Post # 1
So my S/O and I have been together for a while and marriage has always been something he wanted badly. Comes from a religious, very wonderful upbringing where love and family mean everything. The first time he proposed was in the middle of a little bar in Manhattan. We were caught up in a moment and he just did it right there, no ring or anything. I was a little tipsy so of course I said yes. The next morning we woke up and agreed it would be best if we did it “the right way” with a ring etc. before telling our families and friends.
The second time was last night. He flew up and surprised me just for the night. His reasoning for the surprise was “He missed me.” (We’re long distance, he’s a Navy Nuke.) I thought for sure he was there to propose. Well the night went on and we were on the front porch talking and he was staring at me weird and got down on one knee and proposed for the 2nd time! Still without a ring! He told me he had ordered the ring but it didnt get there soon enough and he couldnt wait. I laughed and told him how silly he was and of course said yes a 2nd time but that I still didnt want to say much to our families.
Now all of our friends/families are expecting a proposal soon. I feel like I’m asked daily if we’re engaged yet. Everyone see’s us as “the fairytale romance”. My thing is.. Now I’m coming up to the THIRD proposal and this time it will be with a ring.. I never cried the first two times and I really always expected it to be some grand amazing thing.. Will the third time have the spark and feel real? I’m scared that maybe something is wrong with me for not having a normal reaction.. but its been twice and i just never really got “shook up about it”. I love my S/O with all my heart and I know he’s the one.. I’m just scared the proposal has lost its shock and awe.. Is that bad?
Post # 3
I’d say he’s your FI, not SO. Congrats on the engagement! The ring doesn’t make it official, you do. I’d have said y’all were engaged after the first proposal. He already made the grand gesture with the surprise flight, what more do you want? I don’t think adding the ring will change much, either. It’s one thing to know it’s coming, but you’re already engaged, it would just be him giving you your ring.
Post # 4
@HonoraryNerd: Yeah you’re right. I think I just kind of took the shock and awe out of it myself both times by insisting on a ring to be official and tell our familes. Both of our families are very conservative and traditional and wouldn’t take us seriously without said ring. When I think about it in that perspective I guess I’ve technically been engaged for 3 months! Good grief! We just haven’t discussed it like that.
I feel like I should also add in that my fiance felt the same way about the traditional proposal..I wasn’t a brat about it or anything.. And I think it makes for an awesome engagement story down the road.. “Third times a charm!” lol
Post # 5
I think I’m just really nervous that I’m not going to react the way I want to or he will expect because its already happened twice..
Anyone else have an unexpected reaction to their proposal? I can cry reading everyone elses but I didnt cry at my own! (Although I did after on the subway.)
Post # 6
@ohhbitty: I think it’s sweet that he is so excited that he can’t even wait for the ring to arrive. I feel like I would be the same way if I was a guy. I”m really bad at containing my excitement for things. You’ll see the beautiful ring he picked out for you and he’ll ask again and it will be exciting because this time you’ll actually be able to share the excitement with your friends and family and feel really engaged.
Post # 7
@ohhbitty: My FI is an ex-Navy Nuke (he didn’t re-enlist, thank goodness!!) They are good guys, Congrats on your engagement!!
ETA: Getting your ring will still feel exciting, at least it did for me! I was more than ready to get engaged and I KNEW it was happening during our vacation in Mexico- I was STILL super surprised and excited!!
Post # 8
i got three. the first was drunken, the second was official, the third was when we got my ring. all three were totally different, and i loved all of them.
Post # 9
Im really glad I posted this to the board because all of you made me feel so much better. I knew I was being silly but as a little girl you just have this preconceived notion of how its all supposed to go you know?! But really I’m a lucky lady to have a man that loves me so much he feels the need to propose three times.. haha
I just hope this last one gives me the reaction he’s expecting and I want!
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2015 - The Lodge at Mackenzie Place
@ohhbitty: Oh my gosh this sounds familiar! My dad had to propose 3 times to my mom! She told him no the first two times because she just wasn’t ready yet, but she knew he was the one and kept telling him to try again. 30 years of marriage they are still going strong! You never know how you are going to react, you might explode into tears or laughter as soon as you see that ring, OR you might go into a silent happy bliss…either way, 30+ years later you will LOVE that your husband knew he loved enough to keep asking until the time was perfect!
Post # 11
He sounds so sweet!!! Surpring you like that and being spontaneous. You don’t need a ring to promise marriage 😉
I am a pretty sensitive person, crying easily during movies, etc. At wedding, I always have tears when the couple says their vows. I was really hoping that I wouldn’t start crying at my wedding…and I didn’t! There was some nervousness, and probably a bit of adrenaline, along with a few glasses of wine beforehand, haha! I was calm and collected, which I appreciate, because I wanted it to be meaningful but without crying.
But when I was thinking of the wedding beforehand, I would tear up. So it’s interesting that I didn’t cry in the actual moment.
Other anecdote, while I proposed to my bf, I didn’t cry. I thought I might, since when I was thinking of doing the proposal and asking him to marry me, I was tearing up. But again, in the moment, I didn’t cry.
Anyway, have fun with your third proposal and come back and post your ring!!
Post # 12
I found out about the ring on accident when the ring insurer called and said it was about the engagement ring policy – what an idiot! I sort of freaked – mostly because I sort of ruined whatever surprise would have come after that and was in trouble, but probably partly because I wasn’t ready to hear about a ring yet even though he’d told me to choose the design I wanted for sure months before.
So, I had plenty of time to speculate how he would do it and when, and besides that I had told him my ideal setting (on top of a mountain). So, when we took a vacation to the Appalachians, I was pretty sure it was gonna happen.
I had always envisioned myself crying and it being this huge romantic thing, but I think that was wishful thinking. For us, it was actually sort of anticlimatic. It was the perfect place, the perfect ring, and the perfect guy, but I’m not sure I would have cried even it was a surprise. Hell, my response was an awkward “uh huh!” instead of “YES!!” (I made him ask me again later so I could say the right thing.)
We got giddy later once the weirdness of FINALLY being engaged settled in. Don’t worry about it! I think romantic moments are rarely what we expect them to be.
Post # 13
Definitely in the same boat here! SO proposed to me in bed before sleep. I said yes, but it was pitch black so I made him turn the light on and ask again. I said yes but it seemed like a spur-of-the-moment thing (no ring either) so I said I wasn’t comfortable and that I had kind of been expecting a proposal while we were on holiday over Christmas. He was totally ok with doing it later and not telling our families or anyone about the in-bed proposal. Since then, I’ve ruined his ideas for the proper proposal twice (first time I was snooping (DON’T DO IT LADIES), second time he kind of spilled the beans for another at-home proposal and I said I was thinking something more eventful especially considering the in-bed proposal and the fact that the ring isn’t a surprise. Now the poor guy is planning it again. So, two failed proposals and two failed proposal plans! I feel so bad about it all; my SO is an angel though.
Post # 14
@ohhbitty: aww thats really sweet. A proposal is special with or without a ring. It’s a commitment between you and your future husband, so a ring is just a bonus! My story is similar to yours, been engaged for over a year now and my FI re-proposed this past Sunday with a ring this time. As far as I’m concened, getting proposed to more than once doesn’t take away from the magic; I wouldn’t mind get re-engaged every year :p
Post # 15
My husband proposed to me three times as well. The first time, we hadn’t been together very long and there wasn’t a ring. The second time was a few years later and he could finally get me a ring–but it was a little silver thing he got off of the internet for $30. He got it out of the mail and just thrust it into my hand, so there was no romance there lol. The third time though, he did something romantic, got down on his knee and gave me my current engagement ring. I did cry the third time. So yes, there is a chance that you will be able to enjoy the moment and cry the third time 🙂