(Closed) Put my foot down or save some coin?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do about the BMs shoes?
    Buy the shoes for them! That's what you want, dang it! : (12 votes)
    29 %
    Relax! Let them pick their own shoes, save your money for something more important! : (23 votes)
    56 %
    Other (I'll explain below) : (6 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3285 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    That’s weird that they want white heels, but I say, pick your fights and that’s not one that’s worth it in my opinion! =)

    Post # 4
    Member
    908 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I would buy them all the shoes and ask them to wear them.  Personally, I didn’t want to specify shoes for my girls but since you want it and are paying for it, I think you should go for it.  Also, when I’m pushed around, I push back with even more force and since they were so rude to you, I think you should stick to your guns.

    If your FSIL refuses to wear the shoes that you have bought for her, then she will look bad at the wedding.  She won’t match the rest of the BMs and anyone who notices will know that she was being difficult.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2719 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I know money is tight & everything-but you should have what you want. When it’s her wedding she can do what she wants. Good luck!

    Post # 6
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I also find it a little strange that they want white heels of all things.  My bridesmaids begged me not to make them wear white/ivory shoes because you can’t really wear them that often and they didn’t really like any they had seen.

    Anyway, I do agree that you should just pick your battles.  Let them do their own shoes and you can put your foot down about something else more important.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    If it’s something you really REALLY want, go for it. I think it’s really nasty of your FSIL and FMIL to have been that rude, especially after the bridemsaids had complete control over what dress they would wear.

    If it’s something that you are only so-so about, then it’s not worth it. Save the cash for something else.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4567 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I’m having a really hard time picturing emerald shoes and robin egg blue dresses…as a general color scheme I love it, but having those two strong colors togethers might detract from YOU! Pick your battles, girl. Is this something that you absolutely will regret in 20 years? If it is, stand your ground and don’t back down. If it’s just a power struggle (which really, that’s what it sounds like) then I would be the gracious one and just let it go. I’m am sorry they were mean to you, and that’s not okay. I’d have a sit down with them or write a letter telling them that how they handled the situation was not okay and that you require respect as a person.

    Post # 9
    Member
    11327 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    why does FSIL not like them? Is it the color or that they are flip flops? Some people can’t stand the thing between their toes! If it is just a matter of her not liking the style, then just go ahead and buy them. It’s not her wedding. However if she just hates flip flops because she thinks they’re uncomfortable, you might need to be a bit more flexible. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Since your budget is tight, I’m sure you will wish you had that $100 to spend on something else. Just think about what is most imporant and spend the money towards that 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee

    I’ll be buying my ladies shoes. I am insisting that they wear them to the ceremony and for the pictures. Since I know these shoes are not the best for dancing the night away (I’m going for kitten heels for them so they don’t tower over me in my flats)… I’m leaving their rehearsal shoes up to them!

    Post # 13
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Silver is much better than white. White sounds…old school I guess. Why don’t you tell them to all wear silver shoes so they can pick out their own? I told mine they could do gold, champagne, silver, blush metallic (Jcrew has a bunch of “guava” sandals) and they all just picked something that was comfy and they had knee-length dresses on, so it added a LITTLE bit of a different look to each girl. Some wanted 4″ heels, some wanted flats, etc.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3285 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    yes!  silver would be 100x better.  I am a BM in a wedding in Jan and the bride just specified we get silver shoes =)

    Post # 16
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    EJS: I’m glad you said it!  I was also thinking white heels are a little 80s for bridesmaids ;o)

    I think silver is a great idea and it looks so good with blue.  I’m doing a bright pink and having my BMs wear silver shoes.

    The topic ‘Put my foot down or save some coin?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors