Mr TTR and I dated for 7 years before we were married. We are both Encores, and had suffered thru horrible divorces so we were very much gun-shy… literally wondering if we’d ever find love again when we met… let alone think marriage.
Altho we did talk about it early on in our relationship when we were getting to know each other. I asked him… “Would you ever marry again”… and he said… “It would have to be a really special girl”
When he asked me the same “What about you”… I said “Ya special indeed… not sure I could go thru that again, my trust has truly been shaken”
Fast forward 6 years… and I was very very sure that I knew this man 100%, he NEVER EVER made me feel awful about me (which my Ex had done a lot). And I had no true doubts about US and our relationship. I was extremely happy & comfortable. BUT deep down, I was beginning to dream about being married again, making it official… and with us getting older (50s & 60s) more than a little concerned about the consequences of not being married legally (especially so as we travel alot to other countries… and altho Common Law Marriage exists in Canada… it doesn’t in many other places, including the USA)
So just before our 6th Dating Anniversary, I told him, that he needed to know I was ready. I LOVED and TRUSTED him fully. (the trust bit was huge, and he knew it). And I shared my LIFE PLAN how I saw my life unfolding with him over the next 5, 10, etc years as we now approach retirement.
He was onboard. He agreed the time had come. He also told me (boy that he is) that he’d plan the Proposal / Engagement when the time was right.
As I knew it was going to happen, (and it was before I discovered WBee and how modern women handle such things… such as sending their guys pics of rings stats etc)… I told him flat out… I wanted the two of us to chose my ERing together when the time came, because I have funny fingers (short & stubby) and am rather particular about the rings I like / love.
He thought the request a bit odd… in so much as to his age, and the idea that the man always chooses the ring
BUT I told him, that in my first Marriage (circa 1980) that my Ex & I had chosen the ring together, and I had worn it happily for 20+ years.
Lol, I think this “cued” his competitive instinct… wanting to outdo my Ex, so altho he said it wasn’t what he was used to, we would shop together when the time was right
Honestly, I thought we’d shop together BEFORE he asked me. Or that he’d ignore my request and just go out and buy me a ring on his own (I would have found a way to LOVE it if only because it came from him… and I’m not one to throw a gift back in a guy’s face… especially an ERing)
So I patiently waited thru the various holidays & special occasions for the next few months… BUT at the same time, I am a modern woman, so I wasn’t going to hang all my happiness on just waiting. I truly was enjoying our relationship for what it was too in the moment (don’t cut off your nose to spite your face as they say)
Just over 4 months later, on our Easter Vacation Getaway to Myrtle Beach it happened. We were heading out from our Condo for our Afternoon Walk on the beach. He asked me very casually when we saw couple having Wedding Pics taken on the beach (they had obviously eloped)
He said “That looks like fun…”
I said “Really ?”
And he said “Ya you should look into it for the next time we are here”
(Knowing full well that we’d back just 9 months later for Christmas Vacation)
And so it was… a Non-Proposal without a Ring.
Lol, we started talking Wedding Elopement plans immediately on our walk… and I went out to puruse ERings the next day while he was golfing.
Then we looked together.
In all it took us 6 Weekends to find my ERing.
We are both very HAPPY that we didn’t buy while on holiday… or not the first ring we saw, or the first shop we visited (lots of pressure buying in Jewellery Stores). And we took the time to educate ourselves on Diamonds.
In the end we got an incredible ring. We call it OUR ERing… cause it represents truly the two of us.
When we found THE ONE, I honestly think I squealed… I certainly had a wide range of emotions that day… Giggles, incredible happiness, and tears of joy too. It was an awesome day.
Two weeks later she was ready to be picked up having had the Feature Stone set etc. He slipped on my finger in the Jewellery Store and gave me a kiss.
Then we called a bunch of friends and invited them out for a drink that night (didn’t tell em why) and announced / celebrated our Engagement. It was FABULOUS
No Regrets !!
Hope this helps,