Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant
Has anyone had to push back a year for financial reasons?
Fi and I were counting on his parents picking up a few things and contributing to the honeymoon. Well, over Christmas, tensions between us and his family finally broke and we no longer feel that we can accept money from them because we know they’ll hold it over us/make us feel guilty for it for the rest of our lives.
So this brings us to a few options: Go ahead and go for October of 2010 and probably not take a honeymoon and probably not have some of the things we wanted. We’d have to take the honeymoon in 2011.
Or we could wait to have the wedding in 2011 and save up more money.
Waiting until 2011 feels like the end of the world to me…I’m afraid people will think we’re on the rocks, or reconsidering, or they might think that we’re generally not committed to each other. Is this unreasonable to think?
We don’t have a venue yet (we were getting close) and we haven’t booked anything/sent invites or STDs out yet. Technically, we’re completely free to move it back a year. But I’m afraid that by October 2011 I’ll just want the wedding to be over with and planning won’t be fun anymore. I was so incredibly excited to get married in 2010…yes, of course we’ll still be together in a year, but my heart was so set on 2010 and my heart is never easily swayed.
Has anyone gone through this? How do you face the disappointment? Did anyone wait to take their honeymoon for financial reasons? Thanks for any advice!
Post # 3
I would get married sooner rather than later. It sucks to have a long engagement and I do agree that you will probably be tired of the wedding by 2011 and want the planning to be over with. Everyone gets tired of their wedding at the end, but even more so if the engagement is long. Plenty of people take honeymoons a year or so later. I vote that you just have the wedding this fall and take a minimoon right away and a big honeymoon later.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant
Thanks, amariem…I’ve been thinking the same thing, and that’s unfortunately one of the things that my Fi doesn’t understand. He thinks it’ll be easier to just get everything set up now and then all we have to do is save for a year and not think about it anymore!
I’ll talk to him about it though…Thanks
Post # 5
we are taking a minimoon and decided to take out honeymoon on our first anniversary to save more money and make it a much great honeymoon that we can afford right now
Post # 6
I’m sorry you guys are going through family drama, I hope it gets resolved. Good for you for deciding to do it yourselves, it may make it mean a lot more to you both. I’d get married sooner rather than later too. You’ll have an amazing wedding even if you have to cut some small stuff out. And so many people go on their honeymoon a bit later than the wedding date. Just be sure to book it and at least put a small deposit down on it. Otherwise things may come up and you don’t want to keep postponing the honeymoon (I say this because that’s what a friend did).
Post # 7
I also agree to do it sooner rather than later. Save up for a great honeymoon around your one year anniversary. I think you’ll be happy you did, especially in October of 2011 when you have been married for a year and not just getting married…. 🙂
Post # 8
We actually post-poned a year due to financial situations. I found that we were giving up too much in the wedding scheme and I didn’t want to sacrifice all those personal touches. I’m so glad we did, as it gave us that extra year to save up and do it the way we wanted.
BUT if you are okay with sacrificing some small things and post-poning a honeymoon, then I would probably get married now and mini-moon later.
Post # 9
I’m with @Tenille. You say that somethings would have to be sacrificed for a 2010 wedding are you willing to do this and are you sure you won’t look back in 20 years and be like yea we really should have done X, Y, and Z at our wedding even if it meant postponing a year. Also you will only get the full Honeymoon experience if you can go right after your wedding. Before you think I have no merit in all of this. I got engaged Valentines Day 2009 and I am planning a June 2011 wedding (orginally Sept. 2011 but due to the band and weather concerns we’ve moved it up). Thats a 2.25 year long engagement, we’re paying for everything and we know just how we want everything to play out and so if waiting means we can make our wedding everything we want it to be it is 100% worth it. Just my 2 cents, do what works best for you and your FI.
Post # 10
We were married in October 2009, but are waiting to take our honeymoon until around June 2010. It wasn’t for financial reasons, but I’m 100% happy with our decision. I love having something extra to look forward to, and this just gives us more time to plan exactly what we want. We took a small mini-moon for a couple of days after the wedding, and I was very happy we didn’t have a huge trip to get through at the time, since we were both pretty tired/emotionally drained. Good luck!
Post # 11
I’m in a very similar situation. We got engaged in October and my first thought was fall/winter of 2010(/2011). We just bought a house though and I feel like it is going to be REALLY hard to pull it together by then. We’re toying with pushing it back to fall 2011, but I feel the exact same way as you… that is such a LONG engagement and what if I just start hating it half way through?? At this point I think we may decide to split the difference and do spring 2011. Gives us a little more time but not TOO much more time… and if we decide to do that I will just try to chill on all plans for a few months so I”m not doing like 20 months of hardcore planning.
Post # 12
When we first got engaged, we were planning on getting married in a year. I immediately started hyperventilating about money etc. and having odd dreams. Then, we decided to move the wedding back another year, and suddenly the fog lifted and I could enjoy wedding planning. Then once I had things well in hand, we moved our date up a few months because we couldn’t stand not to get married sooner. Like some others have said, we’ll be taking a mini moon and going on a big trip a year or so after our wedding, which works really well for us.
In your case, I’d vote for sooner rather than later. 2010 baby woo hoo!
Post # 13
I will be engaged 15 months when I get married. We are also postponing our honeymoon by about 6 months to a year after the wedding due to finances and job issues. I was told by friends who honeymooned later, that it was better because they had two things to look forward to and also went on their trip well rested and excited not frazzled after the wedding.
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I would put off the honeymoon rather than the wedding, if you can still swing it. You can also do a short “staycation” after the wedding so you still have that time to be together and bond right after the wedding, without spending more money!
Post # 15
We’ve actually pushed back several years! Two years ago my fiance was laid off from work, so we’re still trying to recoup financially from that. We’ll get married whenever we have the cash. We have a specific vision for our big day, and we won’t get married until we can have exactly what we want! We’ve waited 5 years, another year or two won’t kill us!
Post # 16
We haven’t gone on a honeymoon yet either even though we were married 6 months ago. Honestly, it’s just a vacation and you can have fun with your new husband on vacation just as well 6 months to a year later. I think that pushing it back would probably not be fun, we had a long engagement and it was rather annoying and tedious and I was sick of it by the end. I say go for a smaller wedding now, inviting fewer people maybe and if you really want a bunch of people involved, you can have a big anniversary party later or something (which would still be cheaper than a wedding I bet).