(Closed) Putting baby on a schedule

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t have any children so I don’t have any personal experience.  BUT i think you are totally right to think and feel the way you do.  I think a schedule is not a good idea.  Especially if she is soooo young still.  She is still so young that she isn’t going to ‘understand’ the schedule and wouldn’t know the difference if she sleeps in your arms, eats at home, gets changes in the car, wakes  up 5 minutes after getting put down……


Just keep doing what you are doing because you are doing a GREAT job ๐Ÿ™‚  A schedule is something you can look into when she is older… when she is 1+ I’d say.  By that time she will be having 2ish naps a day so you will be able to space them out so she can sleep longer during the night. 


Don’t let other people put you down!  You know what is best for your bub ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 4
869 posts
Busy bee

Try not to stress too much about everyone else’s opinion.  Some babies adapt quite easily to a set schedule, others take more time.  It is absolutely fine that you want to cuddle your new baby – don’t let others tell you otherwise.  Our little lady was in the hospital for more than 6 months when she was a baby – much of that time we couldn’t hold her because she was hooked up to so many tubes/machines.  Sorry, I don’t really have a great answer to your scheduling question, but I just wanted to let you know that I think it’s perfectly okay for you to cuddle your baby as much as you can right now. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Congrats on your new baby! I don’t have kids, but 2 of my 3 younger brothers are much younger than me (I was 13 and 15, respectively, when they were born) and the schedule helped them adjust to sleeping through the night sooner. However, if you’re not comfortable with implementing a schedule and the like, don’t do it. She’s your baby, you can cuddle her as much as you want :]

Post # 6
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ll speak from the other side–we put Dirty Delete on a schedule very early.  In her first month for sure.  But it was way, WAY more for Darling Husband and me than for her.  If she wasn’t supposed to eat until four, and she started crying at three, I totally fed her–so it was just a general thing.  She adapted to it very easily though, like PP said, she just seemed suited to it.

That all being said, this is your baby!  If you don’t feel a schedule is right, don’t do it. If you want to hold her while she falls asleep, do that too.  There is nothing that you’re doing right now that you can’t undo later if it no longer works.  

Everyone has an opinion about how your baby should be raised.  But you are the one doing it.  So if you and Darling Husband are on the same page, there isn’t anything you need to worry about.

Post # 8
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Are you a SAHM?  Or will you be going back to work?  Where will the baby be most of the day?

That tends to dictate the schedule……  If you are a Stay-At-Home Mom it’s much easier to parent “on-demand”, but if your baby will be in daycare, then I would contact the daycare now to get an idea of what they do with infants so that you can ease her into their schedule.  If she’s in a center daycare, it’s much less easy to individualize, so you getting your daughter on THEIR schedule is going to work the best.  If she’s at a home daycare / nanny etc it’s much easier for YOU to dictate naptimes, feedings etc.

The “schedule” will also depend on if you are breastfeeding….. as breastfed babies *tend* to each less quantity and more often than bottle fed babies.


Even though my daughter was in daycare, so she was “scheduled” at 6 weeks….. I was still an “on-demand” mom…. although she responded quite well to a schedule so it worked for her.

As far as the sleeping stuff goes….. right now she can’t remember or isn’t even really cognizant of what is going on.  Before I went back to work there were entire naps she took right in my arms.  By 2 or 3 months old, however, you and hubs willl need to “pick” your methodologies and try to stick to them.  It’s not as much WHICH methodology you pick….. it’s STICKING to it that is the MOST important.  find your boundaries and then remember that you now own an tiny-terrorist-capable-of-emotional-blackmail.  So, if you want her to fall asleep in your arms and that is your boundary…. fine.  But start a routine and be consistent with it.  You can’t one day let her fall asleep in your arms and the next night put her wide awake in the crib….. babies don’t understand that type of inconsistency.

And remember.  Your kid.  tell everyone else to take their advice for a long hike in the woods!!!!!!!!

Post # 9
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@roxy821:  Well, she’s 8m now, but let me see if I can remember her newborn schedule.

She was formula fed, and ate every four hours.

6am-I’d feed her while Darling Husband was getting ready for work.  She would usually eat, and then go back to sleep until about 8.  Then we’d both get up, and she’d spend some time playing on a mat if she was in the mood, being held if she wasn’t.

10am-I’d feed her, and she went clean out immediately after.  Sometimes she would stay asleep if I laid her down, sometimes I had to hold her.  She almost always stayed asleep until her next feeding at 2.

2pm-Food, and then we would play together.  We’d do stretches, rattles, whatever–she would lay on her back on the kitchen table and we would hang out for at least an hour, until Darling Husband got home from work, by then it would be 4.

4pm-DD was fussy as an infant, so she cluster fed (just 2oz) for a long time here, maybe two whole months.

6pm-DH fed her dinner, and she would alternate activities until 7, when we put her in her bed.  Once she passed her colic stage, she would go right out.  That was at 6w.

10pm-I sleep fed her, and put her back in her bed asap.  This whole feeding took 20-30 minutes.

3am-(DD slept 5 hours on her own) Darling Husband fed her while I slept.

So you see, this way, we both got stretches of sleep, and we knew when she would need to be fed.  It got easier to navigate outings around mealtimes, and to know when crying meant a bottle, and when it meant something else.

ETA-I held Dirty Delete all the time when she was an infant, some days she just wouldn’t sleep if I put her down.  She totally puts herself to sleep fine, and has for the last few months.  She just had to grow into it.

Post # 10
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have a similiar schedule to Quiet Scerenity, one sleep trick i have been doing is not interacting too much when she should be feeding. So at the 3am feeding I turn one light on and don’t interact other than to say I love you as I lay her back down. This is supposed to help ensure they realize it is still night time… and it works. We are just getting into a schedule at 7 weeks to help ensure we know when she is hungry or just cranky because it can be very decieving at times. 

Do what works for you. I hear a baby sleeping in your arms hurts their ability to fall asleep on their own but if you look hard enough you can find research to say anything!

Post # 12
5758 posts
Bee Keeper

I think all babies eventually put themselves on a ‘schedule’, so no need to worry about setting both of you up for failure by listening to everyone with an opinion. I think she’ll dictate her needs and let them be known, so just cue in on her and her signals and you’ll both be much happier.

You’ll start to see a pattern emerging where she’ll be hungry,sleepy or just fussy for no apparent reason. Breast or bottlefed babies all seem to put themselves on a 4 hour schedule anyway, until such time as they miraculously start sleeping in 8-12 hour stretches…and you’ll be checking every 20 minutes,swearing something must be wrong.  It will all work out as it should! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
2872 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@roxy821:  I didnt even think of putting Dirty Delete on any sort of schedule till she was about 10 weeks old.   For those first few weeks, she slept when she wanted to, she *GASP* fell asleep in my arms.  I did try to expose her to daylight during the day and at night I tried to keep the lights low and interaction to a minimum (But admittably I still oohhed and ahhed at her in the middle of the night, how can you avoid interacting with such a sweet face) anyway, at 10 weeks I started trying to get a very simple night time routine down so that it was a little more predictable when we could eat dinner. She had already started to make her own bedtime schedule to some extent.  I wouldnt stress about it.  At 20 weeks we are still tweaking her schedule and she isn’t like clockwork with naps some days.  Kids are people, they are all different, some days they will want to nap and others they won’t.  I am of the school of thought that if you can (especially if you are a SAHM) you should enjoy these early weeks without worrying about a schedule. I spent that time bonding, because you know what, Ive never heard of a kid who didn’t know the difference between day and night. They get it sorted eventually!

Congrats Momma, you are doing just fine!

Post # 14
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My Dirty Delete is 3 1/2 weeks old and has a schedule somewhat. Sometimes in the evenings I want to wake her up cuz I’m worried she won’t sleep during the night but 1) she won’t wake up if she wants to sleep and 2) she has always slept through the night anyway.

So enjoy these first few months. I have “Yout Baby’s First Year” by the American Academy of Pediatrics and it says you cannot spoil a young baby with attention. I have also heard that from the nurses at the hospital. 

My Dirty Delete falls asleep at the breast/my chest and I don’t see a problem at all. When she is a little older I’ll start sleep training her to fall asleep on her own!

Best of luck!!

Post # 15
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Oldtimer popping in here… as I couldn’t resist the title (at over 50 I am old enough to be a Granny)

roxy821:  you have gotten EXCELLENT advice from the other Moms / Bees.

It will all work itself out for you eventually.  For now tho, you really are on your Baby’s schedule until they sleep thru the night consistently.

Which is ok… just make sure that you get enough rest for yourself.  Some of the best advice is when baby naps mid-day, go have a lie down yourself.  It might be tempting to stay up (do laundry, lol) but really you will wear yourself out in short order if you don’t get some sleep.

Lol, Mothers are the most sleep deprived people on this planet… no need to intentionally sign up for that honour now (there will be years in the future where you find yourself the last one awake doing chores, and the first one up in the morning getting the household going.  5 Hours sleep will become your norm soon enough, I’m afraid… especially so if you are heading back to work)

I also, agree with the sentiments that crystlrox: posted… in regards to

“Your Baby’s First Year” by the American Academy of Pediatrics and it says you cannot spoil a young baby with attention. I have also heard that from the nurses at the hospital.

Infants cannot be spoiled… they are too busy sleeping, eating, pooing, and cooing… they love the cuddle… and WHAT MOM doesn’t ADORE the one-on-one time too (and yes they are amazing “little” people and super cute too boot… and they have their own unique smell too when they are freshly bathed… sort of like “clean cotton”)

Ahhh the memories !!

It won’t be until there are 6 months old or so, when you’ll start to see elements of their personality that can make all this go astray… as others have said, from that point on you have to very very consistent… because they are beginning to understand patterns (lol, they can’t tell time, they can only judge things by behaviour)

What you do at that point and time and forward will make all the difference.

To be honest, one of the primary reasons that people have well-behaved kids are because they get into a habit of consistent parenting.  And Daddy has to be on board as well… the two of you have to agree what the Routines will be and try not to waiver from them too much… such as Naptime – Dinner time – Bath time – Bed time etc

All this forms the foundation for later on when they are Toddlers, Kids and Teens.  They need to know what is expected of them (a child WILL ALWAYS want to please you… so make it easy for them).

Where it all breaks down, is as Parents we grow tired.  Or we have a bad day.  You change the routine for children (especially older children) and don’t tell them WHY and they’ll figure the dam has broken away…

When our kids were little (toddlers), Meal Time was one area we worked on from the time they were on “a routine”.  Things were consistent and always the same.  By the time they were kids and teens they were very aware of what was expected of them for mealtime.  Wash your hands – set the table – no “personal stuff” at the table (no game boys, cellphone calls, music buds) – no getting up and running around – ask to be excused – clear your plate to the counter / sink / dishwasher

And Dinner was family time… for catching up on each other’s day.  So you couldn’t not show up, unless you had made prior arrangements that we all knew about.  (And Sunday Dinner was ALWAYS MANDATORY… unless there was a very very specific reason)

Of course.. I am eons down the road here… but you get the idea.

What you do when they are young is important.

Lol, fortunately for you… tho, this is the time when NONE OF THAT MATTERS

Just snuggle your baby close, and enjoy.  Trust me the time will pass far too quickly**

** Feels like yesterday in someways (good ways), but in reality my youngest is now close to 30… how time flys.


Post # 16
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

When my son was a newborn, it just didn’t occur to me that he needed a schedule. Then people started giving their opinions but I didn’t give them much thought. My son was a very laid back baby and what we were doing worked well for both of us so I thought nothing of it.

Then a funny thing happened…after a while, I realized that my son had put me on a schedule! I started paying attention his cues and realized that he really did have a pattern to his day so I just took his lead. He’s now 4 and thrives on routines because it gives him the opportunity to be in control of his own day and to feel confident in his activities.

The only bit of advice that I would give you from the other side is about sleep. There’s no need to force naps but helping your little one develop a healthy sleeping pattern will benefit you both in the long run. Figuring out when she tends to get tired naturally, then giving her the opportunity to rest will help her learn to understand her own body. It also gives you the chance to help head off any instances where she ends up overly tired and cranky. That doesn’t necessarily mean put her in the crib alone. I would sometimes put my son in his swing and turn on a cd of lullibies that he still loves to this day. Just giving them the opportunity to relax their bodies and drift off if they need to is good.  

My son ditched naps a while ago but they still do naps at preschool. He understands the concept of “just taking a little rest” and he identifies it as a chance to relax even if he doesn’t fall asleep so the transition to nap time was an easy one for him. While the other kids are napping, his teacher allows him to lay quietly on his mat and read a book. He is still getting that rest that is essential for development and also rarely, if ever, gets cranky/upset from being overly tired by the end of the day. 


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