I most definitely gave my hubby ideas. The reason I did this was because I empathize with the fact that HE has performance anxiety. I also did this, because I wanted to at least be clear about any specifics.. like, I didn’t think he had to get down on one knee or anything.
I wanted him to understand that I was totally not expecting anything over the top, I just wanted him to be true to himself, and that he wanted to be with me, of course.
Otherwise, I didn’t tell him anything else, it’s not like I said, you have to get on one knee, you better have a fat ring, and you better make me cry! Uh, no. Hahah!
But hey, some guys just don’t know what EXACTLY, you want. You could just give little pointers here and there like, when my friend got engaged I told him that I thought it was really romantic and ultra personal (they got engaged on a hike, on a vacation they planned for the two of them). I felt it was personal, because they both loved to hike and it was something they had always done together through out their relationship, and they were in a comfortable atmosphere for the both of them. I felt it was romantic, because it was during a vacation they planned for themselves, so they were on the some wave length.
I expressed, that I didn’t like the idea of being surprised when I’m mid-semester in college, stressing about a paper, trying to get ready for finals, or maybe my life is sort of a mess right now. I explained that I wanted to be able to enjoy the moment isntead of being hung up on facts like (are you serious? right now? in the coffee shop, on a sunday morning, when I’m getting ready to study for a final? and my life is a mess right now?!) But that’s also because I have performance anxiety as well, and I can be a little highstrung when I’m stressed out.
I of course, when I saw said freinds ring, thought it was gorgeous, but expressed that I don’t expect anything like that, that I’d be content with a plain band for an egagement, or just a wedding band later on. I don’t like diamonds.
She has a super gorgeous diamond solitaire, which is over the top for me, in fact, I don’t have an engagement ring, but that’s a story for another day.
I didn’t outwardly describe particulars, I just sort of gave boundary lines, so that it was still a surprise, anyways, but within what I wanted.
Specifics, could ruin things, if you want it to be a surprise!
Unless of course, you have it all layed out how you want it.. but, it could still be a surprise, anyways!
As a final thought: If you feel okay with giving pointers to your man about proposals.. do it then! 🙂