- 3 years ago
Since this board is mainly women, I would like to get some outside opinions on this.
I proposed to my girlfriend 2 weeks ago and everything went off without a hitch! She knew a proposal was coming soon but I managed to surprise her with the time and place. We had a great evening and everything seemed to be going very well.
My fiance and I have always been very open with each other, even if it was something the other person didn’t want to hear. She came to me the other day and said there was something bothering her about her ring. She admitted that she is disappointed with the size of her diamond and wishes it were bigger.
My fiance and I went shopping for rings a few months ago. We dated for a little more than 3 years and she was itching to get engaged. We’re at that age where a lot of her friends are getting engaged, married and having kids (late 20’s). I wanted to wait a little longer until we were more financially secure, as I didn’t want to have a 2 or 3 year engagement, but I saw that this was very important to her.
When we went shopping, I told her my budget for her engagement ring was $4,000, which I thought was a fair amount. I am a freelance graphic artist and web designer; some months I can make a lot of money and sometimes I can go a couple of months making nothing, not to mention we live in a very expensive city. She makes more than me, and up until now, it never seemed to be a problem. When she first heard my budget, she was a bit surprised but said she was sure she could find something beautiful in that price range.
We went to several stores but she found several settings she liked at a chain jeweler (yes, I know!) I noticed she was drawn to the more intricate, fancier settings. The lady at the store suggested going with a more simple setting but I could tell that’s not what my fiance wanted. She picked out 4 rings and since she couldn’t decide her favorite, she left it up to me to chose. All the settings she liked were at least $2,000, leaving max $2,000 for a diamond. If it were up to me alone, I would have rather spend more of the money on the diamond (and it had to be a diamond) and get a simple setting, but like I said, the setting was really important to her. I considered having a ring custom made, but I was afraid I wouldn’t get all the details right so I picked one of the rings at the chain jeweler. I should add that she was very sensitive to color and wanted a very white diamond, so naturally I would have to compromise on the size to get her the color she wanted.
When I proposed, at first I was imagining that she looked at the ring funny when I opened the box, but hindsight says she did. She said she feels terrible telling me this, but it is how she’s feeling and she doesn’t want to hold her feelings back from me. She also says her ring is the smallest of all her friends.
Quite frankly, I am upset and confused. I am upset because she knew my budget. The store has a trade up policy but you have to spend double of what you originally spent and I cannot afford to do that, at least not in the near future.
I confided in a few friends and their responses are all DUMP HER! Reasoning, if she’s that materialistic then I’m in for a hell of a life with her. Obviously I’m not ready to do that but her feelngs have unfortunately put a damper on what should be a happy time for us.
As I said, I’m looking for some outside opinions to better understand her and get past this.
In case you’re wondering, this is the ring I got her with a cushion diamond.