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My opinion is not popular, and I'm not posting this to look for other people who agree with me. I'm also not trying to call out or point fingers at any poster or posters in particular.
I'm asking all of you to be careful when considering which pictures of yourself to share here online.
WeddingBee is a tight-knit community, and it can often feel like the only other people who can see and hear us are the other brides. Unfortunately, that's not the case as this is a public site. Anyone, even people who are not planning a wedding, can view and save everything you post, including photographs, without having to register.
It's easy to forget such information when we are excited to show the other Bees things like rings, e-pics, and boudoir photos.
I've seen any number of racy pictures that, while lovely, probably should not be shared in public. I'm not saying this as a prude, I'm saying it because posting nearly nude pictures of yourself on the internet in a public forum is NOT a good idea.
Would you put these pictures in a public album on Facebook? Would you put them on a billboard downtown? Would you email them to your grandmother and your boss? Posting them online on a public message board is the same.
We all have different definitions of what amount of skin shown is ok. I'm not trying to start a debate on how much cleavage is appropriate. I'm only posting this PSA in hopes that you will consider the possible consequences of your actions.
How would your fiance react if he knew that these photos that are supposed to be a gift for him were online for anyone to see? How would you feel if you were turned down for a job in the future because your potential employer found these pictures and did not consider them to be appropriate?
What it comes down to is: you're not in control of who looks at, keeps copies of, and shares YOUR pictures if you put them on the internet.
Please make the choice to protect yourself online.
Dan Savage states my sentiments about online nudity better than I can: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfAUOq6NS0A
I completely agree. I don't click on the boudoir photo threads because they'd be inappropriate to see at work. Some of them are very scandalous! Definitely keep to yourself. Hey, i have a handful myself. They stay on my laptop. Some border pornographic, though...you could definitely lose a job over this =\
I think everyone here is an adult and can make their own decisions without a stranger posting a warning - if you don't like the boudoir pics don't look at them. i think that unless you are their Mom, coworker, boss, friend or FH than your opinion of what they should and shouldn't post is unnecessary and likely unwelcome.
while i do agree with some things you are saying, i still think that many of the photos show no more than some would show in public. also no one would really know that it is you... i mean cmon... most of these screennames are so random that there would be no proof... many people look so different all done up and all. i dont think people are stupid... they know what to post and what not to.
Very good point! Things also to keep in mind is to not share photos online anywhere that can link you back to your home. Such as photos of your street address or vehicles. People can google home addresses and get a map to your home or they can look up who a license plate number is registered to and thus find your home. Not safe at all!
I have to always do a double take with my photos I post to check for these type things.
Thank you for this neutral post. I don't want to comment in peoples' particular threads, but I think it bears saying that this is not always a good idea! Just look at what happened with the bee recently whose husband got an email about things she'd said here about having an affair! I think too often we feel a sense of false security on here because it is such a nice community. I am not easily offended, and I actually like the idea of a boudoir shoot. But isn't the point that they are a gift for FI's eyes only?!
And remember, once something is on the internet, it is pretty much there forever. You can never reclaim these pictures. Not now, not in 15 years, not when you are up for a promotion and your boss decides to go information mining, not when your own kids are looking up information about their parents' early days, etc....
This is not a case of "if you don't like it, don't look." For everyone who likes to point that out, I'd offer them their own advice. If you think this thread is "unwelcome" advice, ignore it -- it's not directed at any one bee. This is just a reminder because as the previously mentioned bee learned, things posted here can come back to haunt us even if we never imagined it.
I agree that posting semi-nude photos of yourself is not a good idea... but people make their own choices in life... so be it.
I know I wouldn't do it, but to each their own. 
Thank you everyone for your opinions. Everyone is entitled to make their own choices.
If the mods feel that this thread is inappropriate, then they are welcome to close it.
Now I have to disagree. If the mods close this, I will be exceedingly disappointed. If other bees can post (by definition, not a judgment) soft-core porn, we should be allowed to post a polite, non-attacking dissent...
I don't have a problem with women posting their boudoir pics. They are grown women who make their own decisions. If you don't like to look at them, don't open the thread :D
And I know that one woman on this thread who agrees with you has posted her boudoir pics here previously ;)
I have to agree with most of these posters - (@ejoyb loved the link, sent it to my FI as it sounds so much like him its not funny) - In New Zealand the whole 'boudoir photo' and 'engagement photo session' things are pretty uncommon (as in I know noone who has done either around their wedding).
But MANY women (I'm talking 40-60ish) get boudoir photos done and have them hanging in the house, womens' bodies are beautiful and I think it is great that so many Bee's are proud of their bodies that they are cool with posting them here. That being said if they were overtly sexual (I have seen NONE on the Bee that I would catagorise as that) or showed... your 'swimsuit' area (hehehe - thanks Ralph Wiggim) I think that would be inappropriate.
Go girls!
i had some and never thought about.. until someone mentioned it.. i had them removed because i didn't like the thought.. sometimes you just get excited and forget common sense
@brittanymichelle: THANK YOU! This is exactly what I mean. I am not bashing anyone's pictures or threads even. I just think sometimes we forget to be careful. I have gone back and had threads without pictures deleted just because I was worried that I revealed even just a bit too much info!
I have to agree with this too. I know that I posted a few of mine a while back, but they weren't really that racey. But I still had them removed because I didn't like the thought of it after I mulled over it a bit. That being said, I'm all for woman confidence and feeling great about your body! Just do whatever you want to do with your pictures.
I disagree with the person who said you shouldn't share your opinion on this because it's unwanted and unnecessary. People share their opinions on all sorts of topics on here every day... why is this any different? I think the op shared her opinion in a respectful way. You may agree with her, you may not. I think she has just as much right to post what she thinks about a subject as you do.. as long as it's not a mean spirited attack.
@Amaryllis: i had a friend contact me not long ago, that her husband had a picture of me in my bikini from my honeymoon saved on his computer.. CREEPY!
@brittanymichelle: That is creepy.
I actually do like seeing boudoir threads of the face type shots because I think everyone looks so pretty all glammed up. I think that we can get caught up in that excitement, and I don't want to see another thread like go4me77 whose real life was suffering greatly because of what she put on the internet.
It does seem like this thread is pointing fingers, but maybe that is just me.
I think, if you are posting anything on the internet then you are aware that it will be accessible to anyone. To each their own with how much or how little people would like to post about themselves. I have yet to see pictures on here that actually contain nudity, so until then...I don't have a problem with it. And if I did have a problem with it, I wouldn't open the thread. I think boudoir photos, for some, are part of the wedding planning process. And if you have something helpful to share about it, and are comfortable with it...then by all means.
In my opinion, we're all grown ups here and people need to set their own boundaries on what they're comfortable with. I wouldn't be comfortable showing my pics here (if I had them taken)... but more because I'm not super comfortable with my body than because I'd be worried about having the pics out there.
The vast majority of boudoir pics seem super tasteful and I don't really see anything wrong with them. They're no worse than what you'd see in victorias secret. If my boss somehow saw them he would think............... that i have sex with my husband? wow worst thing ever? lol. I just don't really see the big deal I guess. But thats me. to each their own!
I agree with the general thoughts, but in the end, I still think that we're all adults here and know what we feel comfortable with posting on the internet. I just think that what some people may find too racey or inappropriate, other people are completely okay with.
I don't see why people think it is okay to say things like "Dresses with pickups are HIDEOUS. I wouldn't be caught dead in a dress that has pickups in the skirt. I don't think those dresses are flattering at all! They make everyone look 20 pounds heavier than they really are." but you can't share your opinion on THIS topic without being attacked. In both cases, you disagree with a wedding-related choice someone has made, and you share your opinion. If you're "pointing fingers" in this thread, than ANYTIME someone shares an opinion that is contrary to what someone else is choosing to do then they are also pointing fingers. I just don't see how we can draw a line in the sand and say that it's bad to share your opinion about this, but you can share your opinion about all the other wedding related topics.
I feel like, in this technological age, people know the risks of posting personal information and pictures online and they know what they are doing. If they want to, meh... let them. They know the risks and the consequences.
I think the PSA was good advice. I've noticed brides blocking out faces on pics of them in the dress so their FI doesn't see them first. So I would think that until FI has seen the pics, it wouldn't hurt to at least cover the faces. It would be a disapointment if a bride's FI saw the pics before she gave them to him because the GF/FI/wife of his friend was also a Bee and very innocently said "hey john, look at these fantastic pics. I was thinking of doing this!", not realizing that they were still a secret.
I think this thread is a good idea to post just to remind us of it. I think people are adults but there is a false sense of security. What if you posted your very beautiful boudoir photos and a friend recently got engaged, joined wedding bee, saw the thread and opened it! They may even pass it around to mutual friends...I know it's hypothetical but definitely plausible. For me, I don't plan on posting any photos of myself b/c well I want my personal life to stay personal. However, I do enjoy seeing all these photos b/c it gives me ideas!
I am pretty hands off about this but here is some food for thought....
I found weddingbee bc I was searching wedding dress pics and the way I worded it was similar to the wording a bee used to post a thread. So imagine googling boudoir photos, bam! theres your picture and the link to your thread. Juuuust saying ladies.
The OP didn't say that she doen't like seeing boudoir pics posted on the 'bee, she's just sending out a reminder that nothing is private on the internet! A very valid reminder! I think her warning can be applied to even more than photos - you should be careful with anything you post online. You never know who is looking at or reading these boards.
I can't imagine how the OP's post could be construed as anything other than a reminder to be careful. While it may be obvious to YOU, we have woman here from 16 to 50+, from a variety of countries, with different life experiences. For the most part this is a warm, positive environment and people can feel too comfortable.
@babyboo, I know that's me!! Hindsight is 20/20!!!!!I was blinded by the veil a year ago =-]. In fact, thanks for reminding me--I've submitted a request to have it removed. It popped up in a search way, way too easily. I totally forgot it was there!
THank you for posting this. I agree with you -- it is so easy to forget that this forum is completely open to the public and comes up easily on a Google search! It's one of the few drawbacks of having such a tight-knit community, but there are SO many people looking on here that never post -- and some of them might be people you know!! How embarrassing for you and your SO.
I'm in the to each their own camp.
I posted a few of mine a few weeks ago, but they weren't anything racy (mostly just head shots) or anything that I'd be embarrassed if someone happened to find (those are for FI only!).
I think everyone has their own personal comfort level.
I'm debating whether I feel comfortable even showing my face or posting any pics on here at all :)
But the boudoir pics don't bother me. I sort of assume that everyone knows that anything they put on weddingbee, facebook, or any other online forum can be found by practically anyone.
I posted a couple of my pictures on the Bee. I had my reservations about doing so, but in the end posting a couple of very tame pictures.
I agree that people should think twice about posting really racy pictures on here especially if you work with kids, clients, are a teacher etc etc
I think this is a great reminder - and the beauty of it is that the choice is your own. I think what the OP is trying to say is to think before posting, not to never post.
I know I'm extremely careful of what I post, because it's so easy to forget what you've got where (especially when a profile doesn't have your name on it!) - and the internet really is forever, especially with caches and everything else. My personal policy is that anything on the internet is stuff I would feel comfortable putting on a postcard. :)
As a bee who had posted boudoir pictures, I appreciate the reminder. I had a situation where BMs read on here some stuff I had posted (which ended up being for the best) but I DO agree it's a good reminder, the internet is free game. And as a bee who's posted my pictures with pride :) I don't feel like the OP was pointing any fingers or made me feel ashamed. I just know when I was getting ready to do mine, I found it so helpful to see others bees pictures for ideas so I wanted to share mine PLUS they made me feel so confident... but you're right. I might ask for them to be removed at this point since they've been posted for a while. Thanks again.
I like reminders - refreshers...
To me this is a mere reminder - OP, thank you 
I agree that its to each their own..but I also think that people should be really careful about what you post. I did see some boudoir pics end up on a site that loves to make fun of weddingbee (i was looking up that other post that people were talking about)...and that made me really uncomfortable for that person. anyone can download and save these pics to their computers...
Totally agree with OP. Someone I know got fired for posting sexy pics (no nudity) on her blog. Just something to think about. Not telling anyone what to do with their lives.
I think this is a great reminder! WB is such a great and tight-knit community that it can be easy to forget that anyone has access to what we post here!
I agree as well. You never know what is going to pop up in the search engines.
For example while searching for pics of my venue thru google - my weddingbee avatar appears on the 2nd page (it is of course my picture but I don't post anything that would get me in trouble).
Even if it wasn't my photo - it wouldn't be too hard for someone to find my profile, then see posts with my invites and fiance's first name plus my wedding date and know who I was.
Point is there is never anonymity on the internet and stuff sticks around FOREVER. Even if you're in college or just starting off your career those pics could pop up at an inopportune time later in life.
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