Proposal surprise or agreement?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Miss_to_missus:  I think it’s that bit of fairytale that many people, both mean and women, want.  For me, it was a lot of discussion and agreement that now was the time, and we were ready to move forward as man and wife, and then we ALSO agreed that we wanted a romantic surpise proposal.  So, yes.  I knew what was coming.  I even knew that morning, that cleeeearly, it was happening that night (he’s such a dear, but no sneak!) but I got my (and he got his) sweet, romantic, jittery proposal moment.  As practical as we both are, we also wanted that sunset-lit moment on one knee.  So…does that answer your question a little? 🙂

Post # 4
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I had a surprise proposal. It wasn’t a conscious decision that I had to have a surprise proposal. It just happened that way. Through our relationship, we’ve had talks about marriage and what we want out if life. But we never had the specific talk about getting engaged. And I was never really waiting. I knew I wanted to marry him about 12 months into dating but I was never at the point where I felt like he needed to ask. I was happy with where we were. I knew he wanted to marry me about 18 months into dating as he told me he was going to move 6 hours from his family, friends, and job he’s been at for 20 years in order to be with me. That was commitment enough for me. I thought he would ask after he moved here and we had lived together first, so it was unexpected since he asked before moving here. Sometimes things just happen the way they are supposed to and it’s still a surprise. 

Post # 5
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think almost every girl wants that surprise romantic out of the world proposal, myself included. Instead we just talked about getting married, somehow ended buying a ring when we weren’t specifically ring shipping, and then he sort of asked me to marry him after he picked up the ring. Haha, not the most romantic way of doing it and I tease him about it. He’s not that kind of guy who plans elaborate proposals, he’s simple but I’m ok about that. 

Post # 6
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Miss_to_missus:  I had a surprise proposal, we both knew we wanted to be with eachother, we were living together and fully commited. In saying that there was no rush to get engaged or married but he proposed after 6 months of dating and we got married a year and a few months after. It was a beautiful proposal in my eyes because of how intimate it was but from the sounds of it lots of Bees would have hated it. I was in an old tshirt of his and he got me to sit on the edge of the bed and he got down on one knee.

Post # 7
Member
592 posts
Busy bee

I’ll be having a surprise agreement engagement…

Which tbh I think a majority of the ladies here had/will have. Me and my SO have talked about being married and know we want to be together. But SO is traditional in the proposal sense. He says its ‘his’ thing that he needs to do.

Drives me nuts. I’m a minor control freak and have a hard time coping with an aspect of my life being out of my hands, I just tell myself he’s breaking me in for children, since there’s nothing healthy about having total control permanently over a child’s life, lol. 

SO is on lockdown. I’m a hawk when it comes to these things, nothing gets past me. I’m that annoying person who always know who the killer is on TV shows or movies after watching like 10 minutes. SO always yells ‘No! No spoilers! Don’t tell me!’ So when I went fishing for hints the first time he looked at me, was quiet for a second then said ‘No! No spoilers!’ Lol

Post # 8
Member
6 posts
Newbee

Part of me feels like I bring it up more than he does, and I don’t want to feel like I’m pessuring him. The last step is all up to him. 

Post # 9
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@Miss_to_missus:  I’m still waiting but for us it was an active agreement to plan to get engaged. So I knew about it all along but still get my proposal moment. 

I agree it’s somewhat the “fairytale” thing. But personally I won’t feel like it’s official until he does the proposal. He wants to do it because he feels this is his moment to plan and be romantic whereas I have the wedding. You know, he wants the opportunity to have his “thing”? Haha 

Post # 10
Member
326 posts
Helper bee

My fiance and I agreed. We both knew what we wanted out of the relationship, and were engaged for a year before we actually got officially engaged to where we announced it formally. But to us and quite a few people we were engaged. 

Post # 11
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Alexander Homestead

@MsChandler:  Honestly, that sounds like one of the sweetest proposal stories ever! Smile

Post # 12
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Alexander Homestead

@southsun:  We sound SO much alike, Southsun! Smile

I, too, have an SO who really wants to do something special for a proposal because he feels that is His moment to shine and a guy’s responsibility to have a plan and execute it.  I am fine with a simple, at home, middle of the week “Will you marry me?” moment but not SO. I do recognize how very sweet and cute it is that he has a dream of how he would like the moment to play out. He’s never proposed before, been married before, heck never been in love like this before enough to ask someone to marry him so this is his moment that every boy dreams of I guess (dreamy romantic boys that is). So I can’t take that moment from him.  Hence my waiting game began since he made it clear that he intended to propose “according to his plan.”  I am guessing Valentine’s Day will be it but I am really going off of vague clues and taking a shot in the dark. Hope my gut is telling me right!

Post # 13
Member
592 posts
Busy bee

@ComputerLove06:  haha yeah sounds like me! Boys are so cute when they do that. I remember it was a year ago, me and my SO were on the couch one cold afternoon and he randomly said, ‘You know I thought of this idea for a proposal blah blah blah'(I can’t even remember what it was he said now, lol) Which totally surprised me. I was stupified he’d been so randomly forthcoming I just said something generic like ‘Oh that’s nice.’ And I think I answered wrong XD. Ever since then he is ANTI tell me any hints or clues. I don’t even have a timeline idea really. He keeps ambiguously pushing the timeline start date and all I have is an end date. So I kinda made my own hintless bed I guess! Fingers crossed for your vday proposal! Your man will get his moment to shine and you’ll get some sparkle, sparkle and shine! Lol. 

Post # 14
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I had a surprise, a true one 

SO had always said he didnt want to get married and that was it. I knew that and was actually okay with it. We were going to be together and having kids was never in doubt so it was fine.

So the proposal was a complete surprise – to everyone most of all me

Post # 15
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We just kind of agreed. We knew we would get married one day and I just looked at him one night and said, “So, are we doing this thing or what?” His response? “Sure” lol. I think a surprise proposal would have been fun, but unrealistic in my relationship. SO is not like that at all. 

Post # 16
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

@Miss_to_missus:  

Happy discussion/agreement bee here! It would have been the worst kind of amatuer hour acting if we’d tried to enact some sort of scene from a film, and basically that’s what all proposals seem like to us—like it’s some bizarre, senseless ritual of an alien race. No judgement. I’m 100% in support of what makes people happy, just saying I managed to find another humanoid who also ‘no comprendo’ the whole, symbolic exercise. Huzzah!

 

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