Post # 1
Background story: My SO and I have been together for almost 5 years (our 5 year will be on Valentine’s day), and have been living together for a little over a year now. We’ve talked about marriage on and off and I’m absolutely positive that he is the one.
Side comment – so many waiting bees say they have been waiting for x-years for a proposal. Is that the total number of years you have been dating your SO? Or the number of years you realized that you wanted to get married to this person and have been waiting for that long? Because even though we’ve been together for almost 5 years, it finally hit me that he was the guy I wanted to spend my life with around year 3 – so I’ve been really waiting for a proposal for 2 years. Anyway, I digress…
Now, SO is the biggest procrastinator I know. For example, he didn’t start writing his personal statement for his grad school application until the NIGHT IT WAS DUE and submitted it 20 minutes before the deadline (sad to say that didn’t work out). I know in my heart that he wants to marry me. He’s even started referring me as his spouse at work. We went ring browsing, but only because I think I gave him a little push. He knows the exact ring that I want and I’m sure he will get that one for me because he wants to make sure he gets the exact one that I want. But I know that he’s going at his own pace, and it’s going to be a slow one. I go through these phases – some months, I will bring up marriage and suggest ring shopping very often. Other months, I don’t even think about it and just enjoy our time together. Well, this month I’m starting to think about it again – mostly because the holidays are coming up, my birthday is in 2 weeks, and our 5 year anniversary is approaching. I highly doubt he has a ring. It’s very hard for him to keep surprises from me.
I’ve told him that if he doesn’t propose by our 5 year anniversary that I’m going to propose. Of course, I say this in a joking manner so he has a good laugh about it. But I think I may just do it. He’s not super traditional and has even said “more power to her” to his female cousin who proposed to her now husband. Do I get him a ring? He’s made jokes about me getting him an “engagement guitar” if I do propose. I sometimes tease him and say that I just might, but he doesn’t take me seriously. I think it might blow his socks off if I do. So should I get him an engagement guitar?? I also think having a ring for him would be appropriate – so should I get both? Any other thoughts??
Post # 3
I like the idea of the engagement guitar if you think that’s something he would truly appreciate! It seems like you would want to get him something really special that’s more extravagant than what you would usually get him. I suspect that engagement rings don’t mean as much to guys as they do to girls, in general, but maybe you could offer to get him one if he wants it?
Post # 4
If you’re gonna do it, go the guitar route FOR SURE.
Also, I was in a situation similar to yours (knowing we were going to get married and waiting for awhile before engagement). Anywho, I thought for sure a proposal wasn’t coming because there was just no way he could keep anything from me and then all of a sudden, he was proposing. So, he MIGHT still do it. However, if he thinks it’s cool for the girl to propose then I’d go full steam ahead with the guitar idea and make a cute engagement story.
Let us know how it goes!
Post # 5
I know what I would do with all of these special dates coming up! First, I would go with a ring for him…I would have it in safekeeping and given the possibility that he may very well propose, I might potentially wait to see if he makes any kind of move first…BUT…right as soon as the 5 year mark was up, I’d propose…you warned him lol. I would go for the guitar as a Christmas present…or maybe his birthday?
Post # 6
@dihy: Yeah, I think maybe the guitar for his birthday would be a better idea and save the ring in case he may propose.
Now I need to try to find a ring for him. He doesn’t wear any jewelry so I don’t want to get something he doesn’t like. He says that men’s wedding rings look like washers. Him: “Women get diamonds and men get washers”.
Also, thought I share this Jezebel article that was posted last night. It would be nice if my SO proposed to me…but why do I have to be the one to wait around for a proposal??
Post # 7
@masqueradestars: Hmmm…you’ve caught my attention…and my FI’s. Perhaps the ring doesn’t need to be a surprise? Perhaps it should be something you do together to make sure that the ring that you choose is something that he actually likes and feels comfortable wearing? That’s what we did…I looked, checked “NO WAY”, looked, checked “NO WAY” again, until I found the styles he liked. It was rather fun and could be done before any engagement as a way to open up communication. I am of the mind that both of you should already be ready and willing to be engaged before you actually get engaged…otherwise, aren’t you truly putting the other person on the spot??
Post # 8
I proposed with a ring. He loved it, it was just too big. now we are hunting to find him the perfect ring that fits. He is actually really exited for the ring, and cant wait to tell people how i proposed when they ask. i kove the guitar idea though. Especially if he doesnt want to wear an engagement ring. Good luck! I am so exited fir you. Keep us posted 🙂