mean of course!” but I sure felt a little dumb. Just tell him the shock made you fumble for the right words.
Does he seem upset at your reaction? Or is this more you feeling guilty? Try not to make it into something it isn’t.
Post # 9
@kb7: oh gosh, I needed this. I feel better knowing I wasn’t the only one. I feel very guilty, he has told me he felt hurt. He knows my personality and how I cry at the smallest thing so I know he is doubted my happiness because I didn’t cry. We are slowly getting over it, I just try to tell him at every chance how much I can’t wait until we get married. ” Sure” still beats “but I have gloves on….” lol
Post # 10
@sbruin99: you sound so similar to me. I cry randomly at just about anything, as an anxious person every emotion seems to come out as tears. Except ‘excitement’- that comes out as awkward mind blank/freezing up. I went on and on about getting engaged and expected to be a bawling mess, but when he sat me down while on a walk with our dog and proceeded to do the whole one-knee business, all I could say was ‘ what are you doing, stop it, people are watching’, and other babble I can’t remember. Then I just went quiet and hugged him for a really long time.
Starting to let myself get excited now though… 56 days!
Post # 11
My husband had planned to take me on a tandem skydive (he jumps professionally) and propose mid-air…I ruined it by refusing to go on the skydive since I had NO idea and am scared of heights lol. He proposed in the backseat of a car instead while we were on a roadtrip through the middle of nowhere in the southwest. But you know what? It was still perfect. Because I get to spend the rest of my life with the man I’m crazy about. Was it the youtube worthy huge event he planned? Not at all! But it was still so special. I think often there is this huge build up for what a proposal “should” be instead of just appreciating that the man you love wants you to be his wife 🙂
Post # 12
It’s a story that you’ll laugh about soon enough.
I kinda regret mine at my own fault. Earlier that day when we were going for a walk around the neighborhood I “had” to bring up the topic, for the billionth time! I don’t know if I ruined it, and maybe I even put it in his head. But I still feel like an idiot when I tell the story. It was spontaneous in our living room, but I didn’t even know for sure that he had the ring.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t say I have regret, but for some reason my reaction (even though I could tell it was coming and had been expecting is for over a week!) was to say “Seriously?” “Really?” and “Are you serious?” about 5 times. And not in a mocking way at all; it was in a completely sincere way. FI was like “Why would I be joking about this?!?”
I didn’t cry, which I 100% thought I would since I cry even when people get engaged in cheesy commercials, and it didn’t fully hit me that we were engaged until friends started texting me back to congratulate us.
The absolute only thing I would change is that we have no pictures of him asking, but he’s the type of person who wanted to propose in private with no one else able to see us, so I understand. We took some selfies right after.
Post # 14
I’m a crier, and I didn’t cry at all (not even later when it sank in). I was super happy/excited/surprised/relieved, but I was so much more composed than I would ever have expected. So you really can’t predict how you’ll react, it’s not really under your control, and so you shouldn’t feel as if you’ve done something wrong! Especially when you’re dealing with the physical/mental stress of climbing a mountain!
Post # 15
No need to have regret. You expressed what you felt in that moment. You have a lifetime to show him how much you obverse and appreciate him & the ring. Move forward planning your wedding and creating memories with the man you love!