Post # 1
Anyone care to vent? I hope no one minds if I vent a little.
The days are feeling slightly more and more stressful about $$$. Not only am I worried about the budget and increasing costs associated with our destination wedding, but daily news, ongoing debates about the economy and outsourcing of jobs, – I’m feeling very sad right now. We are hearing about layoffs/firings of friends and co-workers (for both FI and myself) almost weekly now and seeing foreclosure signs and countless non-moving units in our condo complex. I can’t help but feel the pain of this recession (despite what our president says).
How has this affected the wedding planning? Well – I’m starting to 2nd guess everything. Why am I doing a DW? Can our friends and families afford it? Last year, everyone was high and jolly. Now – not so much. Did the things I register for cost too much? Should I even forgo the registry? It’s tough times and people are conservative, maybe not even 1/2 our invited guests will show? And I don’t want to hope or expect gifts if they even make the trip. I know to offset the costs, I am paying for the BM’s dresses, hair & makeup. The FI is redeeming his airline points for 2 of his groomsmen for their bachelor party (it was planned for Cabo since last summer).
I just feel overwhelming GUILT for everything. For what anyone and everyone needs to contribute $-wise for our wedding. I hope it will pass. Any tips to get over this feeling? Or anyone else feeling this way too?
Post # 3
I am a little. Not so much about the wedding, because there’s not a lot of travel involved for most people. I figure people will give what they can – and I’m not going to worry about it. But I’m starting to second guess our honeymoon. We’re spending 5 times what we would normally spend on vacation (we have the cash) but I think – should we keep it in reserve just in case? Plus its in Europe so who knows how much it will cost with the rising dollar. FH would be soo disappointed if I suggested changes so I think I’m going to just keep my mouth shut for a while (things could always change).
I’m with you – this isn’t the most joyous of times economically and I’d love everyone to feel fat and happy at the reception. But I can’t fix it. Just make sure you thank everyone that helps you out. Sounds like you’re probably already understanding about people’s financial woes.
FYI – my hook for my bachelorette (in Miami) was come spend your rebate checks that I morally disapprove of. I got lots of good feedback on it! Maybe it can help pay for people to come to your wedding. (I am openly political so no one was surprised at my commentary – guess it depends on your predilections)
Post # 4
Ah! Great idea on the rebate checks gaudior23! That’s how I am planning on paying for some of my BM’s expenses. I agree w/you about the Euro as well. We’ve pretty much nixed the idea of any honeymoon in Europe b/c the dollar is so weak. But I say if you have it al planned and have the $ – then go with your heart’s desire!
I also vented to the FI last night about this. And he assured me that we are fine – it’s just the beginning of the recession and that everyone is being more conservative. Thanks for letting me vent.
Post # 5
good venting thread!
I’m stressed about it. Try being a small business owner going through their slow season with a FH in grad school….ugh.
We just found out last night that my FH’s folks said that the rehearsal dinner is maxing them out. So that is all that they can contribute. Not good.
We are trying to cut costs left and right, but the reality is that I have very specific tastes and expectations of the events I put together and unfortunately Ca is very expensive. I’m still coming in lower than the ‘average’ bay area wedding, but it’s not by a lot.
Sometimes I think it would be better to just get the whole 9-5 thing. So much less responsibility and I’d actually get weekends to do DIY projects!!!!
oh, the grass is always greener….
Post # 6
not too worried about it – we’ve already paid off our first wedding that will be in hawaii this august… and starting to pay off our church (and more formal) wedding for next year…
times are tough *shrugs* -big deal – just like everything else, this will pass and another cycle will start…eventually the economy will stink again, but after that another up cycle…
one day at a time! cant live all of them at once and none of us will live a day longer with worrying about anything…
Post # 7
glittergrl, I’m bay area, too. It is frakkin expensive here, I agree. I am also coming in a teensy bit under "average", but I’m not very proud of that.
I’m getting a little anxious about wedding costs myself. The photobooth I booked last year seems really frivolous (even though I love it). We’ve already paid for half, so I guess that’s something.
Post # 8
KatietheLady – out of curiousity, how much was your photobooth and who did you rent it through?
I saw you are getting married in Aug — me too. 🙂
Post # 9
I love this post… so much wedding planning is focused on us and our big day…. it’s nice to think about what’s happening in the world around us and to the people we care about. Times are very tough and it is a big deal.
I’m beyond the point of worrying about the economy — I live it. I changed jobs and moved across the country to join my fiance last year. My house has been on the market for 10 months. I’ve reduced the price 3 times — it’s a steal if only there were buyers. The media has hyped up the mortgage crisis to a level that makes everyone fearful of taking a step forward. I continue to pay a mortgage on an empty house plus huge rent in a city known for a high cost of living. There is very little money left over for wedding expenses.
We were always planning a low budget wedding, but now we’ve resorted to extreme measures. We limited our guest list and will only be able to cover the very basics… none of the lavish things I see in magazines. I bought a used wedding dress, shoes on the clearance rack, and jewelry from Target. I’ve eaten sandwiches everyday for the past eight months so 60 of my closest friends and family can have a nice chicken dinner and a slice of cake in June. This wasn’t how I intended it to be… but I know that I will feel beautiful and very loved when I am surrounded by the people who matter most on the biggest day of my life.
Post # 10
I am feeling major guilt also! Every time I think of the other things the money spent on my wedding could buy (like food for 500 people in Somalia or something like that) I feel really bad. After all, a wedding reception is really just a party that follows the important part–the marriage ceremony!
But at the same time, since many people will be traveling long distances to attend my wedding, I want to provide them with a nice dinner and a nice time in general.
I think that as long as you are considerate of your guests’ finances and pick some reasonably priced items for your registry (and it sounds like you are) that’s the best you can do 🙂 Even when times are tough, people enjoy celebrating happy occasions such as marriages and I’m sure your guests will be happy to attend yours, even if it does cost a little money.
Post # 11
One of the things that I’m also doing to cut costs is offering trade. Because a lot of my vendors are expensive I’m asking them if they need the services I offer in trade for theirs. Some do, some don’t, but it never hurts to ask.
Of course there is still cash to be given because there are fixed costs involved for any business, but it does make me feel much better about what I’m purchasing and giving since I don’t have the physical $ to give all the time.
just an idea for those of you that may be able to do something like this.