Weddingbee boards

This is just my point of view, so please don't start throwing tomatoes at me!

I always thought that having a baby was about two people wanting to start a family, raise a child...bring a child into this world. That seems pretty big to me. I know I will be carrying the baby for nine months and giving birth, but FI will help throughout the pregnancy and be up with me at 3am changing dirty diapers once the baby is here.

What I am trying to say is the FI and I are partners. We will both work hard to bring a child into this world and raise a healthy, happy child. I don't want or expect FI to give me a diamond tennis bracelet (or something else) as a pat on the back for giving birth to his child! I see it as an honor and big responsibility to carry OUR child. I think giving birth to a beautiful baby is the best present I could ever receive.

Like I said before this is just my 2 cents.

This is just my opinion.  While I LOVE presents, I think the push present is a little barbaric.  To me it seems like "Way to go, brood mare, for popping out another kid."  And while a little memento would be ok, I think the over the top diamond push presents are too much.  The birth of your child should be about the two of you, bringing life into the world.  And I feel like the push present cheapens that.

Just my opinion!

ETA: My brother got my SIL a push present that was actually really sweet, he booked a photography session for a month after my nephew was born and now they have some great first family pictures.

@Future Mrs. Martin:  I think that if someone demands/expects a present, then yes, it comes across as materialistic (I have an acquaintence that demanded a new diamond for both of her boys....ouch).  But, I think getting a gift as a way of remembering is special.  Yes, obviously the baby is the most special gift you could receive.  I always thought getting a bracelet and then adding a charm for each child would be special....but I don't think that makes me materialistic. 

hmm...are baby baubles (I like it better than push present, too) kinda like advanced Mother's Day presents?  Is anyone going to turn down a Mother's Day present from her husband (since he's the one getting it until your child can make/choose one for you anyway)?  I think I see them in the same light...a baby bauble and/or future Mother's Day present isn't necessary from my husband, but it's a nice gesture & I'll appreciate it if I get either/both. 

ETA: Based on that logic, I think I'll get HIM a baby bauble...regardless if he gets me one, I'D like to thank him for making me a mommy! 

I think a new pair of diamond earrings will work just fine for a push present.

I don't know, when I first heard of it my reaction was not positive.

But.  A woman does all the work of creating a baby - literally her body takes the raw material and creates and grows a human being - the work is all hers.  Biology does not allow for equality here.

I would hope that any women who has a baby wants to have one and so would do it whether or not her husband was around.  But since I won't be a single mom I'm going to be 'gifting' him with something when I'm doing this work - I'm going to make him a father with a lot less physical labor than which I have to undergo to become a mother - a lovely gift of gratitude and adoration would not be turned down.  :)

And I think a baby is not a gift - it is a human being with all of its own individuality and opinions and relationships.  I mean, I get what people mean when they say that - I've succumbed to refering to my FI as a 'gift' in my own head once or twice.  And having loving relationships in one's life it totally a gift but I would still say that a baby is too complicated to be considered a "gift". 

Also, when you're pregrnant/have a baby/have a child I think it's easy to get so consumed in the "mother" that you forget the "woman" so something that's just for the woman and has no relationship to the child - oh like rubies - is a nice reminder of your own other side.