Proposal ruined? Or just over-reacting…

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

First off, CONGRATULATIONS!! Secondly, I’d be mad at my mom if she did that to me. Did you tell her you didn’t want to know? Did you let your FI know that she was dropping not-so-subtle hints back when it first started? Maybe he didn’t realize she’d be relaying the information to you. I don’t know what she was thinking that doing so would be ok.

Post # 4
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  +1

I would have told her to shut up the first time. But you are engaged! That is all that matters! Welcome to the bee!

Trying to see the positive – knowing that it was going to happen probably means you had your nails done and can share some awesome ring pics!

Post # 5
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Congrats on your engagement!

Second… Sorry your mother ruined it for you. :/ It doesn’t sound like an issue with a proposal so much as an issue with your mother. She obviously has some issues with boundaries. Have you tried speaking with her about it? If you have, maybe it’s time to get a bit… less passive? I’m not sure your relationship with your mother. I know with mine, I tell her if she’s bugging me or if I don’t want to know, but from seeing a lot of close friends… well, they let their mother’s have a lot of lee-way. If that’s you, cut it out. I know it’s easy to be all, “Oh, but it’s my mother!” but the thing is, your mother is a person, and you don’t have to like her or what she does. If she’s stepping on toes, you need to let her know… and it sounds like she’s stepped on more than a couple toes. 

Soooo… talk to your mom. Don’t let her run your life. Let her know to butt out of you FI’s business, and if she tries to give you too many details about any surprise, cut her off quick and let her know it’s not cool. I’m sorry your mom is pulling this stuff. I hope it gets better, but congrats again on your engagement!

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