PTSD

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lookingforadvice77:  Hi there, I have a PTSD diagnosis from my time in the military as I was involved in a few direct combat situations.  My diagnosis is very different from yours, in that I knew that was what I was dealing with and it was diagnosed and treated within a short time frame post-incident.

I don’t have a great deal of advice for you, other than to say that time does make it better, and therapy can give you the tools you need to better manage your own condition.  PTSD manifests iteself in a variety of ways… for some there is a great deal of anxiety, for others it is depression.  The PTSD impedes your natural ability to process certain things and you will need to learn the tools necessary to cope.  It is possible, and it does get better.  Best of luck!

Post # 4
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

My experience with therapy is that after a big breakthrough, you’re going to be an emotional mess for a while. It digs up all kinds of unpleasant stuff that you have to work through, and it may hit you at the most random times.

Why don’t you talk to your therapist about how best to talk to your husband about the stuff that’s coming up in therapy?

Post # 5
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Continue going to therapy, I’ve been struggling with it for many many years and my flashbacks have decreased significantly but it ultimately manifested into mild anxiety. I would incorporate your DH into your therapy sessions. I don’t share my struggles with anyone at all but my FI, a lot of the times I just work on myself internally because when I do experience flashbacks or anxiety I know where it’s stemming from so I just take it one day at a time. He and I don’t have constant conversations about it, but I’m naturally introverted and quiet anyway. 

Post # 6
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

@lookingforadvice77:  I’m sorry you are dealing with PTSD. My FI does clinical research on PTSD and specifically sexual trauma, so I know a great deal about the hardships sufferers face. The anger is normal, and you are doing the best thing for you by going to therapy. My FI has seen some amazing strides made in recovery through cognitive behavior therapy. It can and will get better. *Hugs*

 

Post # 7
Member
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I received a PTSD diagnosis about a year ago when I was seeking therapy for childhood sex abuse. It is not easy and I’m often a rollercoaster of emotions, but somehow I’ve just dealt with it. I keep myself busy which I think helps A LOT. I exercise frequently which also helps.

Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself and figuring things out. I need to, too. Continue therapy! I stopped and regret it because I feel that I am not fully healed. I plan to in the future.. it just doesn’t “feel” right right now.

Post # 10
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@lookingforadvice77:  I have not felt the need to as of yet because my FI interacts when I discuss my mental state and is very understanding, but every guy handles things uniquely. For instance I had an ex literally walk out on me in the midst of an anxiety attack, like literally left our apt and never came back. He didn’t know the full extent of my PTSD and that’s because he wasn’t open to discussing it. That’s why I choose to keep it to myself for the most part, with the exception of my future husband. I just had a feeling that I could open up with my FI about anything and everything so I did, and he’s the only person who knows my deepest/darkest secrets.

My ex couldn’t understand because the event that caused my PTSD happened when i was 4 (I’m now 27) so that’s why I suggest incorporating your DH because he may not fully grasp it. And if you feel as though he’s not understanding or anything you may start to resent him which will only have negative affects on your relationship ultimately. Some people are more empathetic than others and it’s natural, I would just bring it up to your DH and explain the importance of him fully understanding what you’re going through right now and him attending your therapy visits would be a good place to start. 

 

Post # 13
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@lookingforadvice77:  

I’m so sorry you’re  going through all of this! Extra stress is not usually good for us, does your therapist also provide couples counseling? It sounds like you guys could really benefit from it, OR if you truly need to have some time to heal since you’ve just had a breakthrough especially since you guys have been on shaky ground for some time, a seperation of some sort? I feel as though you guys may need time seperately to work on your individual issues, and then come together to start working on them as a unit. Taking the time to heal mentally and emotionally will only benefit this or any other future relationships you may have. 

Post # 15
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@lookingforadvice77:  i dont have advice for PTSD, but I did have Major Depression that pretty much took most of my 30’s from me. The crawl back to mental health is long and hard, but worth it. Just wanted to send you a virtual (((HUG)))

Post # 16
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@lookingforadvice77:  Please do not blame yourself!! This is 1000% not your fault, don’t ever forget that fact. Because his lack of reaction angers you (which will just worsen your PTSD) and you can not meet his needs right now until you have some time to heal, I think you both would benefit from a non legal separation and take it one day at a time. If you notice improvements then you can try to work at couples counseling again (if you feel as though the marriage can still be salvaged). Your health truly is paramount right now, most won’t understand but do what’s best for your mental/emotional well being. 

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