Post # 1
So it is a closely gaurded secret that I do not LOVE my dress. It is pretty, flattering, and lovely. Everyone in my family says it is great… My gpa cried when he saw it on me. But, I just never had that “THIS IS THE DRESS” moment with it.
Backstory…. Once upon a time about 4 yrs ago I was engaged. My mom and I went to look at dresses… I just wanted to Look that day…. I didn’t see anything I LOVED…. so I was done with the appointment. I LIKED my dress… but I guess my mom LOVED it. she insisted on buying it taht day. I got caught up in the moment…. and let her.
That relationship ended badly…. and the dress sat quietly in my gparents house out of sight. out of mind.
Fast forward…. met my now fiance’. We got engaged… and I debated what to do with the dress. We are pulling off a medium sized wedding ona shoe-string budget. So…. I just decided to keep my dress. An expense that didn’t need to be spent… was my thought.
The closer the day gets (6/30)…. the more sad I feel that I do not LOVE my dress. BFF to pick out her dress…. and the look on her face… knowing how gorgeous she looks… and how much she loves her dress. I’m wondering if I am missing out on something. One of my bridesmaids also had the same thing happen to her…. She’s always on me to just try on something and even if I have to put it on a credit card…. maybe choose something else. If not I’ll regret it. She’s been married 5 years and wants a redo badly b/c she hated her dress.
My mom is very proud that she was able to buy my dress…. (they divorced shortly after it was bought… but she bought it…. and I know that she was happy that she could do that for me) So I know it might hurt her feelings if I don’t wear it.
Post # 3
I do not “love” my dress either enough, I like it. That is good enough for me. This is because I do not have time to scour the earth looking for the dress I “love”. I mean it took me 26 years the man I love, so why should I be able to find a dress I love within a few months.
Post # 4
think you should just wear the dress your mom brought. you like it right. maybe if you get ur hair done and make up done put the dress on to make sure it still fits– 5 years is a long time.. and see how you feel in the dress. when u look like u want to on ur day
Post # 5
I didn’t love my dress when i bought it (my mum loved it) and i had seen so many dresses i really couldn’t choose…. but on my wedding day i still felt like the most beautiful woman in the world and thats exactly what it was meant to do. Since the wedding i am very much in love with my dress and i loved my photo’s which for me was the most important thing (besides getting married of course). I do believe that there is too much focus on ‘the dress’ but at the end of the day its just one part of the many things that make up such a wonderful day.
Post # 6
Thanks ladies! It still fits…. It is actually already at a friend of mine’s who is a seamstress to be hemmed and she is concocting some way to make the back fit (its actually too big!!!)
I do think that once I’m all beauty-ful on the big day…. I won’t even think about the dress not being absolutely perfect. It would really be a burdon for us right now if I were to go out and spend money on a dress… and there are a million things outside of the wedding I’d prefer to blow money on (new summer clothes…. you know “for the honeymoon” LOL)
Post # 7
Are you caught up with the fact that when you bought the dress you were engaged to somebody else? If so, I understand wanting a new dress.
Post # 8
No, I guess I watch too much wedding tv… and Like GREGGOR2 said…. So much emphasis is put on THE DRESS… and the magic that goes along with that. Like I said, when it was bought… I thought it was a pretty dress…. but I didn’t Love it even then. I was ready to tell the consultant thanks for her time and keep searching…. but mom already had her credit card out.
I’ve talked with my FI and he says that he doesn’t care that it was bought when we were not together…. all he cares about is that I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world on our day. I don’t think I’ve even told him how I feel about the dress (b/c he would insist on buying a new dress if he knew i didn’t LOVE it.)
Post # 9
I think the idea that you have to 100% fall in love with a dress comes from a lot of wedding TV. Some people may have that moment, but a lot won’t and that’s okay. As long as you like you dress and the way you look, it will be good! If you’re really unsure about it, try out your full wedding day look (dress, hair, makeup, veil, etc) and see what you think.
Post # 10
How about wearing the dress your mom bought for the ceremony
then something more fun for the reception that you can feel fantastic in. That’s what I would do!
Post # 11
@bricon: We’re doing something kind of unconventional for the reception. We’re going to do dinner, cake and all the formal first dances, etc. at the church and then getting out of there and going to my gparents house for a casual “after-party”. I do have a cute white cotton eyelet dress for that that I got on clearance at the end of last summer.
@msfahrenheit: I totally agree. I have been obsessed with all these wedding shows for years…. and I fell for that… I’m sure the wedding industry just LOVES those shows for perpetuating the need for a ridiculously expensive designer dress…..I guess I thought I was the only person to not LOVE my dress. I don’t care how much it costs at all… just as long as it makes me look pretty!
Post # 12
I think it does come from the whole TV show thing.. How many people do they show that don’t get the feeling or don’t really have that moment? None.. so thats where we get this idea that we should swoon over our dresses and get crazy! Everything will change once you have the whole picture and regardless your husband to be is going to think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world!
Post # 13
It being my second go around and wedding (divorced 13 years ago) and knowing then I was not pleased with my dress I searched for over 6 months to find the perfect one for me. I can’t imagine not walking down the aisle again with everyone looking at me with a dress I did not personally feel was just stunning. When I got married the first time I was not pleased and now that I am overjoyed with my decision I realize I did miss out the first time. Not everyone obviously feels this way but I would say you already sort of feel like you are missing out on something maybe.
Post # 15
@Otulyssa: That is what I fear. I have to go pick up one of my BM’s dresses tonight… I’m seriously considering making an appt to try on some other bridal gowns on my own. Playing with fire there…. what if I like something????
I just do not feel that this dress is as flattering as a dress could be on my petite/plus body. But I sit and stare at my pictures with kind of negative vibes…. maybe it’s fine. The picture posted is about 2 sizes too big- and white- Mine is ivory. I guess I just look at more “modern” styles and think they would look more “me”.
Post # 16
It’s very pretty and flattering.
I’m in a similar boat.. Our wedding timeframe was dictated to us by immigration. Originally we thought we’d be able to do it spring 2011. I was dress shopping in dec 2010 so I felt the pressure and literally bought the first thing I really liked. It’s now (definitely) scheduled for May 2012. I just don’t love it completely. Knowing what I know now I would have kept looking, but hindisight is 20/20.
Is there anything you could do or have altered to make it feel better for you? Can you add some personality to it, if that’s what you feel it’s lacking? I added a black sash and bolero with some detail I like to my dress to make it a little more mine.
If your mom might get hurt, you have budget limitations and you still like it enough I’d probably just wear it.