Post # 1
to all the brides to be who think that strip clubs do not allow the men to touch the strippers, you are correct.
HOWEVER, strippers touch them men. This includes rubbing their breasts in his face and grinding her nearly naked butt into his crotch for at least 3 minutes (the dances last the length of the song). This is the equivalent of him getting fondled for three long minutes. Ok, you can deal with that? Good. Consider this: it’s customary for every guy in attendance to buy the groom at least one dance. At an average of 10 guys per bach party – on the conservative side- multiplied by 3 women per dance that’s 30 MIN of another woman sexually touching your man. Please tell me how women can reconcile this in their minds. I feel like a freak because it upsets the heck out of me and every girl i talk to seems to not grasp the severity of whats going on at these places. This is the best case scenario by the way, the worst case is the hotel room strippers who encourage the men to eat off their bodies, lick or touch them, and play cames like “feed the kitty” which involves them rolling up a dollar in the mans mouth and squatting naked over his face to pick the dollar up with their YOU KNOW WHAT.
Please sound off on your thoughts on this. I feel very alone in my objections and when I read these boards for support, I’m astonished at the number of posts from women that say “It’s no big deal, there’s no touching.” Please get with the program ladies.
Any one have any thoughts on this. I am beside myself with disgust. And yes i do trust my man.
Post # 3
I am so thankful that my FI’s bachelor party will consist of a full day fishing charter and not a strip joint!!
Post # 4
I mean, this may sound awful, but I know if I ask my guy not to go to a strip club during his 3-day destination bachelor party in New Orleans with 21 rowdy guys in tow, he’s just going to lie to me and still go. I trust him and to me this is his rite of passage. While I’m not super thrilled about strippers (notice how I don’t say ‘other women’) touching him for money, I trust that he’s not going to actually sleep with them.
Post # 5
Gah! Feed the kitty… WHA!?!??
Yeah, I agree with you on this. I just don’t like. I realize that it’s to each their own, but I just don’t like it. Thankfully, the hubs doesn’t like it either, so we agree on this.
Post # 6
setringa, I definately don’t think you are alone in your feelings. The Bachelor Party/Stripper Debate has been going on for a long time on the boards. Check out some of the comments on this post. I think the boards are pretty much half/half about this issue. It’s up to each bride and her FI to decide what kind of behavior is or isn’t appropriate and what they are comfortable with.
I think you provide some interesting details about the reality of some strip shows. I know that a lot of the graphic physicality you describe only goes on in private parties, where strippers are hired usually independent of the clubs. Movies like “The Goods” tend to portray the strip clubs in a more comedic and outlandish manner, which is really unrealistic. Each state has different laws about what type of services are allowed to take place. Some states allow women to be completely naked and others do not. Some states even have restrictions on the alcohol depending on the level of dancing going on.
I think any bride who is concerned about her FI’s behavior or participation at his bachelor party, should have a serious discussion with him about it. Getting angry and accusatory at your FI for something he hasn’t even done yet is not the way to go.
Post # 7
I’ve never been to a strip club, all I have to go on is from movies… like in Knocked Up, where she rubs her butt all over his face and the guy is like, “THAT’S how you get pink eye…” lol… I mean, I don’t want a butt rubbed in my face!
Post # 8
I guess because I have known people that work in strip clubs and I have been in a few so this does not bother me as much…No, my FI will not be going to a strip club, that is not his style or taste…but I don’t think I would tell him he could not go because I would not want him to lie to me…If he goes i will simply have to trust him enough to know do anything crazy that might break us up…..Not all strip clubs are like the one you described and not all men want that sort of “special treatment”.. There is no program to get with, I am sure there are many ladies that know what goes on in a stripe club but what is the point in getting all upset about it…If he wants to go, I would probably go with him or something because I am just that type of chick…but I know he would never go….but if he did mention it I would not blow up on him, we would talk about it…
Post # 9
Personally, this doesn’t really bother me. I trust my fiance whole heartedly. Besides, if he cheats on you with a STRIPPER, is he really worth marrying in the first place.
Post # 10
You may think this sounds strange, but I’m encouraging the people planning the bachelor party to go to a strip club, because I know the other option is hiring strippers to come to the house. Lesser of 2 evils??
BTW – Isn’t it strange that people like having butts rubbed in their face??? EWWW.
Post # 11
I agree with you, that is why my man is NOT allowed to go to strip clubs! He also WILL NOT have anything to do with strip clubs, strippers, or girls in general at his bachelor party. We have had some LONG talks about this! I am not comfortable with him looking at another woman (and being rubbed on, etc) and getting turned on by it. In my mind that is the same as cheating. He understands and wouldn’t be happy if the tables were turned.
Post # 12
To me, strip clubs are cheating. Seriously, your man getting turned on by a naked girl that is not you? Totally not cool in my book. I am a very open-minded girl, but there is something not right about that.
Post # 13
I’m not going to get into this hardcore debate again, but I’ll reiterate what I always say which is that strip clubs do not bother me at all. I trust my FI and don’t care if he goes to a strip club, touching or otherwise.
Post # 14
I have to say I am suprised by the comments where people don’t care about their men going to strip clubs cause they trust them.. and yet on a post I read yesterday where the posters fiance cuddled with another woman, a large number of votes called this cheating. Yet as long as it is the womans job to do worse/more to your man,, it becomes OK?
I am confused I guess. . . ??
Post # 15
@Rebekah: IMO, cuddling/flirting with a woman is an emotional connection. Strip clubs are not.
Post # 16
This bothered me only slightly. My DH went to a strip club as PART of his bachelor party festivities. Mostly involved bars, etc. Would I have preferred that he NOT go? Sure. But, I trust him and he knew what “line” not to cross. I am sure he got a lapdance or two. My brothers were groomsmen and at his party, which added another level of comfort. But, if I truly thought he would play nasty games with a stripper, I wouldn’t have married him in the first place.
EDIT: I agree with the PP who said cuddling, etc. is cheating whereas strip club is not. Cuddling etc is an emotional thing. Getting a lapdance and watching strippers is not emotional. If DH went to a strip club every weekend then I would have a problem with it. I have been with him for almost 9 years. He’s been to a strip club while I have been with him twice – once for my brother in law’s bachelor party, once for his. No problem there.