Post # 1
Alright- What would y’all do?
I have a half-sister that will be 15 at the time I get married. She lives across the country from me, but I told her she would be a bridesmaid. However…. She’s going through that “I’m too cool for everything but cheerleading and boys” stage.
She has shown ZERO interest in my wedding, my dress, or my personal life for that matter. I’ve texted her to check-in on how high school is treating her, and I get short replies. But it gets worse… I got a new phone about a month ago, and I’ve needed everyones numbers. I have asked her THREE times via facebook to text me so I have it. It’s been a month, and I still haven’t heard from her.
I get it, she’s 15, she isn’t going to be as thrilled as my friends… But c’mon, really? I don’t want to spend a penny on someone like that. I also have a friend I would MUCH rather have in her place.
So what do I do?
1. Replace her, considering she probably wouldn’t even notice or care, and promote her to a guest..
2. Keep her, and add the additional bridesmaid. Though, that will make an uneven number for bridesmaids and groomsmen.
or 3. Find another role for her (and what would that be?) There’s no way she would be a junior bridesmaid… She’s “too cool” for that!
Post # 3
Add your friend in her place. It’s not worth it, and 15 is young for a bridesmaid anyway.
Post # 4
Make your friend a bridesmaid and have your sister do a reading at the ceremony
Post # 5
@CzechBride14: She’s your sister not a friend and she’s 15. I personally think leave her in, but don’t really expect anthing from her.
Post # 6
@CzechBride14: Awe, sorry to hear that. My sister is 14 and she was my Maid of Honor so I’m not sure you can chaulk it up to age. I agree with the bees above though. I would have your friend be your bridesmaid. If you want to try and include her it’s worth a shot, however it doesn’t sound like she’s really interested in anything other than being a guest.
Post # 7
I’d tell her she’s a junior bridesmaid. If she has issue with that, then she doesn’t have to be in the wedding if she doesn’t want to.
Post # 8
She can put on a coordinating dress and hand out programs!
Post # 9
I don’t think she has done anything bad enough to warrant getting kicked out of the bridal party. So keep her in. Ask your friend as well, if you want, you don’t need even sides. It sounds like you shouldn’t have asked her in the first place, but now that you have I think it would be dramacity to disinvite her. Not worth it.
Post # 10
It sounds like you are not that close and because of that alone, I would not have asked her to be in my wedding. However, because you already asked her, is it going to change things if she becomes a junior bridesmaid and you can put your friend in? If it will seriously impact your budget or your BP numbers because they HAVE to be even, have your sister do something else like a reading or escort or something.
Post # 11
I would leave her out to be honest. I get it, she is 15, but even at 15 some girls are interested in their sisters wedding and it just doesn’t sound like she is. You might even do her a favor in leaving her out. Some teenagers just don’t want that kind of attention (I can speak from experience here). I would suggest it to her and phrase it something like :”You don’t seem to be too excited about being a bridesmaid and I don’t want to force you, if you don’t want to participate please let me know”. If she really DOES want to be part of it, and just plays her “too cool for school” attitude, she will want to stay. If not then not and you can easily and happily replace her with your friend.
Post # 12
@CzechBride14: can she do a reading at the ceremony or a poem/prayer at the reception? that’s how I would incoporate her, where you are still being respectful to a member of the family, yet you don’t have to spend money on someone who has no interest in it in the first place
Post # 13
Ask her again and explain what is required of her in taking on this role. She will either bow out or step up, then you have your answer.
Post # 14
@CzechBride14: ask her right up front and see what she thinks … treating her like a grown up might make her act like more of one
so basicly just go hey are you into this (call her or the house she lives in and really talk no text) … tell her if she does not want to be one she does not need to feel like she has to … offer her a choice of bm jr. bm and then just guest and tell her you will be happy with any choice she makes but let her know if she wants to be bm its important she texts you back and is part of the wedding
Post # 15
Can you talk to her mom? Maybe send her a note or call and just say that you’re been trying to get in touch with her for a solid month & haven’t received any type of reply. Explain to her that you’re wondering if maybe she’s just not into the wedding & would prefer to have a smaller role or just be a guest?